Friendly Affections

What comes to mind when I think of Indiana? Corn. And the Hoosiers.
I snorted when I read the text from Jodie. I was sitting on the back porch of my childhood home, surrounded by my family who had flooded my parent's house earlier in the afternoon and stayed long into the night drinking too much and playing their classic rock music a little too loud. It was just like when I was younger, before I played at Shattuck St. Mary's, before the University of Michigan and before my NHL days. And before Jodie, who I had begged to come with me, but had refuse.
That about covers it. We're simpletons around here. Good movie, though. I replied.
I had ventured home to Indianapolis for two weeks during July, after being knocked out of the IIHF tournament and then returning back to Columbus. Summer had always seemed pointless to me, I had only ever used it to train for the season. But the rumors, heated negotiations and expired CBA left me tentative to train. It felt hopeless. Although, I did have a new distraction. One who was often in my bed when I woke in the morning, either already awake and smiling at me or still knocked out from the activities we had engaged in the night before.
Don't sell Indianapolis short, it's got the Indy 500. And apparently there's some really great hockey player was born there or something. I heard about his talent once, but it might been all talk. I could her sass, from a whole state away. I was amazed at how she managed to be flirtatious and playful through a text message; I always felt like a bumbling idiot when I attempted such things.
Try as I might, I didn't think I could match her clever wit. But I could try. I knew him when we were kids. I can honestly tell you he's that great.
So it's all true? She asked.
[i/]What's all true? I replied.
“What're you smiling about?” My mom asked, as she walked down the porch steps passed me. Her smile matched mine, although she didn't know why I was grinning at my phone.
I shrugged, but couldn't avoid smiling. “Funny post on Reddit.”
She shook her head and glances at my uncle who was listening to our conversation. “Kids.”
“Reddit's fun!” Defended my drunken, middle-aged uncle indignantly, which led to a loud argument between the two of them regarding the internet.
My phone chirped, and after I read: That he's ridiculously good looking and is as talented between the sheets as he is on the ice? the permanent smile on my face cemented itself a little firmer.
That's all true, I answered.
Know from personal experience? I could envision the smirk on her lips. It made me hungry to kiss her.
I heard it from a friend, I sent in response.
Lucky friend.
My blood roared. It was ridiculous she could turn me on with a two letter text message that was barley promiscuous. Equally ridiculous was the memories it flooded my mind with: the wet-dream worthy image of her lying on her back, dark haired fanned out the white sheets of my bed or even the completely innocent thought of her slightly chipped front tooth I always felt when kissing her.
I wanted to call her. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted any form of physical contact with her, which I couldn't have since I had promised my family I would stay in town for two more days. But I couldn't envision myself lasting that long without touching Jodie, so calling her and hearing her voice would only worsen my desire, not curb it.
That night, or earlier morning after I had finally dealt with all my drunken family members, I lay in bed studying the shining street lights reflecting through my window and onto my ceiling. I had done it every night when I was younger while imagining my favorite childhood fantasy: playing pro-hockey for the Pittsburgh Penguins, along side Jamoir Jagr. At 25, I still had fantasies to keep me awake, but they had evolved into the dimpled smile of a girl and not a professional sport.
I wanted to text Jodie and say I miss you, but I knew that was anything but a good idea. Sassy and sexy texts were okay for the sort of relationship we had, but I miss you was so needy and revealing. I could, in three letters, completely reveal everything deeper I felt for her.
The entirety of my abdomen felt hollowed out at times when I thought about the situation I was in with her. Any other man would probably think me crazy for being unhappy with such a set up, all sex and no relationship, but I knew she was worth more than that. She was one of the girls who you didn't just lust for, but you fell in love with. She wasn't just sexually attractive, she was downright appealing in all about her. I adored everything about her, from her words, to her actions, to even the way she covered her face when she was embarrassed and laughed till her face was red.
I decided to text her, but not something needy and vulnerable. Something to show her I was thinking about her, but something that would also make her very aware of my absence from her bed. While pondering what to say, my phone lit up with a text message.
I wish you were here or I was there, was what I read and then blinked in surprise. It was close enough to I miss you to make my empty abdomen fill up with a feeling of elation.
Curb my desire or not, I had to call her.
She picked up immediately. “Jack.”
“Jodie.” I murmured in return.
The conversation carried on in hushed whispers, while we exchanged polite formalities asking about the other's well being. It was hardly the late night, wanton phone call that two lovers might share when missing one another, but it was enough to fill me with sleepy happiness upon hearing her voice.
“I can't wait till you're back in Columbus. I feel so lazy when you're not around. I've gotten zero physical exercise in the last two weeks.” She admitted blatantly and made me glad I was in my room alone, so no one could see the flood of color on my cheeks.
