The Golden Bridge

As I stared at the blank T.V screen it took me back to the time when I lived in South Carolina. South Carolina was beautiful; the climate always stayed warm and there was barely ever a grey cloud in the sky. Yet behind the front door to my small house lived a great hell run by the two demons that were known to me as my parents. From the moment the sun peeked from the West side of the horizon to the moment it sank from the East my parents did horrible things to me…. staring at the screen, I recalled the time I was watching T.V when my dad came home from work. Of course he was wasted.

"Elena... Get the hell up and make me dinner", he slurred.

I guess I didn't get up fast enough because he pulled me up by my hair and dragged me into the kitchen. He stumbled and fell to the ground.

"Help me up you little worthless bitch", he yelled at me.

I helped him up and walked into the kitchen to make him dinner.
He stumbled into a chair.

"I want a burger"

I went into the fridge and looked for the hamburger meat. There wasn't any.

‘Shit’ I thought to myself.

“Dad there isn't any meat to make you a burger.”

He stood up and smacked me across the face as hard as he could. I fell to the floor and then blacked out. Or I think I blacked out because I don't remember anything after that...

I was finally able to snap back to the present and escape my "spell" or flash backs I would call them. It was September 6th, my first day at San Rafael high. I’d just moved to California a few months back after being rescued from the torture of my relentless parents. I worried so much that I wouldn’t make any friends at the new school because my abusive past stuck to me like glue. It was the lump in my throat that I wasn’t strong enough to swallow and move on. I guess that’s why I had trouble talking because the lump was so big that words could barely reach the surface.
I headed off to school, which was only five blocks away. I was somewhat scared to be heading towards hundreds of loud mobbed high school kids. I wasn’t claustrophobic to tight environments such as crowds but still my shyness took the best of me.
I arrived at school five or ten minutes later. Kids came from every direction on skateboards, bikes and just plainly walking. I walked slowly counting my steps to take a finger off the pressure I felt weighing down on my shoulders.
I reached the steps to the school when I heard a girl nearby arguing loudly with someone. I turned my head around somewhat to get a glimpse. A girl stood yelling at a guy. The girl was skinny with bleach blonde hair. She stood 5’3ft tall and was wearing short-shorts and a quite revealing tang top. Her boobs almost looked comparable in size to a small basketball. The guy she yammered at towered over 6ft tall with pretty big muscles and had loose dirty blonde hair and ocean blue eyes.

“...How could you forget our one month anniversary?” the girl shouted.

“Crystal I’m sorry!! I’ve had a lot on my plate and….” She cut him off.

“Don’t give me that ‘I’ve had a lot on my plate’ bullshit! We’re in a committed relationship! Do you even care?” She spat at him.

“Of course I care!” He yelled back.

“Then why can’t you remember ONE FUCKING day that we made our special bond?? Why!!” She screamed.

The two of them were making such a scene that a teacher came from the main door, probably assuming there was a fight going on.

“What the hell is going on out here?” the teacher interrogated.

The girl Crystal pointed accusingly at the boy.

“This careless bastard didn’t remember our one month anniversary!!”
She still screamed.

“You kids, so naïve. You think one month is worth celebrating? Try going a year without splitting up, then you can make a holiday of it!”

The teacher collected all of the remaining students to enter the building and we went off to our homeroom.

I didn't exactly know where to go since I was a new student. So I walked into the office.

"Hello, I'm the new student Elena Woods."

"Oh yes, I will take you to homeroom," said the women at the front desk.

She walked out of the office and I followed her down the hall. It was a long hallway with a few turns. We reached my homeroom.

"This is your homeroom, Mrs. Smith,”

I walked into the room, Mrs. Smith walked over to me.

"Well class this is our new student Elena Woods, so please make her feel welcome."

I took a seat at the nearest chair. About five minutes later the bell rang and I was off to my first class. My first class was history.

I walked into history class and took a seat. The teacher introduced me to everyone and began the lesson. We were learning about the history of Hitler and the holocaust, which made me think of how much I related to the Jews being abused by Hitler for no good reason.
Finally class was over and I went to my next few periods. Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. Lunch was the beating heart of my anti-sociality. I got my lunch and sat at a table alone. I looked only at my food, knowing that it’s quite noticeable for a new girl to be sitting alone.

