Steal My Soul

I could feel my legs giving out as I ran up the stairs that led to the lookout point. There was more than likely going to be people up there smiling, laughing, and just being happy in general. That was fine; I’d make them all leave so I could cry in peace. I stumbled on one of the stairs as I felt my legs begin to wobble with the strain to keep going. I kept myself from falling by throwing my hands out to the steps in front of me so I could keep going. As soon as I hit the top stair, I quickly glanced around ready to scream at anyone to leave if I had to. Only there was no one there. I figured with it being fall, almost winter, there would be couples here cuddling and kissing on one another, but there wasn’t anybody. Relief swept through me that I could just be alone without anyone there to judge me for, no doubt, the inhuman wails that would emit from my throat.

My knees buckled from the exhaustion of running all the way here and up four flights of steep, stone stairs. I felt the coolness of the concrete seep through the fabric of my jeans forcing goosebumps to rise all along my legs. Hoarse, heavy breaths emitted from between my lips; the cool, autumn wind scratching at the back of my throat. I threw an arm over my mouth as I harsh cough left my throat wracking my entire body. It felt difficult to breathe from the burning sensation washing throughout my lungs and up my esophagus at the moment. The chill wind wasn’t helping the situation either. I shivered underneath my jacket as the breeze cooled off the beads of sweat forming on my body. Running in the evening in the fall probably wasn’t exactly the best idea, but I hadn’t been thinking clearly at the time. Not that I was exactly thinking very clearly now.

I allowed my head to fall forward as a dizzy, nauseating feeling crept into the pit of my stomach forcing me to dry heave. Sitting on the cold concrete wasn’t helping the feeling, so I wrapped my fingers around the black fencing and stood on shaking legs. I allowed myself to stand there for a few moments to gather strength back into my body before cautiously stepping further out onto the platform. I wearily stumbled over to the lookout and rested my arms on the top of the fencing to gaze out at the view of the mountains and field of dying flowers.

My heart pounded quickly and hard beneath my chest, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the running or what I had witnessed with Luc. Tears trickled hot down my face causing my numb cheeks to tingle and cool with the wind. My loose, brown curls whipped about my face as I thought about everything that had happened. I had stupidly thought that things were starting to look up considering everything that had happened in the past week with Michael showing up and whatnot. Once more I believed Luc’s whispered words of kindness. I fell for those lips that would curl into the most annoying smirk when he knew he was right; I fell for those icy blue orbs that always seemed to sparkle with some kind of mischief; I fell for those warm, muscled arms that would wrap me in a kind, strong embrace promising protection; I fell for those sweet, whispered nothings that, to any other person, would have been obvious they were beautiful lies.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as more hot tears fell like salty rivers down my face dripping off my chin to splash onto the back of my hands as I gripped the railing tightly with my fingers. I felt so stupid. I should have expected something like this to happen, but couldn’t he have done it sooner? Before I fell in love with his arrogant face? Even a different day would have been better. A strangled sob forced its way out of my throat as I felt my heart become suffocated with the twisting pain that could only be felt with betrayal from someone you loved so unconditionally.

I peeked open my eyes only to see a blurred view of the mountains through the tears that were welled up in the bottom of my eyes. However, even through the watery pearls, I could see the flash of sparkle that came from my ring as it reflected the rays of the setting sun. My eyes dropped to that gem as all the memories of that night swept like a tidal wave into the forefront of my mind. That had been the first night I met his parents; it had been the second time we kissed. The night he asked me to marry him…had been the first time I saw Luc act so human. He had been quivering with nervousness and even sweating slightly on his brow. Luc had never looked more handsome than he had in that one moment.

That memory of him became shattered as a new one busted through and replaced it. It was the memory of him lip-locked with that whore of a succubus, but did I honestly expect any different? I glanced away thinking over my own question. Yes. I did expect things to be different with him. I thought maybe there might be some hope I could have changed his ways, but I had only been trying to convince myself to dream of the impossible. Something my parents had told me multiple times as a child would never lead to anything good in my life. That dreaming of things that could never be would only make me naïve and how right they were.