I tried to keep my laugh low-key, to avoid waking anyone. “Two days, think you can last?”
“I don't know,” She purred. “I went shopping with Kate the other day and she noticed all the bruises, bite marks and scratches I usually have scattered over my body are fading. Which is a little sad, since I was so fond of them.” she sighed. “I'd like to have your hands, nails and teeth back on my skin and soon.”
I pressed my face into a pillow and replied in a muffled voice. “Jesus, could you be any more explicit?”
“Yes, I can be, if you want it to be that sort of conversation. I miss screaming your name as you–”
“Okay! Okay. You're done.” I abridged her x-rated comment and she dissolved into giggles over my reaction. She was far to proud of her effect on me. “You are done, right?”
“Because I haven't heard that question before.” She replied with so much snark I could feel it's bite from across the phone.
“Okay, you're obviously not done. God, you're so crude. Are you this crude with everyone?” I asked, hoping the answer was a negative.
“No, just men who cause mind-blowing orgasms. And so far in my life, that's only you.” She answered simply.
If I had been drinking something, I would've comically choked on it. But I wasn't, so I let my stunned feeling morph into a laugh. “High compliment coming from a woman who's slept with two men.”
Jodie snapped back, “You shouldn't assume things!”
“Jodie. Please.” I retorted, amused.
“Fine. You're right and you know it.”
But the damage was already done and my ego was inflated to roughly the size of a small mountain. I couldn't beat Mark, a man I didn't even know, out for much, but according to her there was at least one thing.
“I miss you.” She murmured after the line had been silent for a few moments.
Ah, the three magic words I had been dreading. But she said them first and I felt better. If only I could get the other three words out of my mouth that had been plaguing me. “I miss you too.”
“I'm not surprised. But anyway, so, I've recently discovered Columbus is a boring city. I went out to eat with Kate and some of her coworkers and they were all idiots. Then I mentioned you and they all freaked out. And I was like 'Hello, you work at the same place with him! Why are you flipping?' and they were all just like 'I have a signed jersey, wow he's cute, he was so great in the IIHF tournaments, omg', and I was ready to punch someone. And then Kate, oh God, told them we're dating and took me twenty minutes to convince them we aren't.” And back into her typical Jodie-must-complain-about-all attitude, she rolled into a rant about the many idiots of Ohio.
“Names and numbers and I'll call them personally.” I offered.
“And tell them they're dumb-asses?” She asked.
“No.” I replied firmly. “I would be nice. Offer to send memorabilia and kiss babies.”
“Of course you would.” She shot back “I momentarily forgot you aren't a douchebag. But I swear everyone in this city has an IQ so low it hardly registers. You should hop on a plane and fly home right this instant, it would be like a thirty minute trip, tops.”
“It would actually be much longer than that, but, nonetheless, I'm flattered. Problem is, I promised to stay two more days. And you're only alone right now by your own choice, I invited you to come with me.” I told her, it being the truth.
“I couldn't go with you. That would send the wrong message to people.” She replied.
That I'm nuts about you?, I thought bitterly, but let the 'wrong message' comment alone. I felt it was time to address the white elephant partially in her room and partially in mine. “Have you talked to Mark recently?”
“Um, random.” She said, but didn't continue.
“So you did.” I concluded from her silence.
She sighed. “Yes, he called yesterday.”
I leaned back into my pillow and closed my eyes. Great. That was probably where the 'wrong idea' jab and story about how we're not dating came from. She always seemed to color in the line between friends-who-have-sex and a relationship a little darker when he had been in contact. Though, in my opinion, friend-who-have-sex and relationship are nearly synonymous.
“I was going to tell you.” She said softy when I didn't reply. “But when you got home. He isn't back or anything. He just called to say hello and check up on me.”
“You don't have to tell me.” I answered, harsher than intended. “You've made it clear he's your guy, while I'm just a guy. One who you're sleeping with, but nonetheless, just a guy.”
“I told you from the beginning.” She adamantly replied and I groaned.
“Jo, you're my friend and I don't want to see you hurt.” Partial-lie, but it true enough to count. “I feel like he's no good for you, so hearing that's he's been in contact won't having me jumping for joy and clicking my heels.”
“That's a funny mental image.” She stated in jest, but I frowned.
“Jodie, come on.”
“Jack. It's really none of your business and I really don't want to talk about it.” She snapped in return.
“Fine.” I answered.
“Yeah, fine.” She mimicked.
“Goodbye then.” I said.
“Yeah, goodbye.” She mirrored again and ended the call with an angry clicking.
I got back into bed, seething. Sometime later my phone buzzed with a text from her that simply said Sorry, to which I replied It's fine, then shut my phone off and rolled over, ready for sleep to befall me.