Somebody That I Used to Know

“You ready?” I heard Harry call from behind the closed door; I finished tying the ribbon in my hair and looked up at my reflection in the mirror. I scanned over my face that I had covered with concealer and foundation to hide the dark circles I was supporting, a touch of blush to add colour to my cheeks and a layer of lip gloss. My damp hair fell down my shoulders in loose curls, the front pulled back into a light blue ribbon. Adjusting my white vest over the band of my denim jeans I turned and walked out of the bathroom hitting the light as I left.

Harry was seated on my bed, his attention drawn to the screen of his mobile, I smiled and walked over to my dresser opening my jewellery box and extracting a blue necklace and simple silver band ring. Slipping the chain over my neck and the ring onto my right wedding finger I turned and looked at Harry.

My mind was still buzzing with questions and mixed emotions, Harry had been so good, he had been my rock through all this, he was here now. However there was still a nagging voice in the back of my mind reminding everything Niall and I had shared together.

He was my first love.

My first kiss.

My first time.

“Hey… are you alright?” Harry’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts; I looked up and met his emerald eyes. Nodding my head I answered.

“Yeah, we should get going.”

“Sure,” his tone was light, sympathetic. Reaching out he grabbed one of my hands and walked me down the corridor and out of the house. Walking to his car and hearing the beep I opened the door and slid in. The car bounced as Harry stepped in; looking at him I smiled quickly. He started the engine and his car purred to life. Slowly we reversed out of the drive way, looking at the window I saw the lace curtain move.

Mum.



The car ride to the hospital was quiet.
Then again what do you talk about when you’re heading to see a friend who just about died?
Harry pulled into a car park and shut the engine off before turning in his seat to look at me, “Are you ready?” he asked. I nodded my head looking over at the entrance doors that were sliding open and closed with the entering and exiting people. Deep down I knew I wasn’t sure if I was truly ready to see what I was going to see.

Be strong.

I smiled before opening the door and stepping out into the cold morning air. I mentally cursed myself for not bringing a jacket that I could pull around my body. I felt a warm hand capture mine, turning my head I saw Harry next to me. Taking a deep breath we walked toward the entrance of the building.

Stepping in the smell of cleaning products and sickness filled my sense of smell causing my stomach to lurch. Harry reassuringly squeezed my hands and we continued down toward the counter where an older woman sat, she was dressed in a white pressed shirt and her greying hair was pulled back into a bun on top of her head.

“Uh… hello,” I spoke my voice was no higher than a whisper. “Where is Niall Horan?”

“Ah yes,” she smiled warmly. “Just down the hallway room thirty-six, on the left.” I thanked her before tugging Harry down the hallway, we passed the rooms.

Twenty nine.

Thirty one

Thirty three

“Lottie!” I was almost knocked off my feet when Lisa rushed toward me scooping me up into a tight hug, the grasp I had on Harry’s hand vanished as I was pulled away from me. I wrapped my arms around Lisa’s frame. The two of us stood in silence for a few minutes before she broke it.

“He’s been asking for you ever since he woke,” she whispered, “he’ll be so happy to see you.” I nodded my head but didn’t try and speak afraid that I might do something I regret. Instead when Lisa took my hand I willingly followed her into the room where all the others were.
My heart was beating erratically in my chest and I had to inhale deeply to slow my breathing and the nervousness that was enveloping me. I walked into the room quietly, I saw Louis first he was leaning against the back wall. Then it was Zayn he was leaning against the bed frame, his hand grasping the metal pole a small smile spread across his face when he saw me. Then the last teenager I saw was Liam, he was sitting at the foot of the bunk, his dark eyes met mine and a spark flashed through them as a small smile formed on his lips.

“Niall,” Lisa began her voice soft, I flicked my eyes over to the blonde headed male. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw him. His skin was a pasty white, paler then his normal complexion, his hair was flat and oily. When Lisa spoke his name his eyes cracked open I nearly sobbed when I met his blue eyes, they were hollow, lifeless, the cheekiness and happiness that normal sparkled in them had vanished.