“Hi,” I looked up startled and surprised. It was the dirty blonde muscular boy from before. For a second I just looked at him before I realized I was being creepy.

“Hi…” I said awkwardly.

“I’m the guy who that girl was yelling at this morning… sorry about all that racket,” He said apologetically.

“It’s okay,” I said smiling a little.

“I’m Austin by the way, and you are…?”

“Elena,” I said.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Are you new here?”

“Yes, I just moved from North Carolina,”

“Wow! So you’ve come a long way!” He exclaimed.

“Yes,”

He motioned at the deserted table.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked. I was caught by surprise at the question, I had presumed that he had come over to say hello out of pity. But happily I responded, “Yes, go ahead. But…” I said catching glance of his girlfriend across the cafeteria.
“Would your girlfriend mind?” I asked cautionary thinking he might change his mind.

“Oh that bitch? I don’t give a shit what she says. She’s thought that she could control me ever since I regrettably told her I loved her,” He sat down at the table leaned in close and said, “They say that you can’t control who you fall in love with, but the truth is: Before you say the three magic words, check your pants and make sure your dick is flat and THEN there might be a chance you’re interested in something other than her rack.”
The rest of the lunch period he told me about every teacher I’d be having. If they were strict or nice or if they just let every student fuck around and not give a shit about them. He told me some of them just taught with the bare minimum of effort just so they could get the golden paycheck at the end of the week. This drove me into a little worry because I always had trouble in school, except for math of course which was my best subject. In elementary school I was on my own with homework, dad was always drunk and beating me. Mom also had rash punishments, like cutting my fingers every time I swore and burning my stomach with a dimly lit match when I disobeyed her orders. That’s why I never wore revealing shirts. The scars were quite disturbing to look at.
All those dreadful memories played out like a movie in my dreams causing sticky cold sweats and endless tears.

They never went away, no matter what I did. But living with the memories did make me come across a solution. It wasn't the best solution but it seemed to do the job, and that was cutting my wrists. I figured that one day I would go so far that all my blood would just leak out. Then I would finally be at peace. That day hasn't come yet and to be honest I didn't give two shits if it did.
Luckily my step-mom never noticed since she was always at work. There was no step-dad in the picture because she was a single woman. Which made me happy because the mention of the name “dad” gave me the shivers. My dad had always frightened me more than my mom because he was bigger and taunted ruthless threats like: If you don’t get out of bed right now, I’ll rape your small little ass with a knife!
Threats like that always automatically made me jump out of bed and do whatever the hell he said. All my mom did was cut and burn me, which sounded terrible as well. Hell, it was all terrible! But my dad just had the persona of a mass rapist murderer. There should be a law that no man like that should be allowed to have babies or for the matter of fact touch one.

After lunch I went to my next class, which was math. I was one of those super smart kids, so I was in an advanced math class.

By the time the bell rang I had one more class to go which was science. By then I was pretty tired of hearing the teachers introduce me to everyone when I knew no one really cared.

Finally the last bell rang and I was able to go home. Walking out of school I heard my name being called

"Elena...Elena...Elena..."

I turned around and it was Austin

"Oh hey", I said.

"Do you need a ride home?"

"Umm… no thanks, my cousin Marie should be here any minute,"

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow"

He smiled at me then walked off to his car. About ten minutes later my cousin pulled up in her black jeep.

"Hey Elena, how was school?"

"It was fine," I said getting into her car and then driving off.

"Did you make any friends?"

"No, well this one kid did sit with me at lunch which was sweet of him."

When we reached the house, we both got out of her jeep and went inside. I went up to my room and did some homework.
After awhile I took a break and watched some T.V with the pleasure of not staring at a blank screen to flash the past in my face. I watched a soap opera called “Benedict’s Vow” which was about a man who fell in love with this beautiful woman named Destiny. But no matter how strong his love was he still couldn’t explain it. Some would say that was charming and sweet to say “My love is too profound for words to describe” but Destiny demanded a real reason. But he could never think of one, ‘is it her breasts? Her lustful persona?’ he had always pondered. Eventually she couldn’t bear the uneasiness of their unexplained half love relationship. She told him she couldn’t speak to him anymore.
‘Austin was right’ I thought to myself. You couldn’t just throw the three magic words around without a true reason. Anyone could say it to one another but that wouldn’t make it real.
Maybe that’s all love was, confusion and pain. The suffering of the uncontrollable urge to have sex then barely speak a word. What would you even say to someone who you barely know after making love? All that you really did was fulfill your own sexual needs by using them as a tool.

