Ian Matters

I'm pushing the cart behind her down through one of the too narrow grocery aisles in the store and at the other end of the aisle there he is, peeking at her pretty curiously. He's taller then the both of us and he's handsome as hell in his jeans and his white tee shirt. We stroll right by him and I can't believe the disappointment I suddenly feel when we leave the aisle without a word from him.
Maybe there's part of me hoping a guy will grow a pair of nads and approach Sal at last. Her beauty is intimidating, even to me sometimes, but it's not like there's a rule above her head that says you can't speak to her unless spoken to.
We're a couple aisles over now, looking for cereal. The car isn't very full. It used to have more in it, but Sal put half of the stuff back because she decided she didn't want any of it. She told me she was just hungry. It was a rule her mother had told her; never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You'll buy the entire store and be broke off your ass with a load of food that, at the end of the day, you don't even want.
“What cereal do you want?” She asks me, a finger to her lips. She doesn't take her eyes off of the cereals.
“Whatever you want.” I reply, bored, because I am. Bored as hell. Sal enjoys grocery shopping, I do not. Sal can get a kick out of some pretty boring stuff sometimes, I'll tell you. And she takes forever, too. She's the worst at making decisions if it's not an easy no. She usually ends up saying no anyway.
When we finally make it out of the aisle I get a flicker of hope when we bump into that same handsome man who'd been eying Sal in the other aisle. I almost smile when she nearly walks right into him and he utters out a, “Oh, god, sorry.” And looks up to see her. I can pinpoint the exact moment the guy looks at her and really just falls head first in lust. I have experience doing that, it's not exactly the first time a guys got a close look at Sal and had naughty thoughts invade their head.
She just grunts back at him, without looking at who it was that bumped into her. Maybe to avoid homicidal dreams involving them. Sal see's red sometimes and it's not pretty. She can have a pretty bad temper and if she doesn't get pissed at you for bumping into her it's either a really good day for you or she's looking to get you in bed. On occasion it gets pretty serious and she has rage blackouts. She threw a rock through our French teachers window once because she failed a pop quiz, going on and on about how she only failed because the dumb bitch couldn't teach to save her damned ass. It was a bit scary, actually. She was only like fourteen, but you never saw a girl so angry, I swear. “It's fine.” She's not thrilled with the inconvenience.
He stares just briefly as she turns to head into the next aisle before he stops her. Really just reaches out and touches her arm. She turns back to him, giving him an expectant look that has just a hint of impatience in it. I can see her lose track of herself real quick when she see's the guy and his big blue eyes staring back at her. Sal certainly is a sucker for blue eyes.
He looks like he's going to mention how nice her hair is or how pretty she is and in my head I yell on repeat for him not to. He hasn't noticed me, but I'm so fucking relieved when he just introduces himself instead.
“Jake.” He offers his hand for a shake. She stares at him. Her eyelids droop a bit. I nearly slam my palm into my forehead.
You have to do something pretty outstanding to impress Sal on your first impression. I guess people assume that so maybe that's why men never approach her. People think she's a snob, because they think she walks around like she knows she's beautiful. That's just how she walks. Sal has always had too-good posture.
This guy, though. I have to hand it to him. You have to respect the guy for trying.
So, needless to say, I'm surprised when she humours him. But not too surprised, it's pretty obvious she wouldn't mind laying with him. Maybe even more then once. The only guy who'd ever really done that is Frank, and those two don't even like each other. “Sal.”
The only way this plane isn't going to crash is if I kick my way into the cockpit.
“Salinger.” I barge in, “Her name is Salinger. I'm Ian.” I take his hand and shake it because I know Sal isn't going to.
He gives me a nod, but he only takes his eyes off of Sal for a second to look at me before he's looking back at her. He smiles. He has a good smile. “I... noticed you in the other aisle.”
“How observant.” She comments, it's really dry. It makes the air dry is how dry it is. “Is there something you want?” She gets right to it, but it's the longest I've seen her take before just coming right out with it. I'm impressed.
He smiles and his eyes squint just a bit. The guy is perfect for Sal. Everything he does is pretty, just like her. I kind of want them to procreate. “Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?” Oh, wrong move.
She squints back at him, but it's not nearly as kind as his. It's narrow and offended. “I don't drink.”
“Coffee.” He suggests, she squints a little harder at him.
“I don't date.” Sal was tough, do you see? But she wasn't dishonest. She didn't drink, she didn't date. She just fucked and that's it.
It was becoming obvious to this guy just how tough she was, but he didn't seem disheartened by it at all. I was even more impressed. “No date.” He agrees with her then – the guy is persistent. If there's one attribute you'll need to even attempt courting Sal, it's persistence. The guy is a maybe. He has potential. But I'll have to teach him. “Just coffee.”
“Why?” She asks, her arms are crossing. The plane is going down, plummeting. Right into the middle of the goddamn ocean. No lifeboats or preservers, just cold, wet death.
“How about I give you her number and you can call her?” I butt in again, suggesting. He looks at me, I give him an urging look. He hesitates at me, confused, but nods.
“Alright”
I can spot Sal giving me her look out of the corner of my eye, but I'm doing this for her own good. She can't keep objectifying guys like she does. Well, she can, but it's not going to lead her anywhere good. I've decided already this had to happen at some point, because when we get older I don't want to end up with a depressing cougar who won't settle for a best friend.