My Heart Has Lost All Hope

I woke up in my apartment the next morning, with my entire body in pain and the smell of blood in the air, A typical morning on nights like last nights. I got up and went to the bathroom and stared at my self in the mirror for a little while, I had slept half the say away, It was nearly 5pm. My long obnoxiously bright red hair with blonde underneath was in countless knots and all over the place, The bags beneath my blue eyes were so heavy and dark that I looked like I had two black eyes and that I was paler then I normally am, normally Im a ghost, and the dried blood under my nose was a reminder of my self medication of the night before.

I jumped in the shower to clean my self up, when I had enough of the warm shower falling over my aching body and my hair was no longer in tangles that it wast out time to get out and decide what I was going to do for tonight. I sat down on my bed in my bright blue towel and saw the VIP passes that Ronnie gave me last night after our strange conversation. The time of the show read 7pm. I had an hour to get there in time.

I threw on electric blue leggings that were practically see through on, a white V neck dress that barely covered my ass and showed more cleavage then you could imagine, and my leather bomber jacket that only hung slightly below my breasts. I curled my hair and put on heavy eyeliner and cover up to hide the massive hangover that I was feeling from the cocaine. I looked good for a drug addict, I was Fit, not to skinny I had SOME meat on my bones, and my face was full, I could hide my addiction very well, I had to.

I snatched the passes up along with my keys and headed to venue where I would see Ronnie again, For some reason I was nervous and jittery like I had just done a line... The very thought of Ronnie made me crave my high, made me crave more of him and his mystery.

I made my way to get a taxi so I could make it across town in time to make the show before it starts, I was dying to see him before he commanded the entire room, before every girl in the room was lusting after him as much as I was - but I lusted him in a different way, I wanted to know his story, why he was so bold, arrogant, and interested in me and my habits. Why he even had the same habits as me.

I get to the venue Its and open floor that could fit easily a thousand screaming fans and then seats behind them to fit more, It was insane that his band was the headliner and that he would soon be on that massive stage . wait... I would be on that massive stage watching, and waiting...

"Vanessa? I turn my head to see the same bouncer from the night before , he waves for me to follow him backstage. we go under the stage and upon coming up I see Ronnie, shirtless, in nothing but a pair of black pants and converse. He looks up and smiles at me.

"Im glad you decided to come Vanessa" He comes over and wraps his arm around my waist, leading me over to a room where the rest of his band stand practicing for the show that started in just a few minutes.

"Well, what can I say, you peeked my interest as well, I want to know more about you, you seem to know so much about me already" He smiled as I interrogated him he was very full of himself, but I cant blame him, he was absolutly stunning.

"there will be plenty of time for that after the show, your coming on an adventure with us, were gonna party 'rockstar' style tonight" He smirked making air quotes as he said "rockstar"

An adventure with Ronnie radke and his band, I can handle this.