I'm Looking for Something More Than This
Part Of Me
“Bye babe,” Nathan smiled as he pulled up to my house. “Wait, I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Oh, I’m fine but thanks,” I replied.
He leaned over to press his lips to mine but I turned my head so his lips met my cheek.
“Thanks for dinner,” I said before getting out of the car and heading inside.
I opened the door and found Logan sitting on the couch but Soph wasn’t there. I was glad he was here though, I really need someone to talk to. First of all, I didn’t even think this was a date, I thought it was just us hanging out but then he kissed me which was weird. I mean it was a nice kiss and all but that is my best friends ex! And all it did was make me long for Kendall.
But then on the other hand, maybe it’s good for me to try to get away from Kendall and get into dating other people. But Nathan can’t just be my rebound and I don’t care for Nathan in that way, although all that being with someone else seems to do is make me want Kendall more.
“Hey Logan,” I smiled before heading up the stairs and changing into my pajamas.
I headed back downstairs to find him scrolling through channels on TV so I plopped down next to him. He didn’t look at me until I started talking.
“Where’s Soph?” I questioned him.
“Out,” Logan simply replied.
“Oh,” I nodded. “Can I um…talk to you for a minute?”
“What do you want to talk about? About how you are being stupid,” He mumbled.
“What?” I asked. “How am I being stupid?”
“Going out with Nathan!” Logan shot at me.
“We aren’t even going out! I thought we were hanging out as friends until he kissed me,” I replied.
”He kissed you?” He said in disbelief.
“Yeah but I didn’t-“ I started but cut off.
“I can’t believe you’d do this, after what he did to Soph. And what about Kendall? How could you do that to him?” Logan asked me.
“How could I do that to him? I’m trying to move on Logan! Kendall broke up with me remember and he doesn’t care, he’s moved on and I need to try the same,” I sniffled.
Logan just grumbled something to himself before stomping upstairs. I just sat on the couch and cried because I didn’t know what to do. I mean, everyone tells me to move on from Kendall, but then when I try to they tell me not to! But even though I want to move on, I just…can’t.
I cuddled up with the teddy bear he had given me for my birthday and looked through pictures of us. We were so happy together, we really enjoyed being with one another whether that was laughing about a silly joke, sharing loving kisses, or having a movie marathon. He was the first person I have ever cared for on that deep level that you truly and honestly love them from the core of your being.
But now I no longer had someone to hold me in their arms and say sweet ‘I love you’s’ to, I no longer had someone to share funny stories with, I no longer had someone to miss the way I missed him.
Although I guess that isn’t totally true, because even though he probably didn’t miss me, I still missed him. I laid on the couch, crying into the soft fur of the teddy bear that slightly smelled like him and gazing at the pictures and I kind of wished I had never met Kendall, or at least never fallen in love with him.
But then I realize, if I had never met Kendall, I wouldn’t be in love with him like I was then, like part of me still is today and as time goes on, I don’t think that part that still loves him will ever go away, whether he loves me or not.
“Oh, I’m fine but thanks,” I replied.
He leaned over to press his lips to mine but I turned my head so his lips met my cheek.
“Thanks for dinner,” I said before getting out of the car and heading inside.
I opened the door and found Logan sitting on the couch but Soph wasn’t there. I was glad he was here though, I really need someone to talk to. First of all, I didn’t even think this was a date, I thought it was just us hanging out but then he kissed me which was weird. I mean it was a nice kiss and all but that is my best friends ex! And all it did was make me long for Kendall.
But then on the other hand, maybe it’s good for me to try to get away from Kendall and get into dating other people. But Nathan can’t just be my rebound and I don’t care for Nathan in that way, although all that being with someone else seems to do is make me want Kendall more.
“Hey Logan,” I smiled before heading up the stairs and changing into my pajamas.
I headed back downstairs to find him scrolling through channels on TV so I plopped down next to him. He didn’t look at me until I started talking.
“Where’s Soph?” I questioned him.
“Out,” Logan simply replied.
“Oh,” I nodded. “Can I um…talk to you for a minute?”
“What do you want to talk about? About how you are being stupid,” He mumbled.
“What?” I asked. “How am I being stupid?”
“Going out with Nathan!” Logan shot at me.
“We aren’t even going out! I thought we were hanging out as friends until he kissed me,” I replied.
”He kissed you?” He said in disbelief.
“Yeah but I didn’t-“ I started but cut off.
“I can’t believe you’d do this, after what he did to Soph. And what about Kendall? How could you do that to him?” Logan asked me.
“How could I do that to him? I’m trying to move on Logan! Kendall broke up with me remember and he doesn’t care, he’s moved on and I need to try the same,” I sniffled.
Logan just grumbled something to himself before stomping upstairs. I just sat on the couch and cried because I didn’t know what to do. I mean, everyone tells me to move on from Kendall, but then when I try to they tell me not to! But even though I want to move on, I just…can’t.
I cuddled up with the teddy bear he had given me for my birthday and looked through pictures of us. We were so happy together, we really enjoyed being with one another whether that was laughing about a silly joke, sharing loving kisses, or having a movie marathon. He was the first person I have ever cared for on that deep level that you truly and honestly love them from the core of your being.
But now I no longer had someone to hold me in their arms and say sweet ‘I love you’s’ to, I no longer had someone to share funny stories with, I no longer had someone to miss the way I missed him.
Although I guess that isn’t totally true, because even though he probably didn’t miss me, I still missed him. I laid on the couch, crying into the soft fur of the teddy bear that slightly smelled like him and gazing at the pictures and I kind of wished I had never met Kendall, or at least never fallen in love with him.
But then I realize, if I had never met Kendall, I wouldn’t be in love with him like I was then, like part of me still is today and as time goes on, I don’t think that part that still loves him will ever go away, whether he loves me or not.
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true.... i have to say though. I like him better live than his actual recorded songs cause i didn't know his songs before the concert then after i was like, he was good, i liked his songs but then when i listened to them on itunes....he sounds...ew like he's a little kid. he's way better live.But guess what i just realized Ky? You went to the first BTSummer tour concert and I went to the last!!!! that's special hahaha
comments?
I STILL WANT MY KENNY!