Take Me Out (on Tour)

“... Here.”

I glanced up, smoothed my fringe out of my eyes, and peered at the sign above the electronic doors.
“A clothes store? Are you fucking kidding me Matt?” I exclaimed, horrified at the thought of what my apparent friend was insinuating.

“Yup, only place left. Shouldn’t have pulled the short straw now, should we?” Matthew replied, looking far too smug for my liking. Bastard. He was so totally going to regret this.

“I hate you so much right now.” I told him calmly. “And don’t think I’ll ever forgive you, oh no, I’m going to hold this grudge against you guys for the rest of my-“

“Whatever.” Matthew cut in, shoving me towards the entrance of the store. “Get the job and then complain, yeah?”

He then left me. Awkwardly I stood outside for a few seconds more, my self-image battling with my good reasoning. What would everyone think? Oh look, the gay guy from that band has a job in a clothes store how stereotypical. Fucking stereotypes, if it wasn’t for the band I wouldn’t even be up this early. It’s all Gavin’s fault for coming up with the idea for us all to get jobs. It’ll help with funding he says, next tour we can sleep in hotels he says. Yeah well we better. Sean Smith likes his sleep.

I subtly crept closer towards the door of the shop, trying to make myself look as surreptitious as possible. With a final glance around the road, and a rather rude gesture from Matthew as he glanced back at me before turning the corner, I scowled, hmphed, and pushed open the door of... Warehouse? Really? Could they not have come up with a better name for a clothes shop, jeez.

As soon as I walked into the store, I was greeted with a blast of rather humid air, which forced me to pull my hood down on my jacket, exposing my totally rad hair. Not that I’m vain or anything but I totally suited purple hair. Pretty sure an old lady over in the corner nearly fainted when she saw me however... maybe I needed to reconsider my hair choices when applying for future jobs.

“Can I help you?” a middle-aged woman asked me, looking incredibly unsure about my presence.
I blinked, suddenly forgetting why I was even in that store, before reaching into the back pocket of my jeans and pulling out my incredibly crinkled CV. “I, uh, heard there was a job opening?” I attempted to flatten the paper, before tentatively offering it to her, trying to plaster a genuine looking smile on my face.

She took the paper from me, not even glancing at my (Gavin’s) incredibly well thought out CV, which would absolutely make me sound like the perfect worker. She led me over the service desk where she started tapping some keys on an absolutely ancient looking computer which looked like it predated the dinosaurs.

“Name?” She asked, glancing at me with her hands hanging over the keyboard expectantly.

“Sean Smith.” I replied, meaningfully staring at my CV in the hope she’d get the hint. I mean come on, that had all be details, there was no need to be questioning me-

“Here’s your name tag, my name’s Debbie, if you need any help with the checkout ask me and I’ll give you a little tutorial. Can you work to six? Yes? Ok, great! We’ll discuss pay at lunch which is in an hour.” She then promptly left me standing by the desk, feeling like a right pleb holding just a paper nametag and with no idea of what I was meant to be doing.

Fantastic.

“She does that all the time you know.”

This time I was so unprepared for someone else’s voice, I yelped and threw my arms up, consequently flinging my flimsy nametag across the desk. “Oh, balls.” I mumbled, dropping to the floor and trying to peer under the clutter in an attempt to find it.

There was a chuckle above me, and I glanced up to see a dark haired girl younger than me grinning down at me, my nametag between her fingers. “You know, sometimes asking for advice on things helps. For example, hello, my name is Annabel and I work here, therefore I could help you and you don’t have to stand around looking like an idiot, yeah?” she raised an eyebrow and offered my name tag.

I took it begrudgingly, and mumbled a thank you, straightening out my ruffled shirt (which Snoz had told me looked ‘dashing’ I don’t trust a man with hair longer than a girls though so the jury is still out) and pinning the name badge to the pocket. I still looked like an unemployed bum, but at least now people could use my name instead of the normal insults!

Annabel looked unimpressed. “You look like a mess; did you sleep on a sofa last night or something?”
Her question took me off guard, because yes, I had but was it that noticeable? I scanned around for a mirror and quickly scampered towards it, peering at myself sceptically. My hair was slightly ruffled, but nothing out of the ordinary, the shirt crinkled but only because Rhys had used it as a pillow and my black jeans looked the same as always. “I don’t look that bad.” I told my reflection, pouting slightly. “But yes, I did sleep on the sofa.” I said this to Annabel, who was now leaning against the wall.

