Fix You

aimee.

The rest of our apartment hunt was a bust. Well, day one was out of the way. Just eighteen more days until I hopefully was reminded of who I was. As Liam and I walked back into our room I just plopped down on the couch, pressing my face into my hands. Why could I only remember the simplest things? Sure, I played the piano, that was it, oh and my dad, well the guy we thought was my dad, was dead. That definitely helped. How many pianists in Paris had lost a parent? I was willing to bet a Hell of a lot. I felt a tear roll down my face. Why did it all seem so damn hopeless? And if I remembered who I was I was going to lose Liam. I just couldn’t win.

Speaking of which, I felt him sit down next to me and start to rub my back. “It’s all right Aimee.” He said.

“Not it’s not.” I said. “No one even believes me. For all we know we passed my apartment already and they just didn’t tell me it was mine.” He sighed and just hugged me. I pressed my head into his chest, reminded of when he was there for me in the hospital. He couldn’t leave me; he was the only thing I could remember. He ran one of his hands up my back and started stroking my hair as I looked up at him. “I don’t want you to leave.” I whispered.

“I already told you, I’m not going anywhere until you remember anything.” He said. I bit my lip, wanting to tell him that even when I did get my memories back I never wanted him out of my sight. I always felt so safe and warm in his arms and I just never wanted to leave. “Aimee, it’s only the first day, we’re going to find your apartment, I promise.” He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and I wanted to kiss him again so badly that my lips were throbbing at the mere thought. But I sighed; I knew that I had probably already gotten him in trouble with the kiss in the café.

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind when his phone rang. He pressed his lips together and answered.

“This is Liam.” The phone was loud enough that I could hear the other end as he kept his arm around me.

“Liam, what the Hell happened to ‘I’m just going to help her find her memory’? The fans are pissed mate!”

“Haz, calm down.”

“I’m not going to calm down! Louis and Niall love having your solos, but your little section of the fan base is wondering if you’ve left the band for good.”

“I haven’t left the band.” He insisted.

“Really? Because this girl seems more important than us.”

“You just don’t understand Haz.” He said, looking at me. “She’s…” He smiled at me. “She’s incredible.”

“What happened to ‘she’s just a lost cat’?”

“Like I said, it’s hard to explain.”

“Let me talk to her.”

“What?”

“I said let me talk to her. If it’s so hard to explain then let me see for myself.” He looked at me.

“Haz wants to talk to you.” I sighed and gestured for the phone. “Are you sure?”

“If it’ll help you be in less trouble, then yes.” I said. He handed me the phone and leaned in to hear the conversation. “Hello?”

“So you’re the little tot Liam’s gone crazy for.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. He’s just been helping me find my memory and-”

“What, by exploring your mouth with his tongue love?” Whoever Haz was he sounded really upset. “Are you just doing this so Liam will stick around? You do realize when you remember everything he’ll have to come back-”

“Look.”I snapped. “I didn’t just do this to make Liam stay. He’s just a nice guy okay? He’s helping me and I’m never going to be able to thank him enough for that. In the café today, that was my fault. I remembered something and I got so excited that I just-”

“You kissed in a café too?” He demanded. I looked at Liam, both of our eyes growing wide as he opened his laptop and started typing. It only took about five seconds before he fell back against the couch.

“Fuck.” He muttered. I looked on the screen to see a photo of Liam kissing me at the Eiffel tower, our bodies pressed together as fireworks lit up the sky.

“How did they get that?” I muttered.

“Someone must have been hiding on the stairs.” He said.

“What do you mean how did someone get that?” Haz said. “What concerns me is that he’s too busy snogging you to hurry up and get back to his job.”

“Haz sounds kind of like a dick.” I muttered.

“I heard that.” Haz growled. Liam and I chuckled.

“He kind of is.” Liam admitted. “When he’s not being a complete man whore.”

“Heard that too.” Haz said.

“Man whore?” I asked, both of us grinning at the idea of how angry whoever Haz was must be getting.

“Yeah, if you’d have saved him he probably would just keep shagging you until you got your memories back.”

“I know what you’re trying to do here, but I’m not going to just hang up.” Haz growled.

“What does he look like?” I asked, imagining an angry looking teenage boy.

“Well I don’t know, Haz, do you want to Skype us or something?”

“Yeah! I want to see Liam’s new girlfriend!” I heard someone say faintly in the background.

“Yeah, open up Skype.” Another voice said.

“Louis, Zayn, Niall, come on guys!” Finally Haz sighed and hung up as Liam opened up a program and I saw four teenage boys looking at us. One of them had these stunning blue eyes and a gorgeous grin. The next had blonde hair and an adorable boyish smile. The third had black hair and plugs, he looked like a model, even with glasses and messed up hair. The fourth looked really pissed, with curly hair and bright green eyes.

