Charmed Life

I let it go on far too long.

I mean, it totally takes me by surprise, and… I can’t exactly help it. He’s got really soft lips and they fit perfectly over mine and they feel really, really good.

But then I remember the situation, and putting a hand to his chest, I unceremoniously shove him away.

“What the hell are you doing?” I screech, my voice high and a little breathy. Damn it. I stand up and move back from the bed, where he is still sitting. I try my best to compose myself, but find it hard to do.

“I don’t know!” He says, panicked. “You were crying and really sad and I… I didn’t know what else to do!”

“You didn’t know what to do…” I repeat slowly. “So your solution was to kiss me?!” I squint at him, shaking my head in disbelief.

“No!” He shouts. “Well, yeah. But it usually works. You know, makes people feel better?”

I shake my head some more. “I don’t know who you’ve been making feel better, but it’s definitely an acquired taste. I’m fine with, I don’t know, a little ice cream? That’s another viable solution.”

He stands up then, taking wide strides to the door. “I’m sorry. I have no idea what happened. You were crying, and I just wanted you to stop.”

I scoffed. “Oh, nice. I was crying, and you wanted to shut me up.”

“No, that’s not – ” He tries, stuttering. “Ugh, fine, yeah, I wanted you to shut up!”

“Goodnight, James.”

“Yeah,” he agrees from out in the hallway, “You should sleep, we’ll figure out the plane tickets tomorrow.”

I pause on my way to close the bedroom door. “We? Plane tickets?”

“How else are we supposed to get to Virginia?”

“We are not going to Virginia. I am. And Hayden can drive me…” I trail off, because, well, I haven’t actually discussed any of this with Hayden yet.

He studies me for a second. “Like I said, we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

He turns and heads for his own room, and I close the door before falling back against it, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

I touch my lips, which, against every fiber in my being, is still buzzing from that stupid kiss. Who kisses someone to shut them up?

Needless to say, I don’t get much sleep. In fact, I don’t get any at all. I toss and turn, running through the night’s events. From Gran calling me to James and his dumb kiss, I don’t sleep a wink.

It’s mostly Gramps I’m worried about, though. He’s the only male figure in my life. I’ve lived with him and Gran this entire time, and I can’t imagine him not being here. Not being alive.

Before I know it, I’m crying again, and I’m sure I’ll never get any sleep.

Finally, I get up and throw on a sweatshirt and leggings.

Quietly, I sneak out of my room and down the stairs. It’s a little risky to break into a neighbor’s house. I mean, they know I live here, and they know who I am. I figure I have to walk over a couple of blocks and pick a house whose owners I don’t wave to in the mornings when I leave for school.

I slip on my old pair of boots and am about to slide out the back door and onto the porch when the kitchen lights come on.

“Going somewhere?”

Fuck.

“Oh, hey,” I smile brightly at James, who’s standing by the door that leads to the main living room. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Just watching some T.V. What are you up to?” He says too casually. I didn’t hear anything. He was waiting for me.

“I was going to go for a walk,” I nod, buying my on own lie and hoping he does, too.

“At four in the morning?” He is skeptical, and I’ve been caught. But I don’t admit to it.

“Yeah!” I nod enthusiastically. “Researchers say it’s the best time to take walks outside to clear your head.” Actually, four in the morning is when people are in their deepest sleep. It’s a good time to break into their house. I don’t add this, though.

“You know what it’s not good for?” James asks me, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

“What’s that?” Maybe if I play along, he’ll let me go.

“Getting arrested!” He says loudly. “Remember how much fun that wasn’t?”

My shoulders sag. He knows. I sit my butt down across from him. “How’d you know?”

“I called Hayden. He said a night like tonight might make you antsy and to watch you.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Since when are you two so close?”

“Unlike you, he appreciates my profession and comes to my games,” James says. “But don’t try to change the subject. Tell me why. Why do you do it?”

I shrug, struggling to find the right words to explain. “Couldn’t sleep. I was too wound up. Doing… the rush I get… it tires me out…”

“But why break and enter? Why not actually go for a walk?”

I shrug again. “I don’t know why I do it. I just do it.”

It’s a lie, but he doesn’t push.

“Well, not tonight. We have to get up early tomorrow. Flight’s at eight.”

I ignore the fact that he went and bought the plane tickets without talking to me about it first. Instead, I’m thankful that he’s letting the whole breaking and entering thing go. For now.

I nod, and head back upstairs. My heart is still pounding from getting caught trying to sneak out of the house, and I realize how tired I am.

James has done so much for me. I can only hope to return the favor soon.

…..

I practically float into work on Monday. Things cannot be better right now. Well, they can be, but under the circumstances, things are good. Grandpa was able to come home after surgery, and I got to see my grandparents for a bit.

James and Gran really hit it off, and I finally told her about living with him.

I hadn’t wanted to leave, but work and school interfered with me staying any longer.

Amanda’s eyes widen as soon as I step into The Grille, and I smile wide at her.

“Oh my god!” She mouths at me silently, trailing behind me from the hostess stand and into the break room. She says, all excited, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Tell you what?” I ask, pinning my nametag onto my tank top and depositing my bag into my locker.

“About you and James?”

