It All Dies With Him

Today is the day. Today is the day my husband is coming home; the father of my children, my best friend, the love of my life. Matthew and I have been married for eighteen beautiful years. We were high school sweethearts and then we ended up marrying right after high school. Just three months after marriage, I was pregnant with our first child, Maria. The day she was born, was the happiest day of our lives. Eight years after Maria, our second daughter, baby Emma arrived.

We have always kept a strong bond within our family. Needless to say, with my husband’s military career it is quite difficult. When Maria and Emma were growing up, we were always moving; France, England, New York, Tennessee. But somehow throughout all that moving, my girls always had a smile on their faces. Maybe it was because they knew that no matter what, they had two parents who love them to death. Or maybe it was because they knew their daddy was a hero, and that has made all the difference. Yes, that has made all the difference and that is why when I look at their face, I see love, and purity, and happiness.

Matthew was gone on average about 8 months out of the year, and that is the most difficult thing to face when raising little girls. Nevertheless, no matter how hard things got for us, the 2 months that their daddy was here, were always the best. Every time he came home from a tour, he would just jump back into our family like he never even missed a beat. It was heart-warming Matthew would scoop the girls up into his arms and they would tell them anything and everything that has happened in their lives while he was gone.

His last deployment was the hardest for us. It was announced that he would be deployed to somewhere in Afghanistan to fight on the front lines. He would be deployed for two years. Maria and Emma were 16 and 8 when he left. The day he was leaving, was the hardest. You would think that after his many deployments in his life, I would become used to leaving my husband to the pits of hell, right? Wrong. During each day of his deployment, I still get the same tears in my eyes, the same pain in my heart, and the same fear lurking inside of me that there is a strong possibility that I may never see my husband again.

But today, all of the fear, and the angst, it all dies. After a very long two years, and two very scared children counting down the days of when Daddy’s coming home, had finally reached an end. Every time Daddy left for “work” as we called it in front of Emma, we would count down the days left until he comes home on a huge calendar that was hung up in her room. And every morning she woke up, she would go to the calendar and cross of another day; another day closer until Daddy is home.

After the girls and I got dressed, we got seated into my Escalade and preceded down to the airport. We had to leave the house very early since we had to go all the way from Phoenix to Los Angeles. Once we got there, we walked through the airport where a special terminal was set up for the brigade of soldiers coming home today. There were a total of about 250 American soldiers coming home. When we got to the terminal set up in LAX we were astounded by the huge amount of families, some with children, some with not, waiting for their loved ones to come down the escalators and run into their arms.

“Mommy, why are there so many people here?” Emma asked as she hugged my waist.

“Emma darling, there are many soldiers coming home today. These are all families waiting for the soldiers they love to come home,” I explained simply.

“They love someone like we love Daddy,” she asked as she looked up at me with those shining blue eyes.

“Yes honey, very much.”

We stood around the cluster of families. Some were mingling with other, but most just kept to themselves, obviously excited to see their loved ones come home. And finally, the moment has come.

“Ladies and gentleman: Flight 103 from Afghanistan has just boarded. Welcome home,” We heard on the loud speaker above us.

There was suddenly a huge adrenaline rush, run through the room. Everyone turned towards the escalators to see the soldiers come into view. The first soldier appeared. As he rode down the escalator, his eyes were scattering around the crowd below him as he tried to find his family. When his eyes set upon them, his face formed the most beautiful smile. When he got down the stairs, he quickly ran up to the family. He kissed his wife on the cheek and gave her a huge hug. He then knelt down to the little baby on the floor gave it a kiss on the forehead. He gave hugs and kisses to an elderly couple who I presumed were his parents. And as I was watching this, I could not wait for the same picture to happen to me.

I continued my gaze on the escalator. Another soldier. Three more. A couple more. I felt Emma’s grip on me tighten as she was growing impatient to see her daddy.

In the crowd we heard a loud shriek from a little girl, who probably could not have been more than seven. “Mommy!” she screamed as she ran up to a woman who had just come down. She held a camouflage duffel bag and a matching army suit on. She had a perpetual smile on her face as she knelt down and smothered her daughter with the most loving hugs and kisses.

Where is he? I was beginning to wonder.

I looked back at the escalator. A little cluster of soldiers became visible, none of which was my husband. A couple more came down. After a couple seconds, another cluster down, and my husband was still not there.

“Mommy, where is he?” Emma said with a worried look in her gorgeous eyes.

“He’ll be here soon, Emma,” I said reassuringly although, it was probably more reassuring for me than it was her.

I again focused my attention on the escalator. A few more. Two there. And then the faces from the escalators stopped appearing.

After the last cluster got to the ground, I prayed to God that it wasn’t the last of the soldiers. I did not panic, though. I looked around the terminal. Maybe I had missed him. Yes that was it. I missed him and he hasn’t found us yet. I refused to think of the alternate.

“Mommy…”Emma started but I ignored her voice that was filled with worries.

I took hold of her tiny hand and started walking around the terminal. He has to be around here somewhere. We walked around the maze of happy, cheerful families, and we were anything but.

“Maria, take Emma for a second. I’m going to talk to the flight authority,” I said and nodded towards the little desk with a couple security guards and soldiers in uniform standing around.

I walked up to the desk, while saying a silent prayer for my husband. Please God, let him be okay.

“Excuse me,” I asked politely to the officer around the table. “I’m looking for my husband. He was supposed to come home today. I got his flight itinerary last week that said he was supposed to come home today,” my heart started beating out of my chest.

“Okay ma’am. We can definitely check if he was on that plane. What is your husband’s name?”

“Matthew Morralo. Captain Matthew Morralo,” I stated simply. At the sound of my husband’s name, two officer’s in uniform turned around and looked at me. Their eyes were a mixture of sympathy, or surprise, or…. I couldn’t really tell.

“Ma’am, are you Lee?” One of the young officers asked me. He was probably in his younger twenties.

“Yes, I am,” I said. I looked back at my two daughters. God, please let him be alright.

The two soldiers looked at each other.

“Ma’am, we tried calling your house this morning but no one picked up…,” the soldier started but his words ran off.

“Captain Morralo,” the young soldier started. My heart was beating faster and faster. God no, please no. “Captain Morralo, and his command was killed by a roadside bomb yesterday morning.”

And just like that, my world stopped spinning. My heart missed a beat. My stomach dropped. I thought about all the times he was deployed; all the feelings of fear, and hurt, and sorrow. But today, all of the fear, and the angst, it all dies.

And it all dies, because my husband died with them.