Regarding a Prince and a Princess
Dear Author
Dear Author,
Thankyou for your efforts but I’m afraid that I have had to discard your story, regarding a prince and a princess. I am sure that you spent a great deal of time on this piece and are keen to improve in the future so I have included some feedback to help you in your career.
I’d like to first congratulate you on creating the perfect prince and portraying him in such a majestic light; I can still imagine his olive skin, toned body and big blue eyes. Every young girl wants a man like this but learn to give up on their dream somewhere in adolescence because such men do not exist. Your prince, however, brings the dream to life and is so tantalisingly close to being believable. He fits the plot completely with his handsome figure and grand lifestyle.
However, your princess is not what is expected in fairytales and whilst I am very much open to twists and originality, this character simply does not fit. Her looks must always measure up to the prince’s and her personality would not be to the readers’ liking. It is sad, but there is a model that princesses in fairy tales must fit and yours does not do this by any stretch of the imagination. One cannot see her making any dramatic transformations at any point either, in order to fit.
Another issue that I have discovered is that the way in which the prince and the princess meet is simply ludicrous. No five year old with any brains at all would be able to believe that two very different people could meet in such a way as you have suggested. Even if their paths were to cross, under no circumstances would their clashing lifestyles allow them to become so much as friends, let alone live “happily ever after.”
Overall I would say that this story is divided into two very different halves; the prince’s side is perfect and needn’t be tampered with at all. The princess’ side, however, needs a lot of work. If I were you, I would scrap your current princess character and completely rewrite her so that she fits with the classic fairytale.
I hope to read more of your work in the future and wish you all the best with finding a more suitable princess for your prince.
Yours Sincerely,
Editor
Thankyou for your efforts but I’m afraid that I have had to discard your story, regarding a prince and a princess. I am sure that you spent a great deal of time on this piece and are keen to improve in the future so I have included some feedback to help you in your career.
I’d like to first congratulate you on creating the perfect prince and portraying him in such a majestic light; I can still imagine his olive skin, toned body and big blue eyes. Every young girl wants a man like this but learn to give up on their dream somewhere in adolescence because such men do not exist. Your prince, however, brings the dream to life and is so tantalisingly close to being believable. He fits the plot completely with his handsome figure and grand lifestyle.
However, your princess is not what is expected in fairytales and whilst I am very much open to twists and originality, this character simply does not fit. Her looks must always measure up to the prince’s and her personality would not be to the readers’ liking. It is sad, but there is a model that princesses in fairy tales must fit and yours does not do this by any stretch of the imagination. One cannot see her making any dramatic transformations at any point either, in order to fit.
Another issue that I have discovered is that the way in which the prince and the princess meet is simply ludicrous. No five year old with any brains at all would be able to believe that two very different people could meet in such a way as you have suggested. Even if their paths were to cross, under no circumstances would their clashing lifestyles allow them to become so much as friends, let alone live “happily ever after.”
Overall I would say that this story is divided into two very different halves; the prince’s side is perfect and needn’t be tampered with at all. The princess’ side, however, needs a lot of work. If I were you, I would scrap your current princess character and completely rewrite her so that she fits with the classic fairytale.
I hope to read more of your work in the future and wish you all the best with finding a more suitable princess for your prince.
Yours Sincerely,
Editor
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Please comment; I've never written in this style before because I've never had a reason to so I would love some feedback. Thanks!