I freeze. Me and James? How does she know about the kiss? He and I had talked about it, and blamed the incident on the stress and anxiety of the night.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s all over Twitter and Tumblr!” She exclaims, taking her iPhone out of the back pocket of her jeans. “Look!”

I do, scrolling through the posts on Tumblr.

One after another, are pictures of James and I, him in jeans and a tee with aviators on, and me in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. At the airport, getting into a cab, standing in line to grab food.

The captions all peg me as the mystery girl James is dating.

“We’re not!” I cry. “Dating. We went to see my grandparents…”

Shit. The last thing I want is for something like this to happen. A quick glance at the clock tells me I’m late for my shift, so I ignore the hammering in my heart and head out into the dining room.

The next two hours pass without incidence, but I swear some of the female customers are looking at me funny. CM is full of Pens fan. I see girls all over campus in jerseys and shirts. The Grille is always flooded with fans, at least have of them girls. Chances are, someone will recognize me.

I keep my head down and head bent, but three hours later, it’s not enough to save me.

“You lying whore!”

“Hey, Rebecca,” I say, as my best friend’s girlfriend comes storming into The Grille. I am on my way back to place an order, and she’s caught me from behind. I whirl around and face her, smiling wide.

Heads turn and conversations cease as people avert their attention to us.

“What’s the deal? Are you like a live in slut or something?” She narrows her eyes dangerously at me, and for a second, I am afraid for my life. This girl is insane.

“What’s that?” I ask innocently, cheeks flushed, fully aware of all the eyes on us. Rebecca doesn’t care. She seems to actually enjoy the attention.

“What? You give him blow jobs instead of rent?” She moves closer. I swear, she’s prowling towards me. “Does he come home and relieve stress by fuc –”

And then everything happens all at once, so fast I can barely comprehend.

Josh shouts, “Whoa!” and grabs Rebecca from behind as she lounges at me. At the same moment, Amanda is there, out of nowhere, and her fist finds Rebecca’s eye.

Rebecca screams as some of the customers cheer. Amanda does a little bow and smiles as Josh frowns at her, Rebecca still struggling in her hands.

The bell above the front door rings, and I see Hayden walk in.

My eyes find Josh, pleading with him. “Can I please –”

He nods before I can finish my question, and I head into the back and grab my stuff.

“Lanie, what’s going on?” Hayden grabs my arms, trying to stop me. I whirl out of his grip.

“Your girlfriend’s crazy!” I snap at him, making my way out of the restaurant.

…..

At home, I shoot a quick text to Amanda, thanking her and promising to talk later. I am too shaken up right now to think straight. Rebecca’s bad, but there are more like her. Worse than her.

What if they come after me?

I might actually have to learn Krav Maga.

In the kitchen, I yank open the freezer too fast, and smack myself on the lips.

“Shit!” I curse, as warm blood begins too trickle from the split.

Seriously?

Instead of grabbing ice cream like I had planned to, I take out one of the many ice packs that James keeps in the freezer and place it gingerly on my bottom lip, wincing silently in pain.

“Alayna?!”

James rushes into the kitchen, panicked and eyes wide.

“Hey,” I greet sullenly. “Who died?”

He looks relieved to see me. I change my mind, and grab the ice cream before parking myself in front of the T.V. with a spoon. James follow, sitting close to me.

“Hayden called me… What happened?”

I cut to the chase, so I can eat my ice cream already. “Some girl thought we were dating and attacked me. Amanda punched her. It was great.”

“What about your lip?” He nods at my probably swollen face.

“Oh, this?” I laugh wryly, realizing he’s thinking the worse because of my injury. “This is me fighting and losing to the freezer.”

His lips turn up in a small smile, but he just shakes his head. “Hold on.” He leaves, coming back later with a small white jar. “We swear by these. Heals anything. Here.”

Gently, he takes the ice pack from me and places it between us on the couch. He opens up the jar and spoons some clear gel onto his finger. Lightly, he runs his index finger along my bottom lip, and a shiver runs through me.

I want to pull away, because this can’t lead anywhere good. But I don’t.

“There,” he pulls away, and I let out my breath softly.

“Thanks.”

“So some girl attacked you?”

“Yeah,” I say lightly. “It’s no big deal. I know krav maga, remember?”

He smiles, remembering, I’m sure, the night when he punched two guys for me.

“Right. I remember.”

He’s sitting so close. It would take my lips less than a second to reach his, and less than that to lose myself in him.

But I can’t. It can ruin everything. The worse part about getting attacked is that it’s for something I didn’t even do. I mean, it’s not like I’m actually dating him.

At least there’d be some reward to this whole fucked up situation.

“Is Kate mad?” I ask, because I can’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah, we broke up.”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t –”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t working out anyway.”

“Oh.”

I should just go for it. Just kiss him.

But what if he doesn’t want m to?

He does. He has to. He kissed me earlier!

And he’s leaning in. It’s going to happen. I should stop it, before it gets too far, but I don’t. I find myself reciprocating, leaning in to meet him.

I can’t wait to feel his lips on mine again, and this time, I won’t end it. I can’t wait to lose myself in him, and forget the awful day I had. It might have happened that way, but I don’t know, since my phones starts to ring loudly.