I'm Looking for Something More Than This

Dinner went… surprisingly well. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought my dad would be rude and hard to hold a normal conversation with. But he was actually… nice. This was… different. Maybe me being gone for a few months made his attitude change? I hope it did anyway.

All throughout dinner I was hoping Nathan would walk through the door. It wouldn’t be idea for him to do it right in front of my dad, but… I miss that boy so much!

After all of us hung out once dinner was through, Kirstie and I went up to my room… or tried to. Before I could reach the top stair, my dad yelled out for me. I told Kirstie to go on up and I’d meet her later while I went back down.

I wasn’t sure what he could want. It’s impossible to read him! He turned and started walking to the kitchen. He came to the counter, sliding something glossy across it towards him.

“You made it into a magazine,” he grinned, seeming proud.

I was kind of excited for it too. I thought it might be something about my stay over in the States. But when I saw the cover, I realized that… it was a gossip magazine. Great. What rumors got started?

My dad went on to flip in a few pages and the pushed the bundle of pages over to me. The page was covered with… Nathan and I being couple-y in America. It actually made me smile. We’re so cute. But on the next page, it was Nathan… with another girl. A pain shot through my heart as I looked at this. He’s been… seeing someone else?

“Told you to stay away from those boybands,” dad went on to chuckle while giving my shoulder a pat… and then walking off.

Was he serious?! He didn’t tell me anything! Oh my gosh! Without a second thought, I snatched the magazine up and hurried up to my room, trying to hold in all of my emotions. I wasn’t going to cry! I will not cry!

Once I shut the door to my room behind me, it took me a while to look over at Kirstie. When I had finally mustered up the strength to, her eyes just showed that she saw right through me. Darn it!

“What’s wrong?” she asked gently.

I couldn’t say it. I could barely think it! Instead, I just tossed the magazine to her. She looked down at it, taking it all in like I had before. While she did, I plopped down on my bed, putting my head in my hands.

“Oh man…” she broke the silence.

“That can’t be… right,” I pushed out, my voice so weak.

“I mean… these look… real,” she was gentle with her tone.

‘But… I…” I tried to get out… My eyes started to sting though. I just couldn’t let go.

“It’s ok, Soph,” she cooed as she reached over to pull me in for a hug.

I didn’t know what else to say. I… liked him… a lot! And he does this. WHY?! I thought he cared about me! How could he do this?! I wanted him so badly this week… and he’s been… out with… another girl. How could I have been so stupid?!