My Heart Has Lost All Hope

"Vanessa..." He looked around as if he was trying to find a way out of this situation. why?

"Look, Ill just go then Ronnie, I'm sorry I wasn't your best whore." I scoffed slamming my whiskey down and throwing the cigarette in it, I started for the door but I heard him sigh and shuffle towards me. I wanted to get out of here.... I didn't want to listen to him.

I felt his hand on my wrist, He has a gentle touch, which is surprising considering what just happened. I didn't want to turn to face him, I was disappointed with myself...with my decisions. I Don't think things through when I have a craving.

"Vanessa, where are you going?" He pleaded, I swear this man has more mood swings then I do.

"Does it matter to you? I snapped, I felt his grip loosen, He was letting me go.

I walked through the club, and found my jacket near the stripper I had my way with earlier tonight, She smiled when she saw me and waved as I left her side, I wanted to get out of here.

I made my way through the brisk Nevada air, it was surprisingly cold tonight, or maybe that's just me coming down? Who knows, all I know is I had no where to go, I didn't want to go home, I always felt trapped there with all the bad memories. I'm not from here, I moved here shortly after getting my degree, I loved the Vegas atmosphere and all the opportunities I had when I first arrived. I never thought I would be where I am today, I was smart, I had dreams. I always followed my dreams, but I never thought Id be selling everything I loved and giving up everything I loved just for these drugs. I needed a way out but I didn't have one.

"hey where are you going pretty lady?" shit. I don't know where that voice came from.

I picked up my speed heading to the first place I could think of that was populated, I was far from the strip by this time, So this wasn't an easy task. I looked frantically as I heard footsteps behind me. They were getting closer, and closer to me.

"Where do you think your going?" I heard the voice say to me, why me? why TONIGHT? I was already in bad enough shape I didn't need this too.

I ran trying to find a way to back track to the strip, I've been running a lot lately. I don't think I can out run this person. I was exhausted, I was high and I was starting to panic what could they want with me?

I felt a hand grab my elbow, oh no. They caught up with me. I was turned around looking into the eyes of a man, he looked familiar...

"I saw you in the club, with him." he said, What? This is about Ronnie? Its like my whole life lately had been about this man!

"Well that's none of your business." I yelled trying to escape his grasp, but he was strong and grabbing me so hard I couldn't feel my arms anymore.

"Its definitely my business" He seethed spitting on me as he did so. what did this man want?

He slammed me against the wall he had me cornered at, and punched me in the stomach so hard I instantly threw up. He smiled as he did so, I was going to be raped, or worse killed by a complete stranger all because I wasn't smart enough to stay at the club. He continued with his assault he punched me in the face repeatedly. I could already feel my lips swelling and my eye close shut. He let me go and I fell to the concrete. Hitting my jaw hard.

"This is a message for Ronnie.Tell him he owes me my money or things will get a lot worse for him." He said to me, tossing me a card and then he just left me, didnt wait for an answer - he left me there in pain. I'm grateful that I wasn't raped or worse by this man. But why did he look familiar to me?

Why would he do this to me though? I've known Ronnie for two days... I wasn't his girlfriend or anything. All I know is Ronnie is bad news... But I couldn't stay away from him. I was drawn to him in a way I couldn't understand. I NEEDED him. especially after tonight. I never felt an escape like that before in my entire life.

My thoughts were interuppted by the immense pain I had in my stomach, I felt my self dry heaving in the street, trying to crawl to anywhere, for help. I needed a hospital, but I needed to know what was on that card. I could barely see anything my eye was swelled shut and I was starting to get a pain in my head I've never felt before, words cant describe the pain I was feeling. I reached the card it looked like a playing card, felt like a playing card, but I couldn't make out the image on it. I couldn't keep my eyes open as I made it to the streets where I saw a limo pass.

Could it really be who I think it is?

I heard the screech of the limo coming to a hault. I heard the door slam and countless sets of feet rushing out of the vehicle. I felt a pair of hands around my waist from behind me. It hurt but I was glad to feel something other then this pain on my body. I heard voices but couldn't make out who they were, they sounded familiar.

The last thing I remember was being picked up and looking at a peach and black blurr, as I felt blood run down from my nose to my mouth and tasting that familiar tang of iron.