Accept Me or Except Me

It was only months until high school was over. I wanted to experience the college life and have fun without doing all the things I hate and the people I hate. I guess it’s easier to avoid someone in a college. I knew what I wanted to be: a psychologist.

Psychology is really interesting to me. A staggering amount of things on Earth are man-made, and the mind controls the man. Psychology is a study of the mind and it’s connected with everything. I really wanted to advance – my school isn’t too great with “abstract” subjects.

I was really interested, if not intrigued, by my dad’s sudden reaction to Danny. I mean, if I, even mom, can accept him, why can’t he? I began writing on it. A blinking line stood in front of my face as I stared at my laptop screen. A new Microsoft Word document was just waiting for me to fill it in – but how? I took a deep breath, paused, and started typing.

Homosexuality and How It is Viewed by People Today

I recently came out to my parents. To everyone, really, but for the sake of this report, we’ll focus on them. My mother is very religious and she didn’t take to it very lightly, but over time she has come to accept me. She’s a very firm believer in “Love thy neighbor” over whatever garbage the Westborough Baptist Church is spewing out, which is great. Religion should have no power over people who don’t follow that religion or people who are being themselves. There are many “Gay Churches” out there after all.

My father is a priest. He was more accepting when I first came out, but unfortunately, he’s had the opposite effect than mom. What I’m saying is: he’s kicked me out of the house. I’m not homeless, though. I’m staying with my boyfriend and my mom. She left with me. Dad saw me at Gay Pride with my boyfriend and he freaked. I don’t know whether he just can’t accept me anymore or whether he doesn’t like my boyfriend. He used to beat me up. True, that lasted a week, but it was the worst week of my life and it dragged. To me, anyway. Dad must have seen how upset I was and now he must not think I’m a good judge of character when I say he’s changed.

I don’t mean that in a “he has been reborn” kind of way. He hasn’t been “touched by the Lord”, if that’s what you thought. He just didn’t know how to control his feelings. Our relationship moved very quickly, especially for someone who wasn’t even out yet. We’ve also had a few rough patches with my other best friend falling in love with me and his best friend tying us up in the forest. He’s a good person, is what I’m trying to say. He wouldn’t hurt anybody of his own accord. I really think he acted like he thought was best. Society looks down on gays – not always, but still. You can take what you will from the media and the community, and he just happened to take the wrong things. Regarding gays, at least.

I like him. I really do. I’ve had a crush on him for years. For literally years I’ve been looking at him, cursing myself for not getting closer for him. And when I came out, I’m not going to lie, it was thrilling. I was hurt, and for the most part I hated it, but I’d be flat out lying if I said that the bad boy thing wasn’t turning me on. I didn’t wash my cheek for a week (in the metaphorical sense). Then we were sharing a room in the lodge and it was awkward and my stomach was churning but all the while I was excited, you know? Being so close was great for me. And it offered us a chance to be ourselves, away from whatever society thought of us. I guess that’s how he came out of his shell around me. He was free to experiment. He experimented on me, but at least he was nice to me, you know? Then I helped him be himself in public. Coincidentally, that’s what Laurence is doing with Matt now. Matt – well, he’s another story for another time.

I sighed and closed my laptop. I lied on Danny’s bed and let out another huge breath. How did I feel about Matt? I mean, I liked the guy, how could I not? I guess I wasn’t as comfortable as I thought. He loved me for God’s sake and now he’s all over Laurence. I’m not calling him a slag; he’s just all over the place at the moment. He gets attached too easily. I worry about him sometimes.

“Because I love you
No matter what you do,
Nothing can stop my inevitable fate
Of being alone ‘cause I am here,
Loving from afar,” sang a voice from the door.

“That was flat,” I said in monotone and looked over to Danny while still lying on his devilishly comfortable bed.

“I apologise, Mr Sandtime,” he said with a flourish and bounced as he lied down next to me.

“It’s Sondheim. Learn your composers.”

“Did I miss a class or are you just full of random, useless facts that are an utter waste of time?”

“Mean.”

“Well, I used the word ‘utter’, didn’t I? That counts for something, right?” he asked as he turned his face to look at me.

“You call that an advanced word?”

“You’re not nice,” he pouted.

“Ah, you’re cute when you pout,”

“Hey!” he sat up. “I am the male of this relationship! I am not cute! You’re cute!”

“Danny,” I lifted my elbows and rested upon them, “there is no ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ in this relationship. We’re gay. We’re both boys. That’s kind of the idea. I find any gay guy who only goes for feminine guys because they think it makes them less gay terribly irritating.”

“I’m sorry, princess,” he smiled as he leant down to kiss me.

Danny was clingy today. Maybe he was touched by the Lord.