My Heart Has Lost All Hope

All the boys had presents for me, I smiled and shook my head. 

"you guys didn't have to do this for me" I examined gesturing to all the balloons, cake, and presents sat around me. 

"Yes we did! Your family Nessa! We wanted to make your day amazing!" jacky said sincerely and begged me to open his present first. 

"Thanks guys!" I replied, they all watched me closely as I chose which present to open first. I grabbed Derek's as he fisted the air shouting "yes ! She picked me first!" everyone laughed as we sat around the loving room area and I opened my gifts. 

I un folded the paper to reveal an amazing new pair of VANs shoes, they were bright red and had wolf heads on the top with their mouts open, the rubber was black instead of white. I LOVED THEM. 

"thank you so much Derek they are amazing!" I smiled and have him a massive hug. 

"I notice every morning the shoes you run around in are pretty torn up. So I thought a new pair would save your poor feet" he joked poking at my feet. He was so sweet to me all the time. 

"Well I LOVE them! I'll open Ryan's next!" I announced an reached for the box he had on his lap. 

He scratched his head awkwardly, nervous I wouldn't like his gift, I opened it and it was amazing. I lifted up the bright purple leather jacket. It was only  purple from the neck, shoulders, and torso. The sleeves were black and fitted in the cuffs and there were four pockets two breast pockets and two for my hands near my hips. 

"Ryan ! I LOVE it! Thank you so much! It's my favorite color!" I hugged him to and he nervously smiled at me as I tried it on in excitement. It fit perfectly.

"Me neeeeeeext!"  Ron whined as I laughed at him handing me his present excitedly. 

It was small but I'm sure I'd love it, I tore open the paper and revealed a shiny pinked chrome like chain. It was adorable and would go well with my black jeans. 

"Ron this is so cute!" I beamed a smile at him and he scratched his cheek

"I thought you needed some 'rocker' bling." he smiled and I hugged him. 

"Open Jacky's next Nessa" Ronnie suggested wanting me to open his last. Jacky smiled and set his gift in front of me smiling from ear to ear, he was excited for me to open it.

It was a big gift and oddly shaped. I started taring it open, it was an acoustic guitar, it was a deep mahogany color- all wooden. It was beautiful, it had a red tint to the wood and the backside was red, it was beautiful.

"jacky its so cool! I have no idea how to play though!" I said stupidly as him and derek laughed at me.

"me and Derek want to teach you to play! It will be Fun" jacky smiled as Derek gave me a 'duh' look - like it was no problem. 

"you guys are the best  !" I said as Ronnie started to speak. 

"now ! The best was saved for last" Ronnie winked at me and handed me a narrow but big rectangular box and a smaller more square one but still significantly big. 

I opened the smaller one first smiling from ear to ear. I tore it slowly and smiled as I revealed a new lens for my camera, I let out a gasp.

"Its a fisheye lens, I thought you'd would have a lot of fun with it." he said nervously . I smiled and kissed his cheek as he sat next to me bouncing his leg up and down wanting me to open the next gift.

I tore it open and I wasn't prepared for how amazing this gift was. It was a new Mac book pro laptop, with all the programs a photographer could ever want. 

"Ronnie! This is too much" I said holding my hand to my mouth covering it from hanging open. 

"No don't even worry about it! You deserve it for putting up with all of us, you really enjoy photography and I want you to enjoy it to the fullest !" he explained as the boys agreed.

"thank you so much guys, I love it all! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday! Now let's all have some cake!" I shouted as the boys all ran towards the cake hastily taking a slice for one another.  Me and Ronnie were alone for a moment and I felt his eyes on me. 

"I have another present" He broke the silence sliding me a white filled Baggie. He smiled devilishly as I quickly snorted as much off my finger as I could. how does he always have drugs to give me? I wondered as than brought me a piece of came on a plastic plate.
 
"happy birthday Nessa" he smiled as I took a bite.today has been perfect. 

By time we all settled down and started getting tired from the day I was just oozing with excitement to play with my new gifts, especially Ronnie's, speaking of Ronnie, he had a permanent  smile on his Gorgeous face.

"I love that I can make you smile like that" Ronnie said hugging me and placing a tender kiss on my forehead. 

We were laying in the back room, Ronnie had just done four lines and I had done the same. We were feeling good. I was laying down with the new laptop across my thighs. I was playing around with it learning the video programs and editing software, it was amazing. It had a card reader in the side so I could upload my pictures easily, id never run out of space now ! 

"Ronnie this gift is absolutely amazing, thank you. " I said for the hundredth time and as he laughed nuzzling into my neck.

"Baby, stop thanking me, I just want you to be happy" he cooed 

"awww ronniekins you know I'm always happy when I'm with you" my words caused him to smile even more

"Are you now?" Ronnie replied shutting my laptop and placing it on the table closest to us and slowly climbing on top of me and hovering above my face.

He touched his nose to mine and kissed me deeply, he was straddling me and had swept his tongue on my lips for me to let him in . We were making out passionately as the bus started moving. 

Ronnie ran his hands up my shirt gently pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. I started unzipping his pangs and sliding them off of him with my feet. We were hurriedly losing all our clothing. We craved each others skin, the feeling we got from each other.   

I was only in my panties now, my bra has long been gone and Ronnie was fully naked on top of me. He trailed kisses from my jaw to my belly button, he was gentle, more gentle then he's ever been with me. 

He slid my panties off and put a condom on and he slowly entered me causing me to let out a moan of excitement. He smiled. He kissed at my neck and massaged my breast as he continued his slow pace. This was different but I loved it. 

I felt my orgasim building up inside me as Ronnie kept his slow but powerful pace, I was constantly moaning his name and I kept with his rhythm, he could tell I was close as he bit my neck lightly and crashed his lips to mine just as we climaxed together. 

We lay side by side, he grabbed my hand in his panting. He brought my hand to his face and kissed my knuckles and placed my palm on his heart. Both hands on mine now. 

His heart was racing and I felt his chest rise and fall rapidly, I turned to see Ronnie staring at me.

"Nessa, your so beautiful..." He looked over my body and lingered on my eyes. 

what is that look in his eyes? He has never looked at me with such fondness. 

My eyes widened as I realized, me and the notorious Ronnie Radke, had just made love.