Fix You

aimee.

I slowly opened my eyes the next morning to hear soft sounds of cooing. I looked over to see Louis, Zayn, and Niall standing in the doorway with huge grins on their faces. I screamed, pulling the blankets up to cover me as they laughed. I was going to get up and shut the door, but I felt an arm tighten around my waist. I looked down to see Liam’s head lying on my stomach as he let out a long groan.

“Aimee love, what’s wrong?” I flushed as I remembered what had happened last night. The look in his eyes, him saying he loved me, all of it rushed back. Finally I turned back to the boys in the doorway as their smiles turned into near cartoonish grins.

“We’ll let you two lovebirds get dressed.” Louis said, shutting the door. At the sound of Louis’ voice Liam shot up before promptly groaning and plopping back down. He pressed his hands to his face.

“Fuck.” He muttered between his fingers. I blushed as I slowly leaned over him, pulling his hands away and giving him a small kiss. He flushed as I pulled back, locking my eyes with his. But deep down I was having a small heart attack. What were we going to do when he had to leave? He admitted he loved me, but could whatever this was between us really work? But right now, in this little moment, it didn’t matter. I felt a small smile form on my face as I looked at him, my beautiful, beautiful Liam.

“We should go.” I said finally. I started to get up, but he pulled me right back on top of him.

“I think the lads can wait fifteen, twenty minutes.” He said, running his hands down my back.

“Maybe some other time.” I said, wincing. My stitches were not very happy with me right now and Liam could immediately tell.

“Right, I keep forgetting that.”

“Welcome to the club.” I joked. He gave me another small kiss before he let go and I quickly got dressed. He pulled on his boxers and his shirt, figuring it didn’t matter since the guys already knew. He gave me another small kiss on the forehead before he walked out. As soon as the door was closed I felt the tears sting my eyes.
I knew I loved Liam now more than ever; there was no denying it. But what the Hell was I going to do? He had a life to go back to, fame, money, the press, he couldn’t keep me around and we both knew it. I felt the first tear hit my dress as I realized that no matter how much we loved each other, we would never be able to be together. I pressed my face into my hands. I could feel my heart breaking and it was killing me.

I felt a hand on my back and looked up to see Harry beside me, stroking my back. I knew he didn’t really care for me, so I was surprised at the gesture. He offered me a tissue and I gladly took it, trying to clean up my face. But I just started crying all over again and hugged Harry, trying to drown out my sobs into his chest so no one would hear me.

“It’s alright love.” He whispered, hugging me back.

“I don’t want him to leave.” I admitted.

“He doesn’t want to leave you either, but he’ll have to eventually.”

“I know.”

“But you know what Aimee?” I looked up into his massive green eyes.

“What?”

“For now you two do have each other. Take advantage of it while you can.” I just hugged him again, never wanting to let him, Liam, any of them go. But Harry was right, if they only had a few weeks, days, hours even left together, I was going to be with him as much as I could.

“Thank you Harry.” I managed to choke out after I had reigned in my tears. He simply nodded.

“Now, let’s go find out who you are.”

The days started to blend together after that. We would search all day, no one would believe us, and then we would come home. Liam slept with me every night now, but we didn’t have sex. Mostly because with all the walking my stitches were too painful for us to, but also because most nights I just wanted to hold him. I wanted to remember the way his arm tightened around my waist, how he fit so perfectly against my back, the feeling of his warm breath on the back of my neck. I held those memories more dearly than those I had forgotten. I didn’t remember anything new either; it was all just like a dream.

Then it ended.

Day nineteen, apartment five hundred forty-six.

5ème Avenue Appartements.

The moment I saw the building I felt like there was a rock in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t have a flashback, but I was having serious déjà vu. Liam immediately realized what was going on and looked at the others.

“Maybe we should call it a day guys.” He said quickly, but I shook my head. Both of us knew this day had to come eventually, and I wasn’t going to live in the dark any more.

Even if it meant losing the man I loved.

The others started to follow, but Liam held them back.

“I think it should, it should just be us lads. No offense.”

“None taken.” Harry said. “Good luck.”

Liam took my hand in his and we walked inside, my head held high as we made our way to the front desk. The man there smiled at me.

“Bonjour mademoiselle Renée, comment avez-vous été?” (Hello miss Renee, how have you been?) I felt my heart drop. This was it; this was really where I lived.

“Vous me connaissez?” (You know me?)

“Bien sûr, je sais que vous mademoiselle Renée, vous avez vécu ici presque un an maintenant.” (Of course I know you Miss Renee, you've lived here almost a year now) I turned around to Liam.

“This is it.” I whispered. I pulled my key out of my pocket. “Est-ce la clé de mon appartement?” (Is this the key to my apartment?)

“Oui, c'est, salle 203, tout comme vous l'avez laissé” (Yes it is, room 203, just like you left it.)

“Cela va vous paraître étrange, mais quel est mon nom? Mon nom complet?” (This is going to sound strange, but what’s my name? My full name?)

“April Renée, mademoiselle vous sentez-vous bien?” (April Renee, miss are you feeling all right?) I just slowly shook my head, trying not to cry in front of this man I apparently knew.