When he saw me his eyes widened and he moved trying to sit up, the room was swallowed into a silence, I smiled meekly as I looked at him. I suddenly realised that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be left alone with him, I wasn’t sure what I would do.

“Come on, let’s give them some space,” Liam smiled rising to his feet and grabbing Lisa’s hand, the three other boys followed him out into the seating area. When the door clicked closed I looked at Niall for a few seconds before looking at my feet.

“Charlotte,” his voice was crackly, dry. I wasn’t used to his voice being so rough, I wasn’t used to him looking like this. It scared me. “I-”

“What were you thinking?” I spoke my voice was soft but the pain was evident in the under tones. It was Niall’s turn to pull his eyes away from me.

“I wasn’t… I mean… since I left you everyt’ing has been going downhill.”

“How can you scare your friends like that?” I shot taking a step toward him anger and frustration simmering inside me. I didn’t want to be angry but his mistake made my blood boil. “After everything they have done for you.” Niall pulled his gaze away from mine and looked down at his hands. “How can you scare me like that?” my words were a whisper, I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to hear them but they came out anyway.

A sob fell from Niall’s lips and he looked up at me a tear spilling onto the soft skin of his cheek, “I’m so sorry…” he sobbed harder more tears falling from his eyes, seeing him like this pulled at the strings of my heart and my eyes welled with tears. “I… I never meant to hurt you.”

I scoffed and swiped at my eyes turning my head away, looking at the wall, “then why did you leave me? What made you pack up and leave? Did you really stop loving me?” my words broke as my emotions overwhelmed me; I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“No.” I snapped my head around and looked at him, my eyes boring into his. “I never stopped loving you Lottie.” I went to retaliate with a what? But he continued talking.
“I never stopped loving you but I couldn’t stand all the hate that you were receiving the lies and rumours that were starting about me, about you. You have no idea how much it broke my heart when I would come home from recording and see you curled up in a ball asleep with tears on your cheeks and a closed laptop by you. I knew that it was only going to get worse and I didn’t want you to have to go through any of that shit so…” he trailed off his eyes were staring into mine. The hardness in my eyes was softening and the hate and anger that I was feeling was subsiding to guilt. “I knew what I had to do,” his words were soft. “Hate me all you want, I deserve it.”

He did all this to protect me, to protect my heart from the viciousness of fans and media?

“Just seeing you there torn was enough to break my heart, I knew that if it got any worse it would kill me so I had to protect you the best way I could… and even though leaving you almost killed me I did.” The way he was looking at me was as if he was staring into my soul, something stirred inside me and even though I was crying I smiled and paced over to the blonde headed boy in the hospital stooping down and wrapping my arms around his shoulders, clutching him to my body tightly. I felt his arms wrap around my middle as he held me just as tightly, he buried his head into my shoulder sobs leaving his lips, I took deep breaths to stop myself from crying, I buried my face into his neck and inhaled deeply.
“I love you Lottie,” he whispered, just saying those four words brought back so many memories but one in particular.

I had done it, I had fully given myself to him and I couldn’t have chosen a better man to give it to.
I thought to myself as I lay on his chest listening to his calming heartbeat, sweat covered our bodies holding us together. The smile that was etched across my face couldn’t be wiped off.
I lay there his arm draped around my back holding me securely, turning my head slightly I looked at him, his eyes were heavy, an arm underneath his head and a lazy smile spread across his face. He looked down through half lidded eyes his oceanic eyes locking with mine.

“I love you Lottie,” his words made my heartbeat rise and the smile on my face widen.

“I love you too Niall,” smiling I adjusted my body and stretched up pressing my lips to his in a sweet kiss.

“I love you too Niall,” I whispered closing my eyes and adjusting my body so I was sitting on the mattress.