My Heart Has Lost All Hope

"BEACH DAY!!!!" I shouted excitedly , jumping down all the steps to the bus and whipping my towel around as the boys all groaned behind me . 

"Nessaaaaa do we have to ?" Derek pouted as jacky put a pair of sunglasses on 

"it's her birthday and today is all about her" Ronnie said hitting Derek right in the arm. 

"oooooo that's right ! It's your birthday Nessa ! Aren't you excited ?!" Ryan said running up to me and pinching my side

"OW! Ryan cut it out !" I laughed, he was trying to pinch me the number of years I've been alive today . He was spanning them out.

"we'll I'm excited" Ronnie said as we made our way to the boardwalk of Virginia beach , I was absolutely ecstatic and skipped the entire way. My hand in Ronnie's . 

"I'm so pale guys, I'm going to fry! " jacky squeaked, he wasn't excited about the beach at all, honestly he was a ghost, but so was I and I never fry at the beach. 

"jacky I am paler than you ! If I can handle it anyone can !" I sort of sang as we passed all the familiar stores and attractions I grew up with. 

"OH MY GOD RONNIE !" I shouted as I saw the most dangerously fun ride on the Va strip I was pointing at it furiously As I ran towards it.

"Oh fuck no Vanessa,  you will die on that thing!" Derek gasped as he looked on in horror, mouth agape and looking at me like I was insane.

"it's my favorite guys ! Your all just chicken!" I shouted pointing to all of them who could barely look at the ride , even Ronnie looked skeptical.

It was in the oceanfront amusement park on 16th street, it was a bungee ride the bungee cords came down like a V making a slingshot with a ball like cage attached in the center. Two people get strapped in and then they tighten the cords and the ball shoots you 250 feet in the air at 50 mph, and the cage flips forewords and backwards the whole time. It's such a rush.

"come on Ronnie pleaseeeee! I was scared the first time I rode it, but then I got addicted to it!" I hopped in front of him in just my bikini and flip flops on as he gave a huge sigh eyeing me up and down, then licking his lips.

"fine... But if I die I'm dragging you to hell with me!" he explained looking horrified of the ride, and grabbing my hand. 

"you'll be fine you big baby!" I slapped his bare chest and he laughed leading me up to the ride. 

Ronnie grasped my hand tighter then ever before as the cage leaned back and we waited for the bungee cords to shoot us up on the slingshot. we could see Derek nervously chewing on his fingers and jacky and Ron freaking out silently looking on. Ryan was excited and filming us with his phone laughing hysterically at Ronnie's horror stricken face. 

The ride shot straight up and I giggled with excitement loving the feeling it gave me in my stomach, butterfly's.  Ronnie was yelling loudly "get me the fuck off this thing Oh my god" I was yelling  back in reply "THIS IS AWESOME STOP BEING SUCH A BABY RONNIE" 

I waved at Ryan's phone a few times when the ball would go back down and shoot back up we were flipping every time the ride did this.  Ryan was giving a huge thumbs up and the rest of them looked like they saw ghosts when we stepped off our short 5 minute ride.

"see that wasn't so bad you big baby!" I said getting on my tip toes and kissing Ronnie lightly, he smirked slightly at my actions. 

"NESSA! The scream Ronnie makes right as you two take off is PRICELESS" Ryan said excitedly watching his video 

"let me guess, you've already tweeted and YouTubed that all over the place?!" Ronnie stated as he caught his breath still freaking out. 

"of course I did ! It's at 200 views already !" Ryan cackled as Ronnie chased him back to the boardwalk.

We decided to finally get onto the beach after our ride and I was right at home again. I was sinking my feet into the sand and I put my arms up in the air feeling the salty breeze. I then ran straight out into the ocean at full speed not bothering to notice how cold it was. 

"your insane Nessa !" jacky shouted slowly dipping one foot in at a time and shivering 

"whatever jacky baby your being a pussy" Derek shouted at him as he pushed jacky right into an on coming wave that engulfed them both. 

" YOU ASSHOLE! " jacky shouted as him and Derek continued to fight . Splashing each other like five year olds.

Ryan and Ron Lounged in the sand and started building castles with water and shells, they were like big babies it was adorable. Ronnie ran in after putting on sun screen and scared the living shit out of me by swimming up behind me without me noticing and grabbing my foot and pulling me down.

