Expectations

I was probably about half way through my next script already for Henry V, but this last half was beginning to seem much harder to read. The words were blurring together as sleep overcame me but it wasn’t this that had me put the script down. Laura was standing in the doorway to the bedroom of our hotel room looking absolutely perfect in the lingerie I bought her as an early Christmas present. She’d insisted she have it as she saw it on the shop mannequin through the window and to be honest, though I thought she’d look just as lovely in a plain shirt and shorts, I just wanted to make her happy.

“Come play with me,” she purred, and I was up before her lips had closed again. Her intent was obvious as she pulled me into the bedroom and pushed me onto the bed, the sheets making that strange crinkling noise that only hotel sheets made, before crawling on top of me and attaching her lips to my own. I kissed her back with equal hunger, aching to show her my love.

“You’re my heaven, Laura,” I told her, and I saw as she smirked a little.

“I wanna try new things with you, Tom. It’s our first night in a strange new country together… I feel it’s fitting.”

“What kinds of things?” I was getting hot just thinking about what she had in mind, but what she said wasn’t what I’d expected.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course, my love.”

“I trust you, too.” I began to kiss along her neck and jaw, my hands caressing her curves and enjoying the fabric that covered them.

“So what did you want to try?” I asked again, but received no answer as she slapped me in the face. Had I done something wrong? I thought that perhaps my hands were wondering, but she never usually complained about that. In fact she encouraged it, if anything, which upset me a little. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes but I knew how she felt on the subject of my crying, and so I took a deep breath and held them back. To my surprise, she placed her lips back on mine but I had to push her away, just gently, to better understand her.

“What did I –”

“Slap me, Tom.” I just stared at her, trying to judge if she was being serious or not.

“What?”

“I said hit me, Tom. Not too hard but you know… it turns me on.” She kissed my neck then and placed her hand on the inside of my thigh, seemingly waiting for me to make my move. I shook my head though, my body shaking along with it as she got up from atop of me and began to walk away.

“Wait, Laura!” I couldn’t hit her. I didn’t hit those that I hated, let alone those that I loved. I worried that this could be a problem, knowing how she could be when she had her mind set on something. It reminded me of when she told me she wanted me to sleep naked, which I wasn’t comfortable with at first, but everyone makes those little sacrifices. “We could try something else? Maybe we could get some ice from the freezer or order some strawberries and whipped cream and –”

“Forget it, Tom. I’m not in the mood anymore.” I hated that tone. She could be so cold, sometimes. She returned to the bed but sat beside me this time, turning off the lamp before slipping beneath the sheets. I waited a long time to be sure she was asleep before I got up and left the room, finding myself in the mirror of the bathroom. There was a bruise forming across my cheek, and I wasn’t sure I liked it all that much. I couldn’t understand how she would like to see me like this, beaten and bruised. My tears were falling freely now as I was alone, and I didn’t have to worry about living up to her expectations. She used to be so sweet. Her innocent nature was what first drew me to her, but I wasn’t sure I knew her all too well anymore. I knew she wanted me to be of a certain type; she wanted me to be the man I sometimes pretended to be, to call her ‘baby’ and buy her nice things. She wanted me to take her in the cinema and the parking lot and a few times I’d thought about it, but never could. I wanted to be a gentleman, if such a man existed, but being this man and pleasing her were sometimes two completely different things. I couldn’t stretch that far.

I eventually found myself back in bed, careful not to wake her as I got beneath the covers. I wanted so badly to touch her and cuddle up to her side but I knew very well how much she hated that. She claimed she got too hot as I would spoon her, and we’ve drifted further apart in bed since. I could handle that, though, if it meant I kept her happy. All I wanted to do was keep her happy, and sometimes I feared she knew exactly that. She knew how far she could push me, and I’d bend every time.