“Next time maybe consider ironing your shirt, I mean clothes shop workers must look very presentable.” She smiled suspiciously, before nudging my shoulder. “Come on, time for the tour!”
Half an hour later I found myself stuffed in a small staff room, sipping on a mug of tea while Debbie from earlier gave me the briefest debrief I think I’d ever had. Like seriously, I dozed off for two seconds and then suddenly she was gone and the door was just closing and through the gap I could see the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

Wait.

I did a double take, quickly placing my tea down before dashing to the door and wrenching it open to catch a glimpse of that perfect human again... only to walk directly into Annabel.

“What the fuck Sean, stop rushing around the place, it’s like you’re on a IV of sugar!”

“Who the fuck is that?” I responded in a higher pitch than I intended, and slapped a palm over my mouth. Stupid voice box letting me down.

Annabel’s mouth quirked into a smirk, and she surveyed the store painfully slowly.

I growled, and nudged my head in the direction of where the man was browsing some shirts that were at the back of the store, his back was towards us. But I wasn’t necessarily looking at his back, perhaps somewhere lower...

“Oh, him? That’s Ian.” Annabel replied nonchalantly. “He’s always in here around this time because of bus schedules, don’t ask him about it he’ll go on for ages.”

I nodded, not really listening, as I was too busy looking at Ian. I mean he deserved a two syllable damn, a national parade, a modelling contract; anything that meant I could stare at him without seeming like a creep would be great right now.

“Stop staring, pervert.” Annabel hissed in my ear, chuckling slightly.

I flinched “What no I wasn’t staring what you- Annabel?” She’d cleared off. Pssh, women.

As I wasn’t entirely sure as to my job responsibilities yet, and as it was technically still my lunch break, I decided to skulk around by the till, purely because I could see the majority of the shop and therefore wouldn’t have to move when Ian did. I mean, not that I was watching or anything. Bah, who am I kidding I think everyone was.

I tapped my fingers on the desk absently, humming out a melody. I felt someone walk up to the desk, and glanced up to find Ian standing there. I blinked at him, not exactly sure why he had an expectant look on his face. What did he expect me to do? I looked him up and down sceptically, trying to figure him out.

“I was under the impression that when people go up to the till it means they want to buy something, was I wrong?” He said, a giant sexy smirk all over his face.

I giggled slightly, before realising what I’d just done. I mentally punched myself and sent myself to the corner for what I’d just done. I don’t giggle. I never giggle. In fact, I didn’t just giggle I laughed in an incredibly manly way and nothing you say will ever ever prove otherwise.

“Did you just giggle?” Ian asked, an eyebrow raised.

“...” I glowered at him from beneath your fringe. “If you’re going to be like that I really won’t serve you and you’ll have to figure out the computasaurus on your own, how does that sound?” I warily glanced the computer, wondering if saying its name aloud made it awake from its slumber.

“Whoa, ok, ok.” He leant forward on the desk and tilted his head so his hair wasn’t in his eyes. “To be truthful I’m not buying anything, I never do, I’m only in here to pass the time.” As if to prove his point he glanced at his watch and let out a pretty dramatic sigh. He glanced back up at me. “You’re new around here though aren’t you, never seen your face before...” he trailed off, waiting for my input I assumed.

In answer I pointed to my nametag. Come on people, what is it with you and not reading things?!
“Sean Smith?” Ian read out loud, smiling slightly.

I made a sound of agreement, and leant back against the wall, arms crossed. The computasaurus told me it was the end of my lunch break, but seeing as I trusted it about as far as I could throw it, I elected to ignore it and keep talking. Unfortunately it was disappointingly just talk, and no flirt.

Boo.

He talked for another couple of minutes before glancing at his watch and dashing off with a wink. What a charmer. From what I could tell he was in a band that was just about to set off on a pretty big tour, which was interesting, as I don’t think I’d ever seen him around the touring circuit. I mean, I’m pretty sure I would remember someone as gloriously handsome as him. I pondered this while I served the next customer, successfully managing to do so without losing a limb in the till.