Thinking about love caused a pain in my stomach. Inside I had always starved for the feeling of love from my parents. To not be loved by the two people who had brought you into this world was the worst burden a soul could bear.
Later on that night I went downstairs and had dinner, then took a shower and went back to my room. I felt kind of bad because I never spent any time with Marie. I wasn't a social butterfly like some girls, or even had a group of girlfriends that would have sleepovers and do each other’s makeup while gossiping about the hottest guys in school.
I climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep, but lying down in bed took me back to the time when I was laying in bed in one night and I remember my dad snuck in my room and he dragged me out of my bed and downstairs; he then took me to the basement. The basement was cold and dark, which blinded me. My dad threw me onto the floor and climbed on top of me then began to rape me... and it felt like a large soft yet hard stick was pushing as hard as possible to get by my newly developing barrier... like a monster trying to break in. The pain was great, and my virginity slowly slipped away into the cold abyss.
I came back to reality, cold sweats dripping from everywhere. About 3 hours later I was finally able to fall back asleep.
The next day I woke up and got ready for school. Marie dropped me off at school. I walked into the building and into homeroom. Waiting for the bell to ring, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was a girl standing there

"Hi my name is Sydney, I wanted to say welcome!"

"Hi I'm Elena, nice to meet you."

“You as well!” she said gleefully.

The bell rang and Sydney and I walked into first period together. Austin walked into the class and took the seat next to me. After class I went to my locker, Austin came up behind me.

"Hey Elena", he said smiling.

"Hi", I said back

"So would you mind if I sit with you at lunch again?"

"Look Austin I get it. You're popular you don't have to sit with me at lunch because you feel bad for me..."

"Elena no it's not that at all. I think you're a really cool girl and I would like to get to know you better."

"Fine if you really want to, I'll see you at lunch. I have to get to class."

I walked to my next class, which was so boring that I didn't even really pay any attention because I had already learned the stuff years ago.
The bell rang and it was time for lunch. I got my lunch and sat down, Austin sat next to me. After a couple of minutes of just indulging in small talk a hand suddenly hit the table causing a loud BANG! We both looked up, Crystal stood there beaming terror in our faces.

“Austin! Why the fuck are you sitting with this little loser? I’M your girlfriend!” She questioned. Austin stood up, pure hatred burning in his eyes.

“This girl is NOT A LOSER, she is sweet, kind and SO MUCH friendlier than you! So I’ll sit with her as much as I damn well want to!!”
He projected so a good quarter of the huge cafeteria could hear. Crystal looked at me with the stare of death; I looked instantly away in fright.

“Austin you told me that you loved me! I’m the one who you kiss everyday, I’m the one you lost your VIRGINITY TO!” That one the whole universe heard… Everything fell silent. Austin fell dumbstruck in disbelief about what Crystal had just announced to the universe. Then as high as he could project he said: “Yeah, I screwed you. I’ll admit that. But it was the worst decision I’ve ever made. And you know what, I’m done making bad decisions.” He gave Crystal one last look of ‘Now we’re even’ and calmly left his lunch which was placed next to mine.

After school that day I was about to head home when Austin came from behind and quietly murmured, “Can I talk to you?”
I nodded my head and we walked off away from the building. He led me to an isolated park where we sat on a bench.

“I’m really sorry about what happened at lunch,” He apologized glumly.

“Don’t be, I’m flattered how you stuck up for me. That was really brave what you said in front of everyone,” I said reassuringly.

“Yeah… thanks. The reason I asked you here is to tell you that I think you’re a great girl. I know that I just met you yesterday in all but all the impressions you’ve given off and the things you’ve said have made me feel as if I’ve known you for awhile,” I knew where he was going with this. He was about to ask me out, my heart thumped faster. But before I could let him step deep into a life like mine I had to save him from the drowning casualties.

“Wait,” I said before he opened his mouth again.

“If you’re interested in me like that…” He cut me off.

