I know I'm not alone

They all hate you. Those words echoed through my head late that night as I sat in my bunk, twirling a razor blade in between my fingers. Was it true? Did my mates hate me? Did the fans hate me? Hell.

My thoughts where quickly interrupted to a sharp pain in my wrist. I looked down and carefully examined the cut. About three inches long, two inches deep and an inch wide. I let out a small whimmper. James the fucking lightest sleeper even groaned and threw his head over the side of the bunk. "S-Sam?" he said worriedly eyeing the cut. I thrust my hand under the blankets. James fell from his bunk and lay looking worriedly at me.

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James POV

I was suddenly awoken to a whimper. The rest of the band were heavy sleepers. Not me. I peered down only to see Sam clutching a blade and bleeding. Why! Next thing I remember I was on the floor. Only thing Sam did was hide his cut. I felt hot tears fill my eyes. I couldn't let him see I was crying. I couldn't let him see. I quickly wiped my eyes. "S-Sam.." he didn't move or even look at me. I saw as blood stained his white bed sheet. I didnt get it. He always acted happy. No. He always was happy. Oh how I wished he'd look at me..

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Sam's POV

Shit. Shit. Shit. A millions times shit. I got up slowly and turned ad quickly ran to the bathroom to clean the cut out. As I ran it under cold water there was a soft knock at the door. James. I stayed quiet. Biting my lip at the pain the cold water caused. Another knock. Louder. "aye! Get out of the bathroom! Gotta take a bloody piss!" Danny. His heavy brittish accent spewying when he gets annoyed. I quickly wrapped the cut in gauze and pulled down my sleeves. Opening the door and brushing past Danny. James was still laying dumbfounded on the floor. I crawled back in my bunk, suddenly feeling arms around me and a warm soft caring kiss being planted on my cheek. I turned to see James, smiling at me. "Ahhh! Bloody hell! James!" he jumped back.

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James POV

What did I just do. Why did I just do that. I felt my cheeks get got and heard the rest of the band get up, Ben was groaning and rubbing his eyes. "What the fuck is going on!" Danny flicked on the lights and everyone shut their eyes and groaned. I quickly hid my blushing face. I like him. A lot. Sure I fucked band sluts and had girlfriends but they never made me feel the way sam did. His smile. His eyes. His laugh. Everything about him made my heart melt and race. There was silence among the bus until Cam finally broke it. "Why are we all being awken?" Danny and Ben shrugged at eachother and Sam kept quiet. I just let out a heavy sigh.

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Sam's POV

Why had Jame's done that! What the hell. Danny cursed under his breath. "Someone bloody explain!" his voice rawred. James nodded at him and took the band mates into the sex room. I ran to the bathroom feeling sick. After getting sick about three times I flushed the toilt and brushed my teeth till the taste was out of my mouth. A knock was at the bathroom door and I slowly opened it. The band rushed in and grouped hugged me. All but James. I saw him slump over and walk to his bunk. "Oh, Sammy" Danny said sympathetically. "Why'd you do it Sam" Ben looked like he was on the verge of tears. I pulled away from them and ran out the bus door. Luckily we weren't going anywhere. I didn't know where my feet where taking me but I kept running. I could hear the others call for me. I didn't turn or even look over my shoulder.