My Heart Has Lost All Hope

"don't be fooled I was raised by the wolves !" Ronnie screamed from the stage as I watched from the side of him behind an amp, but he could see me. 

I loved this song. It was one of my favorites that he sang, he used so much passion and many different highs and lows in his voice. I was infatuated with the way he moved.

"Well everyone this will be our last song" the crowd went wild at his voice . 

"I'm sorry but I have a 'good girl' to get back to who's right over here" he made air quotes and then pointed over to where I was standing and gave me a devilish look and a dramatic wink, the crowd couldn't see me but the boys could and they all blew kisses at me. I couldn't help but laugh. They were all adorable. 

"I know you all can't see her but trust me she's hiding right back there and I always ask myself..." he held the microphone to the crowd as every single boy and girl out there started singing the opening verse.

"WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD GUYS?!" 

I think I may have a new favorite. I smiled and watched Ronnie jump around the stage , his pants starting to fall off as he stood by jacky and mimicked his movements. I couldn't wait for Ronnie to get off stage. I wanted more time with him. 

The song came to a close and Ronnie was screaming asking the crowd..

"I need to know ! So come on ! TELL ME?" he yelled then walked over to me I was slightly visible. 

The crowd started cheering and watched in pure curiosity what Ronnie was going to do next. 

"so pretty lady, why don't you tell me? Why do good girls like bad guys?" he smiled and held the mic out to my face . I stared at the crowd and smiled. 

"well Ronnie, all good girls are just bad girls in disguise. They just hide it better" I winked at him. The crowd went wild at my answer as I walked away from the stage and towards the busses lighting a cigarette . I stopped not far from where Ronnie would be walking by next. 

"well everyone thank you for coming out ! Enjoy the rest of warped tour this evening ! I'm gonna go catch my girl!" he said and put his mic on the stand and ran off the stage in my direction 

"Your a clever girl" he huffed to me out of breath from singing and running around on stage 

"Oh am I?" I said giving him a playful look and a long drag of my cigarette, which he grabbed from my lips and took a drag from then handed it back to me. 

"Thanks sweetheart" he winked and strutted off to the bus, hopefully to take a shower. 

"great show guys!" I explained to Ryan's jacky  , Ron and Derek who just finished throwing out souvenirs to the crowd. 

"Thank you! I'm surprised you didn't choke up when Ronnie put you on the spot like that" Ryan laughed I blushed at the thought of that moment. It was a little embarrassing 

"speaking of Ronnie where is he ? " Ron asked and looked around. 

"He's already on the bus guys" I said as the all gave each other a shocked looks. 

"damnit ! Ronnie gets the first shower ! Which means cold water for the rest of us" Derek pouted. 

"Its always a game we play to see who gets the shower first after a set . Ronnie wins a lot but Ryan gives him a run for his money" jacky explained to me  I mourned 'oh' to him dramatically with wide eyes and wondered off to Finnish the rest of my cigarette. 

I sat at the back of the stage , legs
Hanging off the edge of the ramp I was sitting on. Just taking drag after drag and looking up at the sky. I was in my own little world. Thinking about Ronnie Radke and how he unexpectedly became a part of if. 

I jumped as two hands covered over my eyes with my cigarette still in my mouth. 

"Guess who?" I heard Ronnie chuckle trying to disguise his voice but failed miserably at it. 

"Ronnie" I breathed grabbing his hands into mine and forcing him to sit besides me. 

"damn, thought I scared you" he teased lighting up a cigarette of his own 

We sat in comfortable silence as we both finished our cigarettes. I stood up and stretched , Ronnie wrapped his hands around my waist from behind   And forced me to dance with him. He spun me around to face him, kept in left arm on my waist and grabbed my hand with is right and swayed with me. 

"Ronnie... This is fun" I smiled as he dipped me down and brought me back up to his face. Brushing his lips across mine but not kissing them. Teasing me.

"Im glad your having fun Nessa" he whispered and stopped our dance.

I grabbed his hand and made him follow me to the bus. The boys had all gone exploring around with other bands and me and Ronnie were alone. I took him to the back room. 

"Nessa?" he questioned as I left the room and came back quickly with a plate and sat in front of him. 

I grabbed the Baggie he gave me earlier from my pocket and poured out enough of the powder for four lines. Once I had made the lines with the card I had kept from Vegas Ronnie rolled up a dollar bill and railed a line into his nose immediately. He offered me the bill and I did my lines one in each nostril quickly. 

We both smiled at each other , starting to feel the rush from our drugs. 

"You really are different Nessa" he smiled pulling my face to his and kissing me softly . 

"Ronnie" I moaned slightly as he lightly bit my bottom lip 

"yes?" he whispered in my ear kissing my neck. 

"You sure you want to do this ? Remember what happened last time? " I shook remembering the incredible shock in his eyes and the coldness he gave me afterwards

"Nessa , I'm sorry I won't be like that this time" he said looking me in the eyes.  His eyes were sincere and he meant what he said.

"ok Ronnie" I replied and crashed my lips  to his wanting more of him.

I felt Ronnie smile into my kiss, he laid me into the bed on my back and started running his hands up my sides , effortlessly taking my shirt off and tossing it to the floor. I tugged at his pants unbuttoning them. He stopped briefly and took them off revealing his boxers and his arousment. 

"Nessa, your so beautiful" he mumbled into my neck kissing it 

I started taking off my shorts as he took off his jacket and shirt. Both rushing to get into each others skin. My heart was going a mile a minute as I felt the rush from my high take over me as Ronnie got me fully Un dressed and started rolling the condom on . 

He kept kissing me softly, no where near as rough as last time and he entered me slowly, but with powerful force . He was using a strange rhythm taking his time and making me moan uncontrollably,  he was playing with me and I loved it. I started to buck and force him to go faster into me, he held my hand in his and pulled my hair with the other. Our hands squeezed together for a moment and I felt something I've never felt before . It was magical.

I grabbed his hands and moved them to my breasts for him still keeping our powerful thrusts in sync. He squeezed my breasts hard as I yelled his name and his breathing got heavier. He was close. I was close. He thrusted harder then ever a few more times causing our moans to escalate and grow louder as we both felt our releases at the same time. 

Ronnie moaned my name and grabbed my hand as he did so.

I held his hand back... That wasn't just another fuck.