Can't Let You Float Away

"The outbreak of the new disease, T-13, which began in East Europe nearly a week ago, shows no signs of stopping and is spreading viciously according to scientists. Here with the story is Kate Donaghue."

"Hi, Ann. Well it's as you just said, this new virus is puzzling scientists across the globe. Many are criticizing European leaders for allowing travel while quarantine in these cities should have been established at the first sign of the unknown virus. Now just a little background, the disease -"

I flick the television off and Alex gives me a glare from his place on the kitchen seat.

"You're just setting yourself up to be scared." I laugh. He jumps up, pulling me onto the kitchen seat with him.

"I'm trying to stay informed." He grumbles into my neck as he tickles me with his nibbling. I giggle and try pushing him away. He gives up. "I'll just look it up on the internet."

"You're going to scare yourself, Alex." I protest but get up anyway, leaving him to look into his disease. I check the back room where Liam is napping, sound asleep with his mouth open in a perfect little 'o' shape.

"Symptoms," Alex begins as I make my way back to the front of the bus. Everyone had gone out for dinner, but not wanting to wake Liam, Alex and I had vouched to stay in, "this is grizzly babe."

"I don't want to know."

"The disease begins like the common cold. Sneezing, coughing, stuffed nose, whatever. There isn't a way to tell it apart from a cold until it's already been settled for five to eight days. And then it... it, um, begins to infect the stomach, blood occurring in waste or vomit -"

"Alex, that's disgusting, stop, please." I sigh.

"Eleven days after the initial appearance of the 'cold' most patients become comatose. At this point they're pretty much gone. Says here that if kept on respiratory treatment long enough, the patient's skin begins to..."

"Alex!"

"Rot off. Rot. Like bad meat or something. Four to five days after the beginning of the coma."

"Alexander William Gaskarth!" I hiss. "Stop right this second."

He looks up from his computer screen, eyes worried. "Babe -"

"What did I tell you?" I shake my head. "That you were just going to scare yourself. It's not in America, Alex. We're fine."

"But the news... it's traveling. And so are we. We're on one of the biggest annual tours America has. We are exposed more than anyone in the country."

I fill a glass with cold water and hand it to him. He drinks quietly, staring at me through the water. "We'll be just fine, Alex. This kind of thing has happened before, and you know what? There's always a vaccine before it reaches us."

Alex nods, shuts his laptop. "Yeah, you're right. I guess... I'm going to go lay with Liam a little while."

"Don't wake him please. He's had a long day in the sun." I call after him. I wait until Alex has closed the curtain to the back room before opening up his laptop again and typing in the password. Curious as to why he had lost it. His window is still open.

Web MD. There is a picture there. A picture of the final stages, the rotting skin of someone attached to a breathing tube. My hand throws itself over my mouth and I quickly shut the screen down. I stare at the remote Alex has left on the table and opt to go cuddle up to him for a few minutes until the image is gone from the forefront of my mind.

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"I'm just looking forward to getting to New York again!" Matt calls from the front of the bus. "We may actually have time to see the Empire State Building this time! Given we aren't kicked out for jumping up and down on the elevators..."

"Jack." Everyone groans in unison, recalling winter of 2009.

He shrugs. "Bunch of stuck up security guards. Don't know how to have a little fun."

I roll my eyes and move my head in closer to Alex's shoulder, his arm looped around me. Liam and Delilah sit at the table, coloring, a rare quiet moment. None of us even cared that they could be getting crayon on the brand new shiny tour bus. My phone begins to buzz in my pocket:

Incoming call: Dad

I sigh and show it to Alex.

"Pick up." He says, kissing the top of my head.

I rub my forehead, preparing for the headache and answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Jamie, how are you? Been a while." His gruff voice breaks over the receiver.

"I'm good. And before you ask so is Liam and Alex. They're fine. Having a lot of fun on Warped Tour. Liam is finally getting old enough to understand that daddy playing music is a big deal, so it's pretty exciting."

"Hope you all aren't stressing yourselves out, being cooped on a bus for hours a day and probably not eating a bite of anything good for you."

"Actually this morning Liam and I ate a bowl of fruit with milk for breakfast." I lie as Alex tries not to laugh beside me. By bowl of fruit I meant Fruit Loops.

"Well great! I'd love to talk to the little guy, if he can -"

"Not right now, dad. He's um... he's taking a nap." Lies.

"Right, okay, I'll call back at a later hour next time I suppose." He stops, fumbling for words. "Have you heard about the virus going around?"

