I'm Looking for Something More Than This

“I can’t believe you’re going to live with us!” I squealed, hugging Soph tightly as we were dropping her bags in the guest room…although I have a feeling she’ll end up in Logies room.

“I know, I’m so excited,” She beamed.

“I am too,” Logan said, pulling her back up against his chest and kissing her cheek.

“I don’t feel like unpacking all my stuff,” Soph sighed.

"Why don't we just all go watch a movie or something?" Logan suggested.

"Ooh, yeah!" I buzzed.

"Lets go pick a movie," Soph grinned.

Logan hooked an arm around her waist and the two headed to the living room. I started to follow behind but Kendall reached out and out a hand on my arm stopping me.

"Um Kirst, can I...talk to you for a second?" He asked.

"Of course," I smiled.

"I, well, um..." Kendall trailed off.

"Is this about what has been bothering you?" I gently asked.

"Actually yeah," He sighed.

"Oh good. I'm so relieved you're going to finally talk to me about it. I've been so worried about you," I said, rubbing my hand on his upper arm.

"Well I'm not sure if you really want to hear it," He mumbled.

"Of course I do," I cooed. "You can talk to me about anything."

"Kirstie," Kendall sighed, running a hand through his dirty blonde locks. "I can't...be with you anymore."

"What?" Was all I was able to push out as tears welled in my eyes and I felt my heart breaking.
"I just can't do this anymore," He mumbled.

"But why not? What's wrong?" I cried.

"I just...am done," He obviously didn't know what else to say.

"Is there someone else?" I asked through tears streaming down my face.

"No," Kendall quickly replied, looking right into my brown eyes.

"Then...it's me. You don't love me anymore," I almost said more to myself as sobs racked my whole body.

"Kirstie, I-" He started, reaching out for me but I quickly stood up.

"No Kendall," I said. "How could you do this? I gave you everything, all of my love and you just throw it in my face! I wish I would never have been with you at all because then my heart would have only longed for you instead of been crushed by you Kendall!"

"Kirstie, I...I'm sorry," was the only thing he managed to push out.

"Me too," I sobbed, walking out of the room and into mine.

I crawled into my bed and pulled the blankets up to chin and just bawled. I had never cried that hard in my life before. I could feel my heart breaking abd the worst part was that the man I loved was the one who broke it.

I almost wished there was another girl, or we had a fight and broke up, but him just falling out of love with me is worse. I know he did love me too, these past eight months he couldn't have been faking it because I know we both felt it. But he just fell out of love with me, plain and simple but as simple as it was, it was more heartbreaking and hard to accept than anything.