My Heart Has Lost All Hope

Unfortunetly Warped tour this morning is back in Vegas... Oh joy. I decided I wanted a distraction.. so I immedietly laid out three lines of cocaine, Ronnie was with me, his hunger for my lines were more then I could handle. He easily did five. He seemed vacant for the day, Like he was no longer checked into his body, he wasn't 'Ronnie' he was the shell of Ronnie. I was used to being around people like this. So high they were oblivious to anything, I do it from time to time, but I usually know what I'm doing. But Ronnie, he just went with the flow.

"Nessssaaaa" he slurred at me, drinking rum with his cocaine this morning.

"Ronnieeee" I slurred back, not quite on his level yet.

"Lets visit the back room" He slurred again kissing me harshly on the lips. This Ronnie would be hard to handle. but I was up for it.

"Lets" I smirked at him as he grabbed my hand and we hastily made it to our destination on the back of the bus.

Ronnie was rough and didn't hesitate to do what he wanted to me. I liked it, but it was surprising. He had my clothes off in a matter of seconds, taring my tank top and panties in the process, but I didn't care. I wasn't so gentle with his clothes either. We bit at each others necks and chests for a few short minute that seemed like seconds. He roamed my body with his hands, squeezing my ass and breasts as he kissed me down to my waist.

He moved back up to my face and stared down at me for a moment, he kissed my lips surprisingly sweetly, considering everything so far had been rough and fast, but as soon as the kiss was over he suddenly thrusted into me full force, I moaned not expecting it and he smiled that devilish smile of his at me. he continued his rough rythym pulling my hair and grabbing my hips as he did so, I was calling his name wildly, this only made him more excited. He slowed and asked me to turn around on my hands and knees. I smiled and obliged him.

He was going deeper and deeper now, pulling my hair and playing with my breasts as he rode me into immense pleasure. He was moaning as he grabbed my hips and forced me to move faster with him. he was close ans I knew it. He grunted a "fuck" under his breath as I felt him release me, and kiss my back.

We were laying next to each other, in a sweat. Ronnie had to go on soon, and I was needed at the merch table. I looked over at the Ronnie ive become to know, the second him, the him that was high. HE started to get up.

"stay right there" He smiled at me. he grabbed his baggie full of cocaine and told me to "stay still"

He ran a line from my vagina to my navel, He snorted and licked at it. It was amazing.

"Ronnie" I breathed as he kissed my lips and offered me some more of our release. I gladly did a few more lines and started getting dressed with him.

"What time will you be done?" I asked as he zipped his pants.

"Around 6, Ill come by the merch table to see you right after the show! I promise." Oh Ronnie and his promises. So far they've been true to me.

I watched him stumble off the bus, I've never seen Ronnie so... out of it. Then again, I've only known Ronnie for a few weeks now. Everything he did was new to me, and I'm sure there were things I didn't know about him. For example, I didn't know he could handle that mush cocaine without exploding.

I made my way to the merchandise table, I was wearing my hair long and curly, with bright red lipstick a red tank top black jean shorts that were tighter than all hell on me, and Ronnie's 'falling in reverse' blue denim jacket he insisted I wear again today. I smiled at the moment on stage yesterday

"Ladies and Gentlemen, We are falling in reverse, and we are here to fuck shit up!" Ronnie screamed into the microphone, They opened with 'raised by the wolves' one of my favorites they performed live. I smiled at Ronnie as he winked at me off stage.

"everyone, I always ask myself this same question everyday. Why do good girls like bad guys?" The crowd roared.

"Wait Wait Wait, I Asked my LOVELY, and TALENTED friend yesterday to come on stage and answer my burning question - and she showed me up" The crowed screamed in excitement. He was direting all his attention to me.

"I see her right now folks, I wish shed come dance with me" He smirked into his microphone. I nervously made it out onto the stage, The crowd went wild.

Ronnie snapped his fingers. The boys started playing my favorite song, all of them with smiles on their faces from seeing me on stage. Ronnie sang loudly at me while taking my hand and twirling me.

"WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD GUYS?! I'VE HAD THIS QUESTION FOR A REAL LONG TIME! I'VE BEEN A BAD BOY AND ITS PLAIN TO SEE!" He grabbed my ass and the crowd cheered as he grabbed it and winked at me, he dipped me low while the boys chanted "Whoa oh, oh , oh, ohhhh, oh" and placed a kiss on my lips"

That memory had me grinning from ear to ear, I looked like an idiot making my way through the crowd as I reached the merch stand, I received a few points and whispers on my way. why?

"Thanks for taking over today, I really want to see some bands" steven grinned as he showed my where the money goes, and how to record what sizes and type of shirt was being bought to keep track of money, I had to count every hour on the hour. Which was fine with me.

I sat their for awhile listening to the amazing music around me. I had only gotten a few customers so far, everyone was busy moshing at the stages around me.

"Hey, your that girl!" A guy said to me as I looked up at him. It was a boy around 18 or so with a vans snapback and a pair of jeans on, no shirt.

"Excuse me?" I said surprised.

"Your that girl who Ronnies been posting with him on instagram, and there's pictures of you two all over the internet dancing on stage together." He explained to me as he took out his iPhone and showed me 'instagram' and there I was, a picture of me from behind with the 'falling in reverse' jacket on, a cigarette in my hand and me looking out to the crowds sitting off the stage with a caption "shh, she doesn't know shes being watched" It was a beautiful photo for a camera phone.

"I had no idea He was doing that, Hey show me how to download that app ,instagram" I asked the boy he smiled

"Only if i can get a picture with ronnies girl!" he said. I agreed, he held up his phone and took a picture of me giving a thumbs up with him.

After the boy showed me how to download that app he bought a tank top and went to go see Ronnie perform.I set up a name like Ronnies. I was 'Nessainreverse' I smiled and followed Ronnie. I loved this little app I started instagraming all that I could. I was to scared to bring my camera anywhere at these shows, I didn't want to break it so this app was neat. I have never had a smart phone before so I texted ronnie.

- Follow me on instagram [Nessainreverse] I know im being watched ;]
To: Ronnie < 3

- Clever ;) and oh no :O who told you?
From: Ronnie< 3
-Some fan recognized me at the merch table and showed me your sneaky ways Radke < 3 BTW can I go on gogle with this thing???
To: Ronnie < 3

- hahah your so cute, never had a smart phone huh? yes hit the compass < 3
From: Ronnie < 3

I smiled and hit the compass and searched 'Ronnie and girl dancing' into Google. Sure enough, there was tons of pictures from that moment.

I found a beautiful one of him dipping me, my back was arched and I was low to the ground, the mic was in his hand an he was gazing into my eyes wide with his mouth open and holding my with one arm.

I smiled ans set it as my Lock screen picture background.