“Room 203, vous avez dit?” (room 203 you said?)

“Oui.” (Yes.)

“Merci.” (Thank you.) I said hollowly. I turned back to Liam. “Let’s go.” I said, choking back my tears. To think just a few short weeks ago the idea of getting my memory back would have made me dance or jump for joy. Now I wanted nothing more than to pretend we never saw this place.

“April Renee.” Liam said quietly. “Is that your name?” I nodded.

“I like Aimee more.” I whispered. He put his arm around me.

“Me too.” He said as we made our way up the stairs and watched the numbers get smaller and smaller. Finally there it was, looming in front of us. I knew that on the other side of the door lied my past, but if I went through I would lose the only future I wanted. Finally I put the key in the lock.

It was a perfect fit.

I couldn’t get my hand to stop shaking as it held the knob. I tried to blame it on the cold, but Liam knew better as he placed his soft hand over mine and we turned the handle together. I groped the wall until I finally found the switch and flipped it on, flooding the room with light. Liam closing the door as we both stepped inside.

It was a lot bigger than I’d expected, but it definitely wasn’t Liam and I’s hotel room. I saw the old, beaten piano sitting in the corner and was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. I sat down on the bench and gently touched the white and ebony pattern. I could feel Liam sit beside me as my fingers greeted the keys like an old friend. I looked over to him, locking our eyes as my lips just simply started moving and I sang to him.

“I survived
A dreadful accident
In the car crash of the century
My shattered hopes
Collapsed on cold cement
But in the back of the ambulance
I never felt so content

A high-speed collision gave a new sense of sight
To me
And now my vision can render the scene
A blurry image of wreckage and roadside debris
Happiness returned to me
Through a grave emergency

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da

I tossed and turned
In sterile apathy
Until the violets
Arrived for me
The bouquet burst
And blossoms filled the room
And the place got smaller as they grew taller
And taught me to bloom

A high-speed collision gave a new sense of sight
To me
And now my vision can render the scene
A blurry image of wreckage and roadside debris
Happiness returned to me
Through a grave emergency.”

Liam looked at me for a long time before he picked up the sheet music and started to sing with me.

“The curtains decayed
The daylight poured in
I was never afraid
Of the darkness again
My burns were third-degree
But I'd been set free
Because grace had finally found its way
To me

A high-speed collision gave a new sense of sight
To me
And now my vision can render the scene
A blurry image of wreckage and roadside debris
Happiness returned to me
Happiness returned to me
Happiness returned to me
Through a grave emergency

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da
Through a grave emergency
Da da da da
Da da da da
Happiness returned to me
Through a grave emergency.”

I felt a tear run down my face. I remembered. I remembered everything. My name was April Renee; I was eighteen years old and in Paris for to attend Sorbonne Nouvelle. I was studying to be a lyricist with a Major in Music Theory. I had been playing piano since I was ten and I was from Tacoma, Washington. My father died from a stroke when I was sixteen, I had two brothers, Chris and Roger, and my mother never remarried. I looked back at Liam and, despite everything, I smiled.

“Liam.” I whispered. “I remember.” I felt more tears roll down my face as I gripped him to me. “I remember everything.” He slowly ran his hands up my back, gripping me to him desperately as I told him everything.

“Good.” He whispered. “It’s about bloody time.” We both chuckled. But I pulled back, looking at him.

“How soon will you have to go back?” I asked.

“Probably the first flight we can get.” He admitted sadly. I teared up again, hugging him tightly. “What if we say you didn’t remember everything?” He begged. “Aimee, I don’t want to leave you.” I pulled back, looking at him.

“You have to.” I whispered. I saw the tears in his eyes and kissed him, both of us trying to forget that this was probably the last time we’d be alone together.

He kissed me back, but it was a sad kiss, the kind you give someone before they go off to war or when they’re on their death bed. He quickly scooped me up in his arms and carried me to my small bedroom, setting me down on the comforter. We both quickly stripped, needing to be as close as possible. There were tears in our eyes as we pressed Liam laid over me one last time. I tried to memorize every feature of his handsome face, desperate not to forget him as he slowly pulled us together.

“Liam.” I murmured as he cupped my face with one of his impossibly soft hands. “I’ll always love you.” He was fighting back tears as he gently pressed our lips together.

“I’ll always love you too, and I will never forget you.” I started crying again as I pulled his lips back to mine, trying desperately to forget the cold, harsh reality that waited for us just outside those doors. In here we were lovers, we were friends, and we would always be together. But the moment we stepped into the snow it would all come crashing down.

I loved Liam, but he needed someone who deserved him, someone like Danielle had been. He needed a beautiful, famous woman who wouldn’t always just be his rebound. He needed a girl who was perfect, flawless, a girl that just wasn’t me. Liam pulled back; looking into my eyes and making me feel that spark that I’d first experienced when he kissed me on top of the Eiffel Tower. He both finished simultaneously, looking into each other’s eyes like that and with all these emotions I knew we wouldn’t last too long, but I didn’t want it to be over.

We both quickly got dressed, lacing our fingers together as we made our way outside into the snow.

Our hearts shattering.