Accept Me or Except Me

I got out of Danny’s car, and he threw the keys to me after he’d locked it. I hugged him. He understood me. I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t mean to, it was just… He was there, lonely and awkward, and I felt bad for him. And drunk. Very very drunk.

I walked down Matt’s perfect lawn to the front door. I breathed deeply and knocked, expecting his mom to answer, but it was Matt. He looked like shit. How could he let himself get like that? I know why.

“Matt, I’m so sorry for everything I did! I didn’t mean to do anything and I was drunk and confused and –“

“You’re apologizing?”

“It was me, Matt, not you. I did everything. I’m so, so sorry. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

I followed him up to his room, which wasn’t girly, but I was surprised he wasn’t embarrassed about it. Hardly anything embarrassed Matt, which was why I liked him so much. He sat on his bed, and I sat next to him, not worrying about being suggestive.

“Are you OK?” I asked.

“No,” he said simply. “I’ve been puking up all morning for a start, and then it sinks in. I did it – well, almost – with you, and I can’t forgive myself for letting that happen! I shouldn’t have done it, or stopped you. I don’t know! I’m so confused! I just felt…”

“I get what you felt, Matt. I was there too, remember?”

Matt stiffened. Had I gone too far? Surely not, since it was pretty obvious. He tried objecting, but I stopped him.

“That’s not gonna work, Matt. I get it. You’re gay.”

He looked defeated, but then relieved. I knew the feeling. Sad because it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but glad that it was over. I hugged him. It was the same friendly hug that he’d given me before. At the park. It felt like years ago, but it wasn’t.

“But… Lee… I’m not gay.”

I looked at him, with a puzzled expression before I realized what he was going to say, a split second before he actually said it.

“I’m pretty sure I’m bi, but are kinda guys are hotter.”

I laughed. I was happy. We weren’t like we were before, but we were friends and that was all I wanted. After about an hour, we both went to Danny’s car. I drove aimlessly while we thought of destinations. We tried to avoid anywhere couple-y. It took a while before we decided to go to shopping.

I won’t lie; we tried to gross each other out a bit. As a joke. Throughout the day, we made remarks to get to each other. He’d say something like:

“Look at this! A netted shirt? I know what you’re getting for your birthday!”

So later, at the food court, I’d say:

“Oh my god, these nachos. They’re delicious. Oh no, it’s all over my face! Give me a hand, will you?”
Then I’d rub the cheese on the sleeve of his shirt. We had fun. A lot of fun.

After a while, we decided just to go back to his. I needed to drop him off so I could get back to Danny, anyway. After the ride home, I decided to go back inside with Matt. I think I left my jacket there.

We walked in, and to our surprise, some guy was sitting on the couch. He was tall, had snowy skin and had short brown hair. He had a nice smile, a bit wide actually, and he had… oh my god. He had a double male symbol between his neck and his chest on his right. That was the gay symbol. Was he gay?
He stood up, and his smile widened. He shook both our hands.

“Hello,” he said in a British accent. “My name’s Laurence. I’m an exchange student. I’m staying with a Matt Reynolds?”