I Swear I've Seen Your Face Before.

It's my first day at Dulaney High School. I'm nervous, but only slightly. I should be okay. I know that everyone is already half way through the school year, so if they want to make friends with the new kid, cool. If they don't I'm really not interested. I never really had many friends. Obviously, I had my few close friends, but that's all. I've had girls all over me, using me for sex, but none of them ever satisfied me enough. They neve compared to one certain girl.

This girl was my life. She was my everything. I would do absolutely anything for her. This girl is the only girl I have ever loved, and will probably only ever love. Not one girl that's entered my life after her has ever made me feel they way I did with her. We had been together for two years. Okay, so we're young, but we were happy with eachother. At least I thought we were. That was until the 27th November 2002. My world came crashing down when I found out that she had up and left England with no warning, not a single word was exchanged.

I never found out where she had gone. Her mom refused to tell me because apparently she had told her mom to not tell me. I had no idea what I'd done wrong. Infact, I still don't know what I did wrong. I don't think I have ever been as happy as I was when we were together. She was perfect. Her name was Taylor.

When she up and left, that was when my, I guess you could say "bad behaviour" started. I started heavily drinking. I started using girls for sex. I started going to parties and not telling my parents where I was going or when I'd be home. Not coming home until 2-3 in the morning absolutely fucking wasted.bunking off school. Damn it, you name it, I most more than likely did it.

I believe that my life was pretty much useless and I was nothing but a worthless piece of shit. I've calmed down a little bit now. Even I know that I can't live like that forever. Still, there isn't ever a day that goes past where I don't think of her. I've never forgotton her, and I don't think I ever will. It's hard to forget a girl like Tay, especially since she gave me so much to remember. Everything used to remind me of her and each night I'd go home and break down in tears. It was a sad sight to see according to my mom and dad, because they knew that nothing they did could ever help me get over her. In the end, they sent me to a psychologist because they couldn't cope anymore. It didn't help though, in fact I think it did quite the opposite.

Before everything happened I was an outspoken person. I'd talk to people if I needed to. I'd trust people. That's my main issue now. It's like I have forgotten how to trust. Obviously, you don't just 'forget' how to trust, I just choose not to. Why should I? The only girl, hell, the only person I trusted with everything broke me into tiny little pieces. All that I can say is that it hurt. A lot. I've never been the same since.

Anyway, back to me. That's enough of my past for the moment. It's nearly half past seven, my first day at Dulaney starts in almost two hours. My mom woke me up and told me that someone was coming at around nine o'clock and said to me that I had to be ready before then, and I had to have had my breakfast before.

So, here I am pretty much tearing my room to pieces trying to find something to put on after I've have a nice, refreshing shower. I ended up finding out a pair of skinny jeans (my favourite pair - the 'murrica jeans) and a plain white V-neck. I jumped in the shower, thoughts running through my head about who was coming at nine in the morning, and why the hell my mom still wanted them to be here half an hour before school started.

I just hope she hasn't decided to find me a friend again, because it always ends bad. I need to find my own friends for once. Although, I guess it would be nice to have someone to start my first day with.