Angry at the memory that burned fresh in my mind, I slipped the one-of-a-kind ring off my finger and examined it under the sun’s diminishing light. I couldn’t take it anymore; I couldn’t take the constant stress and worry of never knowing what Luc might be doing in Hell while I was here living my life. I was tired of feeling my heart ache each night as I lay in bed while I yearned for him to hold me, kiss me, to just be near me. I could no longer be okay with the fact that he would never come to love me…the way I loved him. All this pain…it just…it wasn’t worth it anymore. Not really. Maybe it never was and I was only kidding myself thinking that anything we went through would all be worth it in the end because, hey, at least I’d have Luc, but maybe Michael was right. Luc and I were never going to work out in the end anyways because our destinies—our fates—had never meant to cross. I was created…I was born to be with Michael and to have him love me the way Luc would never be able to.

The cool autumn wind blew across my trembling body drying the trails of tears on my face. I ground my teeth together as I curled my fingers tightly around the ring; the edges of the gem digging into the soft skin of my palm. I lifted the hand that held the engagement ring high above my head as I twisted my body back a bit preparing to toss it far out over the ledge. Goodbye, Luc…

My hand swung forward ready to throw away the ring and hopefully the memories it held along with it, but a larger, warmer hand stopped me. Their fingers wrapped securely around my fist keeping me from releasing my hold on the ring.

“Leighra,” that deep, English voice I had trained myself to recognize anywhere spoke softly as if afraid I might turn and run if he spoke any louder. It was the sadness mixed with relief in that voice that kept me from yanking my hand away and running. It was also my own damned curiosity to know why. Why did he betray me? Why did he lie to me? Why did the thought of leaving him hurt even more than the fact that he had betrayed me?

I jerked my hand out of his gentle grasp and dropped both my arms to hang stiffly at my sides. I refused to turn around and show him the blatant evidence that I had been crying over him. Sure he already knew I loved him, but having him see me like this would be embarrassing considering it was now very obvious to me that he did not feel the same way.

“What do you want, Luc?” I quietly asked, slow to speak so he couldn’t hear the quiver of my voice or the way it cracked just a little on his name. Even saying his name out loud made the cracks in my heart multiply.

“Allow me to explain myself,” he pleaded gently. I could feel my wrist tingle from where his fingers almost brushed along my skin, but not quite. Instead he forced himself to retract his arm knowing that it would be best not to touch me unless I gave him the signal to do so.

I tucked my chin down against my chest as I strained to keep my emotions in check; however, there was no winning against the tears of the brokenhearted. I knew my body was trembling slightly with the cold mixed with my anger and restraint, but Luc was smart enough to not speak a word about it.

“Fine,” I snapped swallowing back a pained sob that threatened to break through that one word. “Justify yourself.”

“I’d feel like less of a jerk if you’d look at me while I explained so you knew I wasn’t lying,” he softly suggested. I heard the light scuff of his shoe from behind me as he probably switched weight from one foot to the other. The tears refused to stop, so there was no point in trying to hide them anymore.

I whipped around to face Luc who stood a couple of feet in front of me with his hands shoved deep into the pocket of his heavy, black leather jacket. The jeans he had so graciously slipped into before chasing after me back in the mansion sat low on his hips as he stood there watching me through careful blue eyes. His hair was a complete mess almost like he hadn’t even bothered to try and fix it before deciding to follow after me. Although I knew the cold probably had no effect on him, the tip of his nose was pink from the fierce winds as well as along his cheekbones. He had never looked more adorable. That was the thought that forced me to wrench my gaze away from him. His blue gaze dropped to the ground as we both stood there in tense silence.

“What you saw,” he began finally shattering the quiet. “It’s not what you think. I know that’s a clichéd line, but it’s true.”

“What I saw…was you…lip locked with that…that…whore!” I bit out irately our eyes meeting briefly before I quickly glanced away looking back to my empty spot on the grey concrete.

Luc sighed nodding his head in agreement. “I can’t deny that’s what you saw, but how things ended up there is not how you’re assuming. I didn’t purposefully betray you, Leighra.”

“Then what did you do, Luc, huh? What? Did she just march her way into your room and force you nearly naked down onto the bed to have her way with you?” I scoffed indignantly too angry to produce tears anymore.

“Yes,” Luc answered earnestly capturing my gaze and holding it.

“As if you didn’t enjoy it. I saw the way your fingers were digging into the flesh at her hips.”

“I didn’t enjoy it, Leighra! And my hands were digging into her skin because I was trying to remove her,” he stressed.

