Break My Fall

If you had asked me a year ago if I believed in angels, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have pretended to ponder the question before finally declaring that no; I didn’t believe that angels existed.

If you asked me that same question now, I’d probably give a small smile, turn my eyes down while my cheeks were tinged a warm pink, and I would most definitely say yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

I had never thought that one day I would be presented with an angel, straight from Heaven. Of course, I also didn’t know that when I found this angel, I would also find love. My friends, my family… They didn’t understand my love for Castiel. Of course, they didn’t understand Castiel. Didn’t know that he was an angel.

But I was fine with that, because I loved him. I loved the way he interacted with the world around him; I loved his crooked tie and his ever present trench coat.

I especially loved when I was able to see him, which unfortunately wasn’t as much as I would have liked. Being an angel did have its downfalls. He had duties and responsibilities that required his attention. But without fail, he would come to me.

I knew it wasn’t easy for him. He remained emotionless most of the time, afraid of any hint of anger or happiness or sadness, afraid that doubt would creep in slowly and tear apart everything he believed in.

But he saved one speck of emotion just for me, a speck I cherished with everything I had: a smile.

Crazy how a smile could just solidify everything for me, and make me believe that everything that happened wasn’t just my imagination, that the nights spent together weren’t just a dream.

A simple twitching of the lips and everything fell into place and I was happy, smiling a smile big enough for the two of us.

His smile, a rarity, got me through until I could see him again. It was amazing how a smile could mean so much. It reminded me of how far we had come from our awkward first meeting…