“That’s Haz.” Liam said, pointing to the green eyed one and continuing down. “Zayn,” the model one, “Niall,” the one with the cute grin, “and Lou,” the one with the bright blue eyes. He smiled. “Guys, this is Aimee.”

“So you have a name?” Haz asked. We both sighed.

“No, that’s just what everyone’s been calling me.” I said.

“Oh my gosh, will you push me out of the way of a car?” The blonde one, Niall asked.

“I would definitely stay in France for you.” Louis agreed, smiling.

“Great. She’s pretty, but you need to hurry up and find out who she is.” Haz said.

“Ignore him, he’s just pissed he’s not in Liam’s place right now.” The beautiful one, Zayn said.

“So you’re an American?” Niall asked.

“We think so.” I said.

“What else have you found out?” Louis asked, his blue eyes were almost unnatural they were so pretty. I could see why girls all over the world were in love with these guys.

“I can play the piano, I went to the Paris concert hall when I was little, and some guy we think is related to me is dead.” I said. “That’s it.”

“That’s it!?” Haz demanded.

“We’re looking for her apartment right now, we have the key but we haven’t been having much luck.”

“Well I think Haz had a good idea, bring her on tour with us through the states. If she’s an American then maybe someone will recognize her.” Niall said.

“I know exactly why you and Haz want her on tour.” Liam joked, hugging me awkwardly and shoving my face into his chest. “And it’s not going to happen.”

“Can I breathe please?” I asked.

“Sorry.” He let go and I smiled, looking back at the screen.

“Now you’re just flaunting her.” Niall pouted.

“Well maybe you should walk into traffic more.” Zayn teased.

“Look.” We turned back to Haz. “I hate to be the one to bring the cold reality to everyone, but she’s in France and Liam has tours and such to do. Hurry up and find her apartment and then get your ass back here. Aimee, it was nice to meet you.” Then he reached up and must have closed the program because the screen went dark on their end. Liam sighed.

“He’s right.” I said finally. He just looked at me.

“I know.” He whispered. “I just wish he wasn’t.” I blushed.

“What do you mean?”

“Aimee, these past few days with you have been… incredible. You’re one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.” I smiled.

“I think you’re just saying that because I saved your life.”

“I’m not.” He promised, completely serious. I felt my heart start to speed up.

“What about Danielle?” I asked. “Liam, I’m not her.”

“And I couldn’t be happier about that.” He said, smiling at me. I swallowed nervously as he leaned towards me, but this time I didn’t fight it. If Liam did eventually have to leave me, then I wanted to be with him for as long as I could. He pressed his lips to mine and I could feel lighting running through my veins as I reached my hands around and started to run them through his hair. He roughly grabbed my hips and pulled me so I was straddling him, which caused me to break from our kiss to let out a little whimper of pain.

“I’m sorry.” I said, grabbing my side.

“Did I pull them? Jesus Aimee, I’m so sorry, I just forgot and-” I pressed my hand to his mouth and he stopped talking.

“It’s fine.” I shakily stood and stumbled into the bathroom, gripping my side. Jesus for just taking my appendix out and stopping some internal bleeding this really hurt. I pulled up my dress and saw that my stitches were an angry shade of red.

“Shit.” I muttered. I dropped my dress and turned to go get Liam, but he was right behind me.

“Is it bad?” He asked.

“Not really, nothing got pulled, it just hurts like Hell.” Liam saw the pain on my face and he hugged me.

“Jesus Aimee I’m so sorry. God I can’t even kiss you right.”

“No, that you were doing just fine.” I promised him, patting his shoulder. “I just need to stop being so delicate.” I winced as he helped me over to my bed, setting me down gently.

“Let me get you some ice.” He said. I swallowed nervously, remembering last night. He wouldn’t try anything if he knew I was in pain, right? I sighed. I would be willing to deal with it if he kissed me like that again. God it was so primal and animalistic the way he’d just pulled me onto him that it made me blush as I got up and quickly changed into boxers and a tee shirt.

Finally Liam came back in with two wadded up paper towels. “We didn’t have any ice, I’ll go down and get some, but this should help until I get back.” He quickly pulled up my shirt, setting the cold towels on my stitches, it felt a lot better.

“Liam.” I said as he turned to leave.

“Yes?” I smiled at him.

“I think you should have been a nurse.”

“And why’s that?”

“You can wake people from comas, make stitches stop hurting, I think you missed your calling.” I teased. He leaned in the doorway, biting back a smile.

“Or maybe it’s just the patient.” I blushed as he continued to smile. Finally he pushed himself up. “I’d better get you that ice.” I nodded as he left and I let out a long sigh. I quickly braided my hair to the side, wanting to get it out of my face as I laid back and softly touched my lips. Wow, why had I been putting that off so long? I could still feel his hands on my hips and blushed. God I really needed to get better faster. Liam said the doctor told him I should be completely healed in two to three weeks, but I didn’t think I could wait that long.