“I am!” He exclaimed happily. Like he’d been under a terrible curse and I’d just broken the powerful bond.

“Wait! I’m not an easy girl to be around, my life has always been complicated and I don’t know if you’re willing to dig deep into that. You see...” I slipped on my words. ‘Was I really going to tell him?’ I thought. I was worried that by divulging my past of abuse it would scare him off. I took a deep breath in, and exhaled my secret.

“Back home in North Carolina for as long as I can remember I was …abused by my parents,” I admitted gazing into Austin’s eyes, which were perplexed. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected him to do or say in response. But out of all, he hugged me; he hugged me and held me tight. Like no one had ever done before. His muscles felt warm wrapping around me like a blanket. I felt a little tear drip and I broke up the warm hug and saw that he was crying.

“I’m so sorry Elena! That’s terrible. I know you’re afraid that if you let me in I’ll only get hurt, but I won’t. I’ll be here for you to talk to and, if you want, even cry on,” I was shocked by the words that ejected from his lips. I couldn’t believe that a huge hunk of a guy like him was crying for me or that I had to go through the last 15 years before meeting a guy like him. I felt myself falling in love for the first time. I guess in a way I’ve never known how to fall in love because I’d never loved to begin with. I hugged Austin and whispered in his ear:
“Austin, Will you please be my boyfriend?” and he whispered back: “No doubt in my mind” and we sat there. We sat and talked for a while. He told me how he had a similar parenthood situation. His dad had left him, his mom and his sister months ago. His mom was a train wreck so it was Austin who took care of his sister alone. That’s why he’d forgotten the anniversary he had so much on his plate with his sister and school that one simple day barely stuck out in his mind. I asked why he didn’t just tell Crystal that and he said that she wouldn’t have cared. She would have said ‘your sister is more important than me’? ‘What a selfish bitch’ I thought.

“You know what I think love is?” He asked me.

“Uh… lots of things. What do you think?”

“I think love is a powerful bond between two people. An inseparable, unbreakable and impenetrable bond. A golden bond that creates a bridge. When love is real and not just based on bullshit, you know it’s true because you feel like you’re holding each other up, as a bridge does. But when the bridge collapses… well that’s when you’ve got a problem,” I was mesmerized by everything he’d said about his theory of love being a bond that holds one another up. I never thought of it that way before. Then I realized: Benedict wasn’t in love with Destiny at all.

The next two weeks were the best of my life. Everyday after school I’d hang out with Austin and we’d do our homework together, I helped him with math because he stunk at it. We talked about many things; Austin always made me laugh and giggle. I didn’t mention anything about the abuse because I wanted him to enjoy being with me, not be depressed and pitiful. The odd thing was that we hadn’t kissed yet. I didn’t know whether that was good or bad but honestly, just being with him made me happy. His lips pursing on mine would just be a bonus.
Whenever we strolled around in the hallway once every so often Crystal would walk by, alone. It gave me satisfaction to know that rotten bitch had gotten what she’d deserved. Everything went great for me… until that next Saturday.

I awoke to my step-mom tapping on the door. It was irregular for her to be home at all considering that she had a night job and her break was in the mornings and during the afternoons when I was in school. But during the weekends I tried to spend time with her even though our relationship wasn’t necessarily defined as mother-daughter. But I didn’t mind it too much because she was nice to me and rarely ever touched me except to maybe give a kiss on the cheek.

“Come in,” I said.

She opened the door and entered fully dressed in her work clothes, she had just gotten home I presumed.

“Hey, how’d you sleep?” She asked.

“Good,” I said yawning. She looked a bit uneasy, as if she were about to unveil bad news.

“Umm… I’m sorry to wake you. I know it’s Saturday but… uh there’s someone on the phone for you,” She spilled quite slowly and awkwardly from her mouth.

“Uh, who’s on the phone?” I asked very curiously. She looked 10 times worse when she said the name of the devil.

“Your father…” I stared at her, shocked and scared at the mention of his name.

“Why is he calling? He’s not allowed…”

“Actually it appears that once in a while phone calls are okay…” She said as if she were being forced to against her will.

“Do I have to talk to him?” I asked concerned.