Annabel came out from the staff room and started folding clothes next to me, and I leant against the desk feeling all pensive and distant. She ruined this mood by throwing a coat hanger at my face.
“If I know you like I know you Sean, you’re thinking about Ian, am I right?” She waggled her eyebrows.

I attempted untangled the coat hanger from my hair, feeling rather deflated about how she’d totally destroyed my whole angsty aura with a boring household item. “Firstly, you barely- ow!- know me, secondly, how on earth do you read minds?!” I tugged on the coat hanger once more, whined when I realised it wasn’t getting any looser, and sunk down onto the desk. “This day SUCKS.”

Gently Annabel pulled the coat hanger from my hair and placed it on the desk, she then ruffled my hair. “There, there Seany.”

I think I just twitched so much my facial features rearranged themselves.

~~~~~~

Later that evening, I stood outside with Annabel waiting for a lift home. By waiting, I mean angrily shouting down the phone at Snoz who in turn lazily relayed my comments to Matthew, who had decided he wanted to take the slow and scenic route to pick me up.

“Snoz, you better tell that twat that if he doesn’t hurry up I will kick him so hard he won’t be able to speak in his normal vocal register for the next year ok you tell him that.” I then angrily hung up on them, feeling rather proud of my totally badass moves.

“Friends being a pain?” Annabel asked, delving in her coat pockets for her own phone, which she then fished out and started fiddling around with. I assumed twitter.

I moved my fringe out of my eyes so I could give her a look. You know, that look. “Since when was all my business your business too?”

She dropped her phone back into her pocket, and set me a rather alarming grin. “Oh Seany, we’re work colleagues now, it’s basically my business to be in your business! Like all that Ian tension, ooooooh.” She nudged my arm, and nodded knowingly.

“Gossip.” I pouted, and crossed my arms moodily.

“Purple weirdo.” She shot back, looking away from me down the road.

I took the opportunity give her the finger.

It was then my charming lovely friends turned up.

“Oi, Sean, that’s a bit rude innit?” That would be Snoz, grassing me out.

“How was your day at the clothes store, honey?” Matthew called from the driver’s seat, winking.

I groaned inwardly, already knowing what was going to happen.

“Are these your friends?” Annabel asked, sounding way too happy to find that out.

“I really want to say no-“ I started to say, but Snoz was already out of the car with his arm around my neck and shaking Annabel’s hand. Where did he get these smooth moves from? Me, of course, I mean who else would it be? “But unfortunately....” I trailed off, as no one was even listening to me anyway.
Matt and Snoz were busily chatting with Annabel, while I stood here like some kind of third wheel in a group of four. This wasn’t cool. I glowered at Matt until he turned around.

“Sean what do you want, are you trying to make my face melt?”

“You mean my super powers involve that, I thought they just included being incredibly sexy, funny, great in bed, I mean the list just keeps going.”

Matt and Snoz both snorted, and I thanked god for blessing me with such supportive and caring friends.

“Come on Sean, stop talking about me.” Matthew grinned, and started walking towards the car.
“Oh no, I’m pretty sure Sean was talking about himself.” Annabel said coolly.

Matt froze. “Excuse me are you trying to both compliment Sean and insult me in the same sentence because that is not how we roll.”

Annabel blinked at him for a few more seconds. “Yeah, well, I gotta go. Catch you tomorrow Seany!” she waved cheerily before walking off, leaving me feeling incredibly smug.
“I think I like her.” Snoz stated after a few moments of silence.

Matt grumbled something incoherent and angrily slammed the door as he got in the car. Someone clearly didn’t like getting mocked by someone he barely knew. It seemed that I had taught Annabel incredibly well.

The car journey back home was spent staring out the window looking at the rain that had started to splatter over the windshield. Filling ever stereotype ever, I decided to stare moodily out the window and think back over my first day of my new job.

Annoying boss woman? Check. Pretty cool work colleague who annoys my friends? Check. Super good-looking guy who I could spend the week counting down the hour until I could subtly eye him from across the store? Check!

I guess when you look at it that way, it doesn’t really seem like I pulled the short straw after all.
Not that I'm feeling smug or anything.