I might have to just pull my stitches.

I bit my lip, remembering Liam groaning my name this morning. God it had been so sexy, and to know that he was thinking about me just made it even better. But before I could dwell too long on my fantasies Liam came back in with two ice packs, bright red.

“What happened?” I asked, slowly sitting up.

“Um, ran into that bellhop again.” He said.

“Oh God, what did he say this time?”

“Well I asked him for two ice packs and he told me that nipples aren’t meant to be bitten.” I groaned.

“I really am starting to hate that guy.” I muttered.

“That makes two of us.” He agreed, walking over and lifting up my shirt again, setting the ice packs on top of my stitches. I smiled, that took a lot of the pain away. “God Aimee, I’m so sorry, I just…” He turned an even brighter shade of red. “I guess I got a little carried away.”

“Like I said, it was great, I’m just not, you know, in shape for that yet. I guess getting your appendix remoived does that.” Liam turned a bit pale and looked at the ground. “What?” I asked.

“Aimee, there’s something I haven’t told you yet.” He said quietly.

“Let me guess, you’re gay. Isn’t that just my luck-”

“Aimee, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” I said.

“Well, it’s not about me.” He sighed. “When you were hit by that car and your appendix ruptured it caused some major internal bleeding. In order to save you… the doctors…” He sat down on the edge of the bed and I moved so I sat next to him. I reached over, lacing our fingers together.

“Liam, you can tell me.”

“They had to remove your ovaries.” I blinked a few times, I knew that they did something important, but I couldn’t remember exactly what.

“So?” I asked.

“Aimee, you’re never going to be able to have kids.” I felt my heart drop.

“What?”

“You would have died if they didn’t.” He said. I pulled my hand back and just stared blankly at the wall. I was never going to be able to have a family? Ever? I pressed my face into my hands. Now not only did I have no past, I had no future. I could never be a mother, I could never hold something that was half of me and half of the man I loved in my arms. I felt hot tears stinging my eyes. “Aimee…”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I demanded.

“I didn’t quite know how to break it to you.”

“Well you didn’t do a very good job.” I said flatly. He reached out to touch me, but I flinched away. “Is that why you want in my pants so bad? You know you can’t knock me up?” I snapped.

“What? Aimee, you know that’s not why.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me until after you were about halfway into getting me naked?”

“Because if we were going to do that I wanted you to know so you didn’t freak out when you didn’t get your period or something.”

“Get out.” I said.

“Aimee, please just-”

“Get out Liam.” I said again. I couldn’t see him right now. I didn’t want to hear his beautiful voice and I couldn’t help but wonder what else he was hiding from me. He got up and walked out, closing the door behind him. I listened to him sigh before his angelic voice filled the hotel room.

“I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah ”

As he sang I felt my fingers start to move, playing the invisible keys as I closed my eyes and remembered sitting in the café with Liam, remembering how happy I had been that I had finally remembered something worthwhile. I pressed my head into my hands as his hauntingly beautiful voice kept going.

“Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah”

Why didn’t he just tell me? Why did he hide something that important from me for a whole week? What if we had had sex? Was he just planning on not telling me until I freaked out that I might be pregnant?

“Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah”

Maybe he was just trying to protect me. I mean, after everything else we’d been through today I bet he hadn’t really wanted to tack on ‘hey, by the way you’ll never be able to be a mother’. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

“There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah”

Liam had been with me through everything, that I couldn’t deny. And earlier, when he said that he wished Haz wasn’t right and that he could stay here with me. I blushed as I remembered him kissing me at the top of the tower. That wasn’t a ‘get in my pants now’ kiss. That was the kind of kiss you give someone you want to be with. I listened as he sang the last verse, my fingers started faintly dancing over an invisible piano again, desperate not to let go of the one thing I could remember.

“Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah”

I slowly got up and walked over to the door and opened it to see Liam teary eyed. He saw me and just wrapped his arms around me. “I should have told you sooner.” He said, kissing the top of me head. “Aimee, I’m so sorry, I just-” I looked up and hugged him back. I pulled back to see him a bit stunned.

“I can’t stay mad at you.” I admitted. “Not after everything you’ve done for me. I’m sorry I got mad at you. Let’s just… let’s forget it happened.” Liam just gripped me like I was the last thing he had in the world.

“Okay.” He pulled back and looked at me. I knew it might be a while before I could trust him again, but for now we had a lot of work to do.

“Well we’d better get to sleep, we’ve got another full day of apartment searching tomorrow.”

“Right.” He said. I nodded.

“Goodnight Liam.”

“Goodnight ma ange.”