"The one in Europe?" I roll my eyes as Alex perks up, suddenly taking interest.

"Yes, that one."

"What about it? Hasn't reached -"

"But it has." My dad interrupts. "First outbreak in Southern California was two days ago."

My heart picks up pace. I try to shrug this off, switch the phone to my other ear so Alex can't hear as well. "What?"

"Yeah. And I know you're driving through that area right now."

"We are, yes, but we haven't even heard about an outbreak."

"That's because they weren't sure." He pauses a moment. "It takes a couple days to clarify I guess. It looks like a simple -"

"Cold. It looks like a cold, I know." Alex is leaning over me, trying to pick up on the conversation. "But we'll be fine, dad. I mean, we aren't in that area anymore."

"Doesn't matter. You were still exposed. Details are just now getting released. It may have traveled by now."

"You sound like Alex!" I groan. "There's nothing to be worried over, I promise. Liam just woke up so I'll call you back when I have time, alright?"

"Be careful, Jamie."

"I am, dad." I sigh.

"I love you and Liam... And Alex too."

"We love you, too. Gotta run." I hang up the phone and throw it onto the far end of the couch.

"Outbreak where?"

"No where."

"San Francisco?" Rian asks this time in a hushed tone, indicating he's scared too. "You said it was a city we had just driven through."

"No! You're all exaggerating!"

Everyone stares at me in silence. My voice is high, a clear sign that I'm also uneasy. I clear my throat and turn the TV on.

"Outbreak of T-13 found in Southern California today. A small town just outside Pomona has had at least five cases within the last four days, although this number is hard to conceive as the disease takes several days to diagnose-"

"You have got to be kidding!" I yell, throwing the remote at Alex who watches me walk to the bunk and climb in. I pull his iPod from the compartment and turn it up all the way. Down With The Sickness. Of course. Of course that is what Alex was listening to last. I turn off the iPod and pull the covers over my head.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine!" I yell, still angry for no reason except for the fact that I'm scared and I shouldn't be.

"Just making sure." Alex lays a hand on my back. "Tired?"

"Absolutely exhausted." I mumble.

I can tell what face he makes as smooths the blanket over me and draws the bunk curtain. He is making that face that says he doesn't believe me, that wishes I would tell the truth. That cross between a grimace and confused. I pull the blanket tighter around me and shut my eyes.

****************************************************************

"Thank you Chula Vista!" Alex screams, throwing out his last pick to the crowd who screams in unison and dives for it. The boys walk off stage and before Alex can see me, I grab Rian's shirt sleeve.

"Where's Cass?" I ask, interrupting his hello, catching him off guard.

"She's on the bus." He shifts footing. "She's trying to... um... she doesn't want to -"

"Oh my God, she's not freaking out too?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Well she is pregnant." Rian shrugs. "We weren't afraid of the thing catching until, well, until it did. I tried to get her to go back to Maryland, but she's stubborn."

"Have you looked into this?" I whisper so that none of the fans standing near us will hear the conversation.

"No, but our doctors have. A great deal. And when they get scared, it's time for us to be scared too." With that Rian turns to face a group of girls holding out copies of So Wrong, It's Right, and the subject is dropped. I turn away from him, heading to look for Alex.

****************************************************************

I find him at the merch tent, signing like crazy and taking quick pictures. I move to stand behind him and wait until he has the time to address my presence. I was used to it by now.

"Where've you been?" He asks hurriedly, signing someone's poster.

"Looking for Cassadee." I look around for Liam, spotting him playing in the dirt by Vinny's feet.

"She's on the bus."

"Well thank you, Sherlock." I say sarcastically. "You're all too worried about this. You know that right?"

Alex puts down his pen for a moment to look at me. "Jamie."

"What?" I throw my arms into the air, not knowing why he was becoming so upset.

"You didn't hear Cass this morning, did you?" Alex turns back to sign something.

I pause, trying to remember. "No."

"She was sneezing." He says it quietly so that I have to stoop to hear him say it. "Watery eyes, clogged sinuses."

"A cold." I try to explain, try to comfort him.

Alex signs the last poster, stands from his chair and looks me in the eye, the way he does when it's serious, when he means it. "Or something worse."

My stomach drops and I catch Liam drawing circles in the dirt with his fingers before I feel myself get dizzy. The world is gone and the only thing keeping me afloat is Alex's voice calling out my name and his arms wrapped around my limp shoulders. Then sleep.