"AHHH" I yelled as I went under and opened my eyes only to see Ronnie smiling at me under the water. I flipped him off and re surfaced before him

"I got you so good !" he laughed as he picked me up wedding style in the ocean and spun me around.

"that wasn't funny Ronnie !" I glared and tried crawling out of his arms but failed.

He pulled me into a deep, wet, slippery, kiss. We were interrupted by 'whopping' and cat calls from the boys. I blushed and grew hot as Ronnie made a bigger scene by making the kiss longer. We received more cheers from the guys.

After a few hours on the beach we went to my favorite bar for drinks and their famous crab dip. Harpoon Larry's ! I grinned from ear to ear as I drank my orange crush the signature drink of the ocean front. The guys were having a blast and were happy I dragged them along. By time we were ready to leave I was tipsy , but I felt good. 

"what's next Nessa!?" Derek shouted as he helped me up from my seat and empty crab dip as Ronnie paid our bill. 

"well guys I was hoping to take Vanessa alone for a little while" Ronnie said replying to Derek for me,

"that's fine ! We want to go exploring anyways" Ryan butted in, what was he up to? 

I watched the boys all leave me and Ronnie. He was up to something ... They all were. Ronnie kept trying to secretly text when I wasn't looking, but believe me I noticed.

"I thought we'd go see your sister today" Ronnie finally pipped up as we made our way down the boardwalk he squeezed my hand harder and I returned his squeeze

"I'd like that Ronnie, but be patient with me" he nodded and hailed a cab to take us to where my sister lay.

I walked through the familiar black gates, surrounded by angel graves and stone paths. The graveyard here I knew well, it was one of Abby's favorite spots . She was a weird girl. I knew she would have loved to be buried here, so I made sure it happened.  I slowly walked up and down the hills to the center of the cemetery, I was silent and Ronnie followed right behind me not saying a word. He understood that I was thinking as we approached the center, where Abby was buried . I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I stopped a few feet before her grave. Her stone was in the shape of a heart and there was a howling Wolf statue sat in a guarding way behind it , paws resting on the heart. 

always at rest, but always racing through our hearts and minds, rest in peace 

Abigail Kimberly Wolfe  

I silently read the words, I couldn't bring myself to look at the date, it brought back to many memories. I sat down in front of Abby, and I felt Ronnie sit next to me .

"hey Abby, I miss you every single day, I'm sorry I haven't visited in a long time, but I wasn't strong enough then" I started talking to me sister as Ronnie grabbed my hand in his, urging me to continue .

" you'd be so proud of me Abby, I'm being a hopeless romantic just like you, I met Ronnie here and I haven't been giving up on him, just like you always said, follow your heart  well I am. Just like you would tell me to. I couldn't be happier, I just wish you were here to see me. I miss you baby doll, i love you with all my heart, sleep well princess" I started letting tears fall as I placed my hand on the stone, feeling its cold rough edges beneath my fingertips. I felt hollow about leaving, I felt like I needed to be ripped away from this place again, but I was stronger now and walked away with Ronnie. I felt and odd calming breeze go through my hair and I swore I heard someone whisper my name.

I swear I heard Abby whisper my name and say I love you Vanessa    as me and Ronnie started our journey back to the bus. I smiled knowing my sister was happy and that she didn't hate me.

Me and Ronnie were silent on the way to the bus, I cuddled into his side and he wrapped his arms around me and twirled my hair with his fingers. 

"SURPRISE" all the boys screamed the second I opened the door to the bus. I looked around there was purple streamers and balloons everywhere on the bus , I smelled a sweet orange smell as I was bombarded with hugs from all the guys . so this is why Ryan wandered off insisting all the boys follow and it explained Ronnie's secret texting

"you guys! " I cooed still in shock as they all sang happy birthday and lead me to the smell, it was a modest sized birthday cake, pink and yellow in color , I smiled and looked through my smudged glasses  at the flickering ' 25 ' shaped candle. 

"MAKE A WISHHHHH" derek shouted excitedly and sang to me. 

I closed my eyes and made my wish, it already seemed like it was coming true though.  I closed my eyes and wished as hard as I could. Then blew out my candle  and looked up to see Ronnie, my Ronnie  holding a present for me.    

I  looked into his amazing smoldering eyes and smiled , all I could think was

 '  wishes do come true... '