Somebody That I Used to Know

“What is it? What’s wrong with Niall?” the line was quite for a few moments before a heavy breath left Liam’s lips. He was trying not to cry. “Liam!” I nearly screamed. That was when a knock resounded through my house. “LIAM JAMES PAYNE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” I yelled into the mouth piece my voice shaky with fear.

What was happening?

Why was Liam crying over Niall?

There was a shuffling sound the phone was being passed on; I heard footsteps coming toward my room. My mother’s voice muffled everything was spinning.

“Lottie.”

“Zayn, please say you can tell me what’s going on…” I begged, the unknown was killing me, Eddie sensed my worry and jumped up on my lap, and gently I pushed him away and rose to my feet.

“Niall… he’s…” Zayn trailed off and I wanted to scream, I was about to scream at the teenager on the other end when my bedroom door burst open and Harry was stepped into my room a look on his face telling me that something wasn’t right, the way his eyes gleamed with tears and his bottom lip trembled. I saw Mum and Dad were standing behind him grave looks on their faces.

“Niall’s in the hospital…” both Harry and Zayn said in unison.

“W-why?” I stuttered. Harry looked down at his feet and I noticed he was trying so hard not to cry. I heard a strangled sob from the other end of the line. “Zayn… what… what’s going on? Why is Niall in the hospital?”

“Liam… he found him… he… he overdosed on…” the words left Zayn’s lips and everything else turned into a muffle, the only thing that was clear was the clatter of my phone on my floorboards.

Niall, my sweet Irish snowflake.

The image of him found still in his bed not breathing, a mess of pills beside him; I imagined the look on Liam’s face when he found Niall face down in the pillows. A pain seared through my chest and I clutched at my heart, an audible ‘ah’ escaping my lips as the pain buried deeply into the centre of my chest. Tears spilled from my cheeks and my breathing was shallow and rapid. My head was spinning, my thoughts buzzing. I choked on sobs and my legs buckled underneath me, I dropped to my knees my hand grasping at my bedside post.

“Charlotte…” I heard my parent’s voices they were far away.

What had I done?

“What have I done?” I whispered, “What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?” the words tumbled from my lips as my eye darted around my floor, closing my eyes I continued to mumble Eddie was barking loudly at me from my bed, they were a soundtrack of sharp barks and loud whining tones.

“Lottie,” his words were a whisper as his arms encircled around my waist and he drew me close. “Lottie,” he repeated his voice breaking.

“I did this…I made him do this…” I sobbed guilt laughing in my ear as he poked me with a red hot iron making me cry harder. “I… I…” I stuttered hyperventilating.

“No…” Harry whispered in my ear, “No you didn’t do this… he did it himself…”

“No… I did this Harry… I pushed him over the edge,” I pulled away from Harry and looked into his irises, tear tracks stained his cheek, he sniffled and swallowed hard shaking his head.

“You didn’t do this… he left you. Remember?” Harry paused and stared intently into my eyes as his hands cupped my face, “Remember that Charlotte, he did this on his own accord you can’t blame yourself.”

I shook my head, guilt was prodding me harder and my thoughts were hazy all I could decipher was that I was to blame for all this, “Maybe if I was a better girlfriend he would…”

“You were the best girlfriend to Niall, he talked about you constantly, he talked about how amazing you are… how he…” Harry trailed off and stared intently at me before drawing me close and holding me so tight, I buried myself into his shirt and cried long, loud sobs that dwelled from deep in the pit of my stomach. Cries that I had bottled up for the past week and a half, Harry’s arms around me, the fact that Niall had OD’d and is in hospital, everything was too much. I held onto Harry so tight that my I could feel the circulation in my hands decrease.

The two of us sat together crying, him silently while I was hysterical.



The two of us sat there for hours until there was nothing left inside us, no tears to muster, nothing both of us drained of all energy, even blinking seemed like too much effort, and our tears had covered the floor we sat on. My head was resting against Harry’s chest while I looked at my bedroom wall my eyes red and irritated, my cheeks stiff from the dried moisture on the sensitive skin. I blinked heavily and I felt Harry shift slightly, my arms instinctively tightened around him.

“Don’t let me go…” my voice was rough like sandpaper and the vibrations in my throat were painful. “Please.”

Harry sighed and shifted slightly so that he was able to wrap my legs around his waist, I held onto his shoulders as he slowly stood his arms firmly holding my upper thighs so I didn’t drop, gently he placed me on my bed. He bent down a little too far and he tumbled on top of me but quickly composed himself lifting his weight so that it wasn’t boring down on me.
He looked down at me; his eyes were puffy and red from the crying he had done. As much as I wanted to go and see Niall I had no energy and Harry being here made it better.

“We should go see him…” I began my voice light.

“Tomorrow,” Harry whispered as he gazed at me.

“I…”

“Sh…” Harry interrupted me by gently placing his index finger over my lips; silence enveloped the two of us in a comforting hug, Harry’s eyes travelled from mine down to my lips before quickly flicking back to my eyes. My eyes danced around his face before I locked my gaze with his again, he smiled lightly and his face slowly inched toward mine.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered kissing each of my eye lids, “Stunning,” my cheeks, “even when you’re crying,” the corners of my lips. I ran one of my hands slowly up his back feeling his muscles tense underneath my touch. My hand ran over his shoulder and down so I was cupping the side of his neck, gently I curled his hair around my index finger as I looked at him. I looked at his lips tracing the curves with my eyes, wondering what they would feel like against mine.

I wasn’t sure what was going on inside my head but all I knew was that I wanted to kiss Harry Styles more than anything at this point in time. Slowly I drew Harry’s face closer to mine, lifting my head slightly.

“Kiss me…” he breathed against my lips and that was all that it took. I pressed my lips against his in a soft kiss. That was all it took.

My breath was taken away from me and I kissed harder as if he was my source of oxygen, I needed this, him, everything felt so wrong but so right at the same time. I pulled Harry closer so there was no gap between us his body was pressed against mine as our lips danced in sync. He was first to pull away leaving me fighting for breath, my chest heaved against his as I inhaled air.

“I have wanted to do that for so long,” he panted as he ran his hands up my sides sending shivers across my heated skin. He pressed his forehead against mine and tried to regain his breathing pattern closing my eyes I relished in the feeling of wholeness that I felt.

Maybe Harry was what I needed.

Maybe, just maybe this is meant to be.

I opened my eyes just in time to watch Harry roll off me, the loss of weight made me uncomfortable and cold. I watched as he rolled off my mattress and got to his feet straightening his shirt.

“W-where are you going…” I crawled over and grabbed his hand he turned back to look at me a smile spread across his face. “Stay.” That was all he needed before kicking his shoes off, sliding out of his skinny legs and pulling his shirt over his head. I followed suite kicking my shoes off I grabbed my pyjamas from under my pillow and quickly changed into them before jumping under the blankets and nestling close to his chest, Eddie jumping up and nestling his head under my arm until he was up near both our chests. Before closing his eyes, I kissed Eddie’s head as Harry kissed mine before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.