Somebody That I Used to Know

I sat in Harry’s arms for what seemed like an eternity, until all the tears that had welled up inside me were gone; my face was stiff with dried moisture on my skin, I groaned and ran my hands over my eyes. Harry’s arms around me loosened and I pulled away from his slightly. Looking up I met his emerald irises and smiled weakly.

“Thank you…” he smiled and gave me a reassuring squeeze, I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes briefly. “I’m going to kill her,” I muttered under my breath.

“What?” Harry spoke.

“Lisa, I told her not to say anything and then she went and opened her mouth.”

“She’s just trying to be a good friend.”

“She’s just being infuriating; I didn’t want you guys to know about it-”

“What…” Harry let go of me and pulled away so that he could kneel in front of me. “What do you mean you didn’t want us to know about it?”

“Because it has nothing to do with you… so why worry about it?” I stated shrugging my shoulders lightly.

“Charlotte… look at me.” I flicked my eyes up so that I was looking directly into his. “You don’t deserve to be treated like this, you don’t deserve to be hurt like this, you are our friend and if you’re hurt you have no idea how angry it makes me, how much I hate to see you cry it doesn’t only hurt you it hurts all of us… it hurts me…today when I saw you cry…” he trailed off as he floundered to continue his sentence, his green orbs ripping away from mine, I scanned over his face my brows knitting together. I went to say something when Harry’s eyes locked with mine again and he uttered four words. “He doesn’t deserve you.” I felt his body lean toward me as he cupped my face in his hands, his eyes never left mine.

“Harry,” I whispered pulling away from him shaking my head, “I… I can’t… I still love him… I’m sorry,” I scrambled out the bubble that had enveloped the two of us and got to my feet walking away.

As I walked away I heard Harry whisper a profanity under his breath. I walked past the kitchen and dining area, and up the hallway toward my bedroom. I entered and gently closed the door sliding down it and bringing my legs to my chest as I buried my face into the material of my dress. Sitting in silence I heard my front door close signalling that Harry had left. I curled myself tighter into a ball.

All the tears I possessed were gone and all I was left doing was choking back dry sobs.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

Why couldn’t I get over him?

Why do I still love him, even in his anger?

I scowled at myself and clambered to my feet.

Looking around my room and all I saw was him, every corner of my room brought back memories that I wanted to forget, memories that made me want to strangle him for coming into my life.

I stormed over to my bedside table and grabbed the hardest thing I could find. I looked at it briefly before throwing it.

SMASH!

I continued to grab anything I could find and chuck it.

SMASH!

THUD!

CRASH!

The noises continued a crescendo of sound that included my grunts and groans as I threw with such force that my arm felt as if it has slipped out of its socket. I grabbed another item and threw it with such force that my mirror smashed and crumbled to the ground, shards covered my floorboards. Realisation hit me and I hurried over to the pile of jagged glass. It was in that pile of mess that I saw it, his handwriting on a photo of the two of us.

I dropped to my knees and leant forward grabbing the photograph.

My Princess ‘till the end of time.

I looked at the picture, his lips were pressed to my cheek as I smiled into the camera, his red snapback resting on my head as his arm encircled my waist. I looked at the photo for a few moments more before screwing it up and chucking it as far away from me as possible.

“I hate you…” I mumbled as I reached forward and began to collect the mirror fragments in my hands, “I hate you…” the fragments slipped in my hands slicing the tender flesh of my palms but I paid no attention as I continued to pick up the pieces. “I hate you…” the tears were back and they were slipping from my eyes down my cheeks and the tip of my nose. “I hate you…” I swiped at my tears with the back of my hands.

“CHARLOTTE!” I heard Lisa’s voice but I didn’t look up, I had to get this clean before Mum and Dad come home tomorrow. I was pulled away from the glass by a pair hands grabbing my own and pulling me back. “CALL SOMEONE!... My God Lottie you’re hands… there’s so much blood… STOP!” she yelled as I fought against her. I have to get rid of this glass there is so much, “LOTTIE STOP… ENOUGH! LIAM HELP!”

“Get up here now…” was all I heard from Liam before something was slammed shut.

“I HATE HIM!” I screamed, “I HATE HIM FOR MAKING ME LOVE HIM! I HATE THE STUPID FUCKING IRISH MAN!” I stopped fighting I was tired, I was sore and I wanted it to end, I wanted all of this to be over, I wanted something to stop the pain I felt. Long, loud cries fell from my lips. I felt Lisa wrap her arms around me, I grasped the material of her shirt and held it with such force that I the skin around my knuckles grew tight. “I’m over it! Over crying, over feeling like this, over loving him, everything Lisa… I want it to end… I want…” I sobbed into her neck, she drew me closer and I held her with all my strength she was my life line.

“Sh… I know, I know…” her voice trembled, she was about to cry which made me cry harder, something had snapped inside me and I had no control over my emotions. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” she soothed I shook my head. “Please Lottie, for me.” I slowly pulled my hands away from her and she pulled away from me. Looking up at her I realised what I had actually done, I had scared her and I never wanted to do that. Ever. She is my best friend. My only true friend who has been there for me through it all.

“I-I’m so s-s-sorry,” I hiccupped, she chuckled, it was shaky, as she wiped my tears from my cheeks. She kissed my cheek and I knew everything was okay.

Slowly.

Steadily.

She helped me to my feet holding me close, looking around I saw the mess that I had made, the blood that stained my rug and small pools that were evident on my polished floor. Lifting my eyes I saw the three guys and one extra that surprised me.

Harry.

He was there.

Standing.

A look of horror, fear and sickness evident on his face.

I averted my eyes from them as Lisa lead me to the bathroom where she would wash and dress my hands. There was nothing but silence in my home, as I entered the bathroom Lisa reached out one of her hands and started the hot water up, hesitantly I placed my hands under there palms up. I squirmed at the sight of all the blood, how could I have been so stupid? The clean water hit the wounds and I winced at the pain watching as the red swirled down the sink, a swirl of white and red like a candy cane on Christmas.

This wasn’t Christmas.

This was no-where near Christmas.

There were no words spoken between Lisa and I as she applied the disinfectant to my wounds making a high squeak leave my lips, she quickly dressed and wrapped my hands before looking at me.

“You had better take that off… I will go get you some pyjamas.” I smiled weakly before standing and grasping the zip at the side and sliding out of the blood stained dress. I handed it to her watching as she turned and left closing the door behind her.

She returned not long after with a pair of fluffy cotton pyjamas in her hands, I slipped into them, she helped my button the top before leading me down the hallway and into the spare room where she pulled back the covers for me.

I stepped in like a small child, no words as I snuggled down and rested my head on the pillow.

“Goodnight Lottie,” she whispered pressing a kiss to my forehead and looking at me.

“I’m sorry Lisa… for everything.” She smiled warmly stroking my cheek before turning and walking out. Hitting the light and gently closing the door behind her.

Closing my eyes sleep overtook me instantly.