More Than I Bargained For
Why Me?
~Lacey~
What did I do to deserve this?.. Honestly. I've always been a good person, even to strangers. Why would somebody hurt me so bad? I'm not sure if it's the mood swings, but I've never EVER felt like this before. This has been the best relationship of my life. Harry seemed to truely love me.. What happened? Why didn't he love me anymore? Why would he cheat on me?
All I wanted was to get a recipe off the internet; I got distracted. I came across an article about Harry being in trouble. Why wouldn't he tell me about his "trouble"? I clicked on the link and read the story. I knew about Harry's ways before we even got together, but I never expected this. He was too nice of a guy to do something like this, and you can't always believe what you read on the internet. I didn't believe it until I saw the pictures of him getting a lap dance from some random chick at the club.. I don't care if it was just a dance or if they went all the way, this wasn't okay. I wouldn't allow myself to be hurt.
He called me about 20 times before finally giving up. I turned my phone off and started packing up some of my belongings. I knew Harry was busy, but he could easily sneak off again to win me over before going back to promoting. I didn't want to see him though. Not now, not ever. I don't care how dramatic I sound, I don't care how short this relationship has been, it really hurts. I thought we would last. I decided I would stay with a friend, she doesn't live too far away from my college campus.
"Lacey.. You need to calm down, sweetie. This stress isn't good for the baby."
My friend watched me pace back and forth. She was right. I had to stop thinking about Harry, that's why I came here anyways. She confiscated my phone so I couldn't read anymore tweets or articles.
"Speaking of the baby.. What are you going to do now? Do you still want to give it up for adoption?"
Good question. I thought about it for awhile. I chose adoption because I knew it was the best option, but I knew I couldn't do this without Harry. This may sound ridiculous, but I really needed him for emotional support. I wouldn't be able to give my baby away to somebody else without someone who could hold me tight and reassure me that we made the right decision.
"No.. Without him, I just can't.. I'm keeping my baby"
I smiled a little and put a hand on my slowly forming baby bump. What am I thinking?.. I don't know a thing about kids and I'm far from financially stable. As much as I want to be one of those strong single moms, I knew I couldn't do it. My baby needs a better life than what I can offer.
"Seriously?? Oh my god, I'm so happy! You can move in if you want, I promise I'll help you with everything!"
She kept babbling on about how this would be amazing and I was making the right decision. As much as I wanted to believe her, this didn't seem right. She's not responsible for the baby, she shouldn't have to spend her hard earned money helping me. I just agreed to move in so I wouldn't have to worry about the subject anymore. I am so close to a nervous breakdown.
~Harry~
Louis walked around the room angrily. He looked exactly like my mom after the first time she caught me drunk. I screwed up bad, and Louis wanted to make sure I knew that. He's been lecturing me for awhile now. Louis never liked to get involve with my personal life, but this was an exception. I cheated. I cheated on my pregnant girlfriend. With a stranger. I deserved to be yelled at. I really did. I'm a jackass. I don't even deserve Lacey..
"You know, you're lucky if she even lets you see your kid.."
"We chose adoption.."
"Do you honestly think she can cope without you.. I mean think about it, she''d be giving up her first child. But there's no boyfriend or husband to be there to help her through this touch time.."
Louis was right.. As usual. I feel like such a prick! How could I do this to her? I know I'm used to fixing my problems by drinking, but I can't do that anymore.. Not if I want to keep my girlfriend. I doubt she ever wants to see me again, so I shouldn't even call her my girlfriend anymore. Maybe.. Just maybe, she'll be willing to give me a second chance. There's a 3 month old child slowly growing inside of her. I have to be there for him or her. I can't lose what could possibly become a family.
What did I do to deserve this?.. Honestly. I've always been a good person, even to strangers. Why would somebody hurt me so bad? I'm not sure if it's the mood swings, but I've never EVER felt like this before. This has been the best relationship of my life. Harry seemed to truely love me.. What happened? Why didn't he love me anymore? Why would he cheat on me?
All I wanted was to get a recipe off the internet; I got distracted. I came across an article about Harry being in trouble. Why wouldn't he tell me about his "trouble"? I clicked on the link and read the story. I knew about Harry's ways before we even got together, but I never expected this. He was too nice of a guy to do something like this, and you can't always believe what you read on the internet. I didn't believe it until I saw the pictures of him getting a lap dance from some random chick at the club.. I don't care if it was just a dance or if they went all the way, this wasn't okay. I wouldn't allow myself to be hurt.
He called me about 20 times before finally giving up. I turned my phone off and started packing up some of my belongings. I knew Harry was busy, but he could easily sneak off again to win me over before going back to promoting. I didn't want to see him though. Not now, not ever. I don't care how dramatic I sound, I don't care how short this relationship has been, it really hurts. I thought we would last. I decided I would stay with a friend, she doesn't live too far away from my college campus.
"Lacey.. You need to calm down, sweetie. This stress isn't good for the baby."
My friend watched me pace back and forth. She was right. I had to stop thinking about Harry, that's why I came here anyways. She confiscated my phone so I couldn't read anymore tweets or articles.
"Speaking of the baby.. What are you going to do now? Do you still want to give it up for adoption?"
Good question. I thought about it for awhile. I chose adoption because I knew it was the best option, but I knew I couldn't do this without Harry. This may sound ridiculous, but I really needed him for emotional support. I wouldn't be able to give my baby away to somebody else without someone who could hold me tight and reassure me that we made the right decision.
"No.. Without him, I just can't.. I'm keeping my baby"
I smiled a little and put a hand on my slowly forming baby bump. What am I thinking?.. I don't know a thing about kids and I'm far from financially stable. As much as I want to be one of those strong single moms, I knew I couldn't do it. My baby needs a better life than what I can offer.
"Seriously?? Oh my god, I'm so happy! You can move in if you want, I promise I'll help you with everything!"
She kept babbling on about how this would be amazing and I was making the right decision. As much as I wanted to believe her, this didn't seem right. She's not responsible for the baby, she shouldn't have to spend her hard earned money helping me. I just agreed to move in so I wouldn't have to worry about the subject anymore. I am so close to a nervous breakdown.
~Harry~
Louis walked around the room angrily. He looked exactly like my mom after the first time she caught me drunk. I screwed up bad, and Louis wanted to make sure I knew that. He's been lecturing me for awhile now. Louis never liked to get involve with my personal life, but this was an exception. I cheated. I cheated on my pregnant girlfriend. With a stranger. I deserved to be yelled at. I really did. I'm a jackass. I don't even deserve Lacey..
"You know, you're lucky if she even lets you see your kid.."
"We chose adoption.."
"Do you honestly think she can cope without you.. I mean think about it, she''d be giving up her first child. But there's no boyfriend or husband to be there to help her through this touch time.."
Louis was right.. As usual. I feel like such a prick! How could I do this to her? I know I'm used to fixing my problems by drinking, but I can't do that anymore.. Not if I want to keep my girlfriend. I doubt she ever wants to see me again, so I shouldn't even call her my girlfriend anymore. Maybe.. Just maybe, she'll be willing to give me a second chance. There's a 3 month old child slowly growing inside of her. I have to be there for him or her. I can't lose what could possibly become a family.
♠ ♠ ♠
Another short one, sorryyy!