“I’m really sorry Elena, he swore not to say anything to upset you. Now I personally don’t believe a word that crack pot says but maybe if you want to talk to him this once….” I got out of bed and stormed out of the room yelling, “He thinks he can just call!!”
I picked up the phone and bluntly screamed into it like a microphone.

“Listen to me you God forsaken parasite! If you think that after all the damage you did to me that you can just call up and think I’ll just talk to you like you didn’t fucking torture me than you are out of your fucking god damn insane mind!!!” I screamed so loud into the phone I thought I might have deafened him on the other side of the line. I waited for a response and for a second didn’t get one. But then he started to talk and for some unknown reason I didn’t slam the phone down. I guess I just needed to get my anger out before I could hear his voice…?

“Elena, I know that I was a horrible father. I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past couple months and think I’m ready to really be there for you… so…” there it was, that slurred drunken tongue again. And before he said what he said, I swear to god I felt as if I were really back in North California. Not a flash, not a dream, but REALLY there.

“…So babe… why don’t you get your pretty ass back here and… let me touch you all over and fu--…” I threw the phone at the window like I’d never thrown anything before, shattering the glass. The old defenseless tears that had been cut and burned spilled back down my cheeks like a tsunami. I cried as if I were still lying curled up in the kitchen as my mom stuffed a burning match up my shirt massacring the skin on my stomach. I fell to the floor. I could feel his touch and the tickle of his fingers poking up from my vagina and up my body. My step-mom ran into the room having heard the glass break and helped me up and sat me down on the couch.
I told her everything he said, as hard as it was to repeat them. She went outside to retrieve the phone, called the number back and screamed so many things in outrage that I could barely decode real words from it. After that she called the police and told them she was pressing charges on him for calling just to verbally abuse me.
I couldn’t think straight. My mind was distorted as my nightmares had hardened into reality. I didn’t know how long I could take it, feeling abused and without love. But wait, I did have love, I had Austin. I couldn’t bear let him see me like this, collapsing like a wreck. So right then and there I made a decision that would hurt us both, but was really for the best, at least for now.

The next day I asked Austin to meet me at the same bench where we first sat when he asked me out, and now I’d be ending it all there. I arrived and he already sat there. ‘Shit’ I thought to myself. I was really hoping to at least have a moment alone…

“Hey!” Austin said.

“Hi,” I said with little enthusiasm. He rose from the bench and gave me a quick hug.

“I have something to-to… tell you” I stuttered nervously.

He shot me an odd look and then said, “I’m all ears,”

I looked into his eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes. I’d always loved the ocean. Almost everybody did, who didn’t like a good swim? But what would happen if a huge hurricane came and flooded everywhere? Odds are we’d all die. And if Austin shed a tear, his heart breaking, then part of my spirit would shatter. The broken glass inside me would be like the relentless burn from the lit match to my stomach. But I knew I was doing the right thing, not for him but for myself; at least I prayed to god that I was.

“Austin… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you. I’ve got a lot on my shoulders right now and need to focus on swallowing my past. Because everyday it eats me alive. My dad…” I stopped myself before I could tell him what my dad had said on the phone. Austin looked at me, not with anger, not with sadness, but understanding.

“Elena I totally get it. You’ve had a rough past and need to come to peace with the awful memories. I can give you space for a while. But when you’re ready, come right back on over here.” He gestured towards himself smiling as if he hadn’t just agreed not to see me anymore.

I couldn’t believe the way Austin had handled the breakup. Or had we really broken up? When people usually breakup they aren’t fit to getting back together whenever. So maybe we really were just putting a pause on our relationship leaving room to press play again in the future.

“Elena next Saturday we’re going to court. We’re prosecuting your father for what he said to you,” my step-mom told me.

“Mom we don’t need to do that…” I said merely because I wanted to be nowhere near that drunken pervert.

“Elena no!” she exclaimed angrily. “That son of a bitch needs to be put away for good!”

As to why my parents hadn’t both been sent to jail for longer than 3 months was beside me. As I recalled my lawyer had told me they had a rich friend pay their atrociously expensive bail.

