Love Yourself So No One Has To
theres somethings you should know
I couldn't believe Alex said he loved me. No one has ever liked me let alone loved me. There were still some big things he didn't know about me, but i couldn't kid myself I loved him to. It was happening so fast, but when you know, you know.
"Alex, I love you too."
He pulled me in for a kiss that sent electricity through my body. He sighed with relief.
I should tell him, now, just do it.
"Well you know what this means.."he said lifting his eyebrows "we can fuck."
"You did not just say that!" I laughed.
"Kidding, kidding, kind of" he smirked. Just tell him. Its fine, he loves you.
"Umm Alex, since we're being all open and stuff right now, theres some things you should know." I said looking at my feet.
"what's up babe? you can tell me anything." he said wrapping his arm around me.
I took a deep breathe.
"Well when i was 15 my sister committed suicide. She was my best friend and loosing her so suddenly, well, it kinda of made me depressed." I couldn't stop i had to tell him everything before i could convince myself otherwise. " I've been dealing with it since then. My biggest escape is music, which is why i love it so much and why its my dream to be able to make music to help other people." I took another breath and rolled up my sleeve exposing my scars. "This is my only other escape."
Alex looked down at my wrist with tears in his eyes. He grabbed my hand and kissed my scars.
"Babe, I'm glad you told me. I want to be there for you when you feel down. When you come undone, i want to bring you back again." I started to cry. No guy has ever been there for me and now this perfect guy was sitting here telling me everything i've always wanted to hear and he was mine. How'd I get so lucky?
"Well you should know too, my brother committed suicide when i was 12." he whispered.
"Alex I'm so sorry."
"No it's fine, because now we have each other." He leaned in and kissed me. I have never been so in love with anyone in my life.
After a couple hours we headed back to the bus.
"Where have you guys been?" Jack asked wiggling his eyebrows "having some fun in L.A?"
"No more fun than you were having with yourself." I teased throwing a pillow at him.
"So what's the plan for the rest of the day?" Alex asked.
"I think we are going to head over to broadway and find a bar." Rian said.
"Awesome" I needed a fun night out.
We found a sick bar with decent music.
"wanna dance?" Alex asked me, sticking out his hand.
"Sure, but you should know, I'm no dancer."
We got to the floor and life of the party by forever the sickest kids started playing.
"you're not a bad dancer!' Alex yelled over the loud music.
"Thats cuz I've had about 5 shots!" I laughed.
"Well in that case.." Alex said pulling me to the door. He hailed down a cab and we got inside.
"where are we going?" I asked.
"Back to the bus before the rest of them." Alex said looking at me. He grabbed my face kissing me as i ran my finger through his hair. He opened the cab door as we stumbled out and onto the bus.
We fell on the couch with me on top of him.
"I love you ." he said as he ripped off my dress.
"Alex, I love you too."
He pulled me in for a kiss that sent electricity through my body. He sighed with relief.
I should tell him, now, just do it.
"Well you know what this means.."he said lifting his eyebrows "we can fuck."
"You did not just say that!" I laughed.
"Kidding, kidding, kind of" he smirked. Just tell him. Its fine, he loves you.
"Umm Alex, since we're being all open and stuff right now, theres some things you should know." I said looking at my feet.
"what's up babe? you can tell me anything." he said wrapping his arm around me.
I took a deep breathe.
"Well when i was 15 my sister committed suicide. She was my best friend and loosing her so suddenly, well, it kinda of made me depressed." I couldn't stop i had to tell him everything before i could convince myself otherwise. " I've been dealing with it since then. My biggest escape is music, which is why i love it so much and why its my dream to be able to make music to help other people." I took another breath and rolled up my sleeve exposing my scars. "This is my only other escape."
Alex looked down at my wrist with tears in his eyes. He grabbed my hand and kissed my scars.
"Babe, I'm glad you told me. I want to be there for you when you feel down. When you come undone, i want to bring you back again." I started to cry. No guy has ever been there for me and now this perfect guy was sitting here telling me everything i've always wanted to hear and he was mine. How'd I get so lucky?
"Well you should know too, my brother committed suicide when i was 12." he whispered.
"Alex I'm so sorry."
"No it's fine, because now we have each other." He leaned in and kissed me. I have never been so in love with anyone in my life.
After a couple hours we headed back to the bus.
"Where have you guys been?" Jack asked wiggling his eyebrows "having some fun in L.A?"
"No more fun than you were having with yourself." I teased throwing a pillow at him.
"So what's the plan for the rest of the day?" Alex asked.
"I think we are going to head over to broadway and find a bar." Rian said.
"Awesome" I needed a fun night out.
We found a sick bar with decent music.
"wanna dance?" Alex asked me, sticking out his hand.
"Sure, but you should know, I'm no dancer."
We got to the floor and life of the party by forever the sickest kids started playing.
"you're not a bad dancer!' Alex yelled over the loud music.
"Thats cuz I've had about 5 shots!" I laughed.
"Well in that case.." Alex said pulling me to the door. He hailed down a cab and we got inside.
"where are we going?" I asked.
"Back to the bus before the rest of them." Alex said looking at me. He grabbed my face kissing me as i ran my finger through his hair. He opened the cab door as we stumbled out and onto the bus.
We fell on the couch with me on top of him.
"I love you ." he said as he ripped off my dress.