“You know what, Luc? I just…I don’t care anymore. I’m done,” I sighed feeling suddenly tired. The cold no longer affected my numb body even though my body was still clearly shivering. I just wanted to go as far away from him as possible so I could just think. His presence here wasn’t helping that; it only made me go crazier. Maybe along with regaining my soul, Michael could erase my memories of Luc as well.

I went to brush passed him to leave the lookout point when Luc firmly grasped my upper arm in his hand causing me to stop.

“Let go of me,” I growled not even bothering to turn back to look at him.

“Why, Leighra, at least tell me that. Why are you running this time? I already told you. What you saw Lilitu doing was against my will. She’s a powerful demon; more powerful than me considering I’m still just a babe compared to her age. My powers won’t come into full effect until I am Satan. Lilitu…she was just jealous that I no longer wanted her because I finally possessed something so much better than her,” Luc softly confessed loosening his grip on my arm when he felt my muscles relax under his fingers.

“And what’s that?” I whispered knowing he could hear me perfectly.

“You, Leighra, I have you. While everyone around me pushed me to become this…blood thirsty demon who cared for nothing except himself…it was when you came into my life that made me realize I wanted to be a better demon. I wanted to be like my father and prove all the legends of Satan wrong to some extent of course,” he nervously chuckled hoping to get me to at least smile. Although he couldn’t see my face…it worked. The corners of my lips twitched into a small, sad smile before quickly disappearing.

“Even though it had originally been my mother’s suggestion that I try to act more human for your sake…it was eventually your love for me that made me become that human…this man that stands here before you wishing he could see that radiant smile light up your face again.”

Luc tugged gently on my arm making me turn back to look at him. Slowly, carefully, he reached up a hand to brush aside the remains of my tears along with the new ones that had begun to form along the edges of my eyes.

“These tears that run endlessly down your face…these tears are ones I never meant to cause. The pain—the betrayal—you feel breaking your heart…I want to mend it back into the shape it was any way I can. And if that means leaving me to be with Michael then…” Luc released my arm and let his arms fall limply back to his sides. “Then I want you to be happy because that’s all I want for you. I want for you to be completely happy and living with no regrets.”

I gazed deep into his warm, sincere blue eyes feeling the pain of my heart begin to lessen. Whether it was from the genuine tone of his voice or the sad, yet accepting look in his eyes…I couldn’t be sure, but whatever it was it made the pain on my heart lessen.

“Luc…I am happy. With you. It’s just…” I took a deep breath and glanced away unsure of how to continue. Just thinking about the words I was going to say next made the ache return to my heart. I subconsciously gripped my shirt over that tender organ that beat so feebly and fearfully against my ribs.

“It’s just…I need to know that I’m not living a one-sided love. Michael, he…he wants to love me. He’s willing to return the love I give. You…your heart doesn’t even beat for me. So I’ll never really know if I can believe the caring words you tell me. Plus…I was born to be with Michael, it’s already written in my destiny,” I admitted shamefully wishing I had never even bothered to talk to him that night at the speed dating thing. Wishing I had never showed up to that spur of the moment date. Wishing a lot of things I could never take back while at the same time being so grateful for each event that brought us together.

Luc took a step towards me slipping my hands into his as he held them tightly in his grasp.

“Then let’s rewrite your destiny. It’s not fair that Michael gets to claim you by default not when I have worked so hard to get to this point. Not when I still have so much to offer to you. I don’t want to let you go just yet. Your kiss…your smile…I would die in order to receive those things from you for the rest of my life. Why should destiny decide the way your heart truly feels?”

“I…” I shook my head wanting to believe in his words, but I couldn’t bring my heart to trust in them anymore. “I don’t want to keep ending up hurt and crying all alone,” I confessed stepping back slipping my hands from his.

“If my words can’t make you believe how much I truly care for you, then let this be your proof.” Luc snatched my hand back and slammed the flat of my palm against the left side of his chest; his hand forced my palm to remain where it was as I watched him curiously. What was supposed to be my proof?

“I don—” I began before Luc shushed me placing a finger against my lips.

“Just allow yourself to listen and feel,” he instructed resting both of his hands atop mine.