The next Saturday we were at court in Berkley. My dad had been arrested prior when my step mom had called the police. He was flown into California for the court date. As we entered into the courthouse I could feel my heart thumping like a drum, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP. Every beat the somewhat courage I had chipped off from my soul. My mom sat beside me, yet still I felt unsafe, incomplete. All that I needed was that one person who I knew loved me more than anything. But despite the role my step-mom willingly played, we didn’t have an intimate relationship. Walking into a place where I’d lay eyes on the man who’d burned hell on me my whole entire life, that felt like walking into a hanging… then I came to my senses right then and there. I’d made a horrible mistake. I never needed to push Austin away! I needed to keep him closer! How had I been so idiotic?? If you fled your loved ones in time of pure sickness, you’d never have the tools to regain health!
The court went on as planned. There were a lot of things said and a lot of questions asked. But I paid no attention, I could only think of going back to San Rafael and telling Austin I wanted him back. The court soon ended and my dad was proven guilty and sentenced jail time for a good couple of years. It filled me with bliss to know he’d be strapped behind steel bars rotting. This time I didn’t see anyone around who was willing to pay his bail. They probably realized that they’d let a madman off the leash.

On Monday I hurried to school and rushed to Austin’s locker, but he wasn’t there. I went through all of my classes and lunch and he was nowhere to be seen. ‘Where could he be’? I thought to myself. Maybe he was sick. I called him after school but he didn’t answer. It began to worry me that something might have happened to him. Could he have done have something to himself because I’d broken up with him?

The next few days he wasn’t in school either. By then I was really worried. So I did something I wouldn’t have usually done. I asked Crystal where Austin lived. It was odd that I’d never gone to his house…

“Bitch if you think I’m going tell you where Austin lives, you doing some crazy drugs,” she sassed in her snobbish dirty tone.

“Crystal, please! I need to know where Austin is. I broke up with him 2 weeks ago and now…” She cut me off.

“You broke up with Austin? Bitch you REALLY on some crazy drugs! That boy was the best thing that’ll ever happen to you!” She sassed again.

“Really? You sure as hell didn’t treat him that way. You treated him like garbage!” I exclaimed. All my fear of her was gone, only anger boiled in my bones, ready to finally attack. Crystal gave me the stare of death, the same one she had when I had sat with Austin at lunch weeks ago.

“Bitch, you better walk away now and FUCK OFF before I kick your little ass!” She yelled. I would have honestly stayed, but a teacher had emerged from a classroom door.

The next day I came to school ready to ask everybody Austin knew where he lived, but he came back. He walked up to the school glumly.

“Austin!!” I called. He looked towards me and smiled a little but couldn’t really manage a real grin.

“Where have you been?” I questioned.

“Can we talk alone?” He whispered. I nodded and we went to the same spot where we’d always sat. As soon as we sat down he instantly broke out into tears.

“Austin! What’s wrong? What happened?” I asked touching his shoulder.

“My… mom…she… died!” He gritted through his tears.

“Austin, oh my god I’m so sorry!!” I said comfortingly.

He looked at me and pulled himself together again somewhat wiping off his leaking tears.

“She died on Saturday in a car accident. She was hysterically crying because she just found out that we’d been evicted and went off the highway in the river and drowned.”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t believe Austin had just lost everything. He was now alone with his little sister without a home. His whole life crumbled before his very eyes and I wasn’t there to be with him. I felt so selfish. All of our time together I hadn’t once asked him about his home life. Only thought of my own problems, I had been so caught up in my past that I wasn’t present in reality to see that Austin wasn’t aching of his past he was aching of his present.

“Austin, I never should have broken up with you. Now I realize that when you’re going through hard times, it’s the people who love and care the most that you need around. And I tried to push you away… I regret that more than anything,” Tears rolled down my cheeks. My pain and selfishness filled my heart with ultimate disappointment in myself.

“But we never broke up,” He said. “Just because a bridge has broken rails, doesn’t mean it collapses. We merely hit a storm, the pair of us,”

“You’re right. We both have really shitty lives. That’s why right now we need each other more than ever.”

“And guess what, Elena?”

“What?” I asked.

“This bridge isn’t coming down, not without a fight.”

And for the first time, he leaned over, looking straight into my eyes, and kissed me on the lips. His lips were warm and tasted like tears, salty. But I assure you, that kiss was well worth the wait.

So thanks to Austin I now knew the true meaning of love. I knew what Benedict would never realize. It wasn’t about the three magic words it was about the golden bridge that we build together.