Accept Me or Except Me

I didn’t mean for it to happen like it did. I just couldn’t live with my son seeing that boy. I couldn’t let him into my house. I just couldn’t let him touch my flesh and blood. I just couldn’t.

I sighed. I was reading my father’s blog to see if he had anything to say about me. Surprise, surprise, he did. The blog itself was alright. It had quite a few subscribers, but it was very oriented around his job, so there were Christian commercials all around the page.

I’m sorry to say that my son no longer lives with me. He used to be bullied about his sexuality by this boy. For the sake of being civil, I won’t release his name, but he was, from the outside, what any man would love their son to be. They would, except for the fact that no parent would want a son who hurts another being, another one of God’s creatures. My son took a strange liking to the boy, and all of a sudden they announced that they were dating.

I have no problem with my son being a homosexual, and I can safely say that my Christian views are not those of the Westborough Baptist Church, but this boy just wasn’t the kind of teenager I wanted my son being around. My son can love who he loves, but as a father I feel like it is my duty to make sure that he loves him back. From what I saw, he doesn’t.

I scoffed. The damn hypocrite! The words he were saying were nice enough but to kick your son out of your home and then criticize someone else as not loving them enough is despicable. I sighed. At least he was being as honest as his reputation could afford. At least he wasn’t bad mouthing me and my sexuality.

Currently, my son is living with his boyfriend because they believe that I am not being reasonable with my concerns. My wife has joined them because she disagrees. Because of this, I deeply regret my actions.

Hold on. What’s this?

I will not tear my family apart because of my son’s silly little teenage relationship. I have my doubts, and I suppose the relationship won’t last forever. My son is a strong boy, but he will be upset however the relationship ends, by breakup, divorce or death. I will just have to accept that, since the damage my family would receive would be devastating if I don’t. I want them home. After all, the Nickelson family is strong and we can help each other because we are Americans, and it’s what we do. Like Nickelfather, like Nickelson.

I couldn’t believe it. After I’d finished scoffing at the terrible pun, I was leaping out of bed to tell mom. I left my laptop unattended on my bed and treaded downstairs to find my mom and Ms. Jockling having a chat in the kitchen. They were both sipping wine coolly. I jumped into the kitchen, trying to decide whether I was happy or sad. I mean, the news was great, but I didn’t want to stop living with my boyfriend since we hadn’t been doing so for that long.

“Mom!”

“Yes, honey?” she raised an eyebrow and took a sip of red wine.

“Dad wants us back home!” my eyes sparkled. We were finally going to be a real, supportive family again.

Mom did a classic spit take and stained hear green fitted woolen blazer, “What!?”

“He said in his blog that he’s sorry, isn’t that great?”

Mom smiled and nodded her head. She brought me in for a hug. I was so happy. I have dreamed of this day since even before I came out. I was a bit distant earlier this year, but I felt like we were getting closer, and I couldn’t wait.

Mom’s cell rang. It was in her purse, which was on the clean, white countertop next to me. I passed it to her and she answered in a perky tone.

I couldn’t hear who was on the other side, but Mom’s expression didn’t alter a bit. She mouthed at me, ‘It’s your father’. Danny’s mom quickly left the kitchen to let us have a ‘family moment’. I sat on the kitchen island, waiting to hear about the conversation.

“Actually, he’s here with me now. Do you want to talk to him?” she smiled at me.

She passed the thin device back to me and I put it to my ear expectantly. “Son?”

“Hi, Dad. How are you?”

“I could be better. Have you seen my blog?”

“I just saw it a coupla minutes ago, actually. It’s great, Dad.”

“I guess, even when I was writing that, I was a bit harsh on you and Danny, but I’ve been in protective Dad mode, and I haven’t been dealing with my priorities very well.”

“Well, as long as everything’s good, everything’s good, right?”

“No hard feelings?”

“No hard feelings.” I felt like if we were in the same room, we would have had a strong handshake with a comical nod.

“Can you pass me back to your mom, please, son?”

I gave the cell back to Mom again and she smiled and nodded to whatever Dad was saying. “OK, see you soon, then.”

After ending the call and placing her cell back in her purse, she turned to me with a smile. “He’s coming over soon.”

I stayed on the kitchen island and talked to Mom for about twenty minutes. I missed just talking to my mom. She was a really nice person and she always had something interesting to say about anything, even if it was just a new cross necklace she’d bought.

There was a knock on the door. I ran over to it and opened the door expectantly.

“Dad?”

Suddenly I was smothered by Danny’s huge arms around me. His face was warm and it dug into the crook of my neck.

“I don’t want him to leave,” he sobbed, once he’d brought his gaze up from my shoulder and into my eyes. “Laurence he can’t – he can’t just leave like that,” he sniffed.