I clamped my mouth shut and obliged his gentle command. I focused my gaze upon his chest where my hand was being held captive against the solid muscle. Still unsure of what my proof was supposed to be, I released a sigh beginning to grow impatient. Was I supposed to be…and that’s when I started to feel it. Thinking I was just willing myself to believe in the impossible once more, I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and allowed my hand to work as my ears hoping it would also heighten my sense of feeling as well. There it was again; it had been subtle at first because I hadn’t been paying attention to it, but now that my full focus was on it…I could feel it clearly beneath my hand.

A pound. Not one. Not two. It was a steady beating. One that I had become familiar with as the same rhythm beat beneath my own chest. His heart struck against his ribcage healthy and strong as if it had never stopped beating for thousands of years. My eyes snapped open and met a pair of frosted blue eyes that lightened even further when they saw the tears beginning to well up in my eyes once more. Breathing became difficult as my lungs constricted; while his heart continued to beat I could feel mine completely stop.

“Y-your h-hea-heart,” I stuttered breathlessly keeping my hand against his chest even when he removed his hands to gently cup my face. Luc tilted my head back just enough to where there was no breaking away from his icy blue gaze.

“The moment you left the mansion…it made me realize the one thing I had been denying to myself all along from the moment we made our deal,” he whispered, the chill of the air causing his breath to form a white cloud outside his lips.

“And…and what’s that?” I asked nervously. My heart had begun hammering hard against my chest looking for a way out so it could breathe. The constricting of my lungs making the nervous organ feel almost claustrophobic.

“I love you, Leighra, and that is the absolute truth,” he breathed.

He left me no room to comment on his confession as his lips swooped in to capture mine in a tender, passionate kiss. The ring fell from my fingers to clink to the concrete at our feet as I slid my fingers up along the nape of his neck and tangled them in his unkempt black hair. My eyelids fluttered closed as I leaned in closer to his body; my other hand still resting against his chest. Luc’s warm hands fell from my face to rest hesitantly along the curve of my hips; his lips brushing gently against mine as if testing his boundaries still unsure of how I might react. The hand I held against his chest trailed down his abdomen to grip the fabric of his shirt tightly in my fist along his sides as I pressed our lower bodies together. I didn’t want him to hold back. Never again.

Luc slid a hand down into the back pocket of my jeans rubbing his palm against my bottom while the other hand captured the nape of my neck and molded our lips closer together. I brushed my tongue along his lower lip coaxing his tongue out of his mouth and into mine with gentle strokes. He eagerly followed, caressing my lips with the tip of his tongue, and then teasingly touching my tongue with his. I could feel those strong fingers grip the tendrils of my hair tightly in their grasp as he forced me to stand on my tiptoes. The taste of his mouth, his dark and spicy scent, his warm, muscled body against mine…the barely perceptible growl of longing he made in the back of his throat. It all drove me nearly insane wishing we were inside so I could rip off his clothing once and for all.

After several moments, Luc pulled away and gazed down at me in the gentle light coming from the rays of the moon that had raised high above our heads during our chat. Neither of us had known the sun had set so quickly beneath the mountains. He rested his forehead against mine while both of us softly panted from the aftermath of the kiss. The heat from the kiss and Luc’s body had completely warmed my own making me nearly forget about the freezing winds whipping around us as the temperature dropped from lack of heat caused by the sun’s light.

Luc untangled his fingers from my hair and removed his hand from my back pocket to crouch down, his hand searching on the ground for something. Finding the object, he stood back to his full height and grabbed my hand sliding the ring I had dropped earlier back onto my finger.

“Promise me you’ll never throw away our memories,” he murmured holding my hand between his keeping my fingers warm.

I nodded as a shy smile broke out across my face. I shifted my gaze downward causing my hair to shift forward hiding my face. He pressed two fingers beneath my chin and tilted my head back up to meet his gaze.

“And promise me that you’ll never stop smiling for me.”

“I promise,” I reassured pressing my lips against his in confirmation before pulling away. “But on one condition.”

That familiar cock of the eyebrow I had come to love came over his face.

“Oh? And what would that be?” he smiled wrapping his arms securely around my waist and tugging our bodies closer together.

“Tell me you love me again,” I whispered my eyes dropping to his lips before returning back to those shining, blue orbs.

He brought his lips centimeters from my own; his hot breath smelling lightly of mint and sweet cinnamon as it washed over my face when he repeated the three words I had been longing to hear from the moment I knew I was falling for him,

“I love you.”