Fuel to the Fire

I didn't have work today but I did go there to get a coffee. Amy was at university and she had work later. I had nothing to do, I sat on the couch and watched the telly all day. I was getting more and more excited and nervous. Sometimes I couldn't breathe and I had to open a window and stick my head outside. I was getting worked up and I had to call Amy to calm me down. I hadn't had a date in a really long time. I hadn't had a boyfriend in a really long time either.

Amy came home at six and helped me get ready. I got dressed in my skinny jeans and one of the tops that I bought. I brushed my teeth before I put on mascara and Amy curled my hair for me.

"Okay, you look perfect." She turned off the iron and set it down. I stood up and grabbed vans, slipping them on before grabbing my jacket and a small purse. I brought it over my head and onto my left shoulder.

"Aww, you look so cute." She brought her phone out and I laughed. "Smile!" I smiled and she took the picture.

"I'm so sending it to Josh." I blushed and we walked downstairs.

I froze when the doorbell rang. "Go get it!" Amy pushed me.

I breathed in and out before I opened the door and met the blue eyes. I smiled before he wrapped an arm around my waist and hugged me.

"Ready to go?"

I nodded. "Bye Amy!"

"You kids behave!" I laughed and shut the door behind me.

I got into his car and smiled at him.

"You look stunning, love."

I blushed, "Thank you."

A silence came between us for a few minutes while he drove but I broke it. "So where are we going?"

"Nando's." He smiled. "Matt suggested KFC but I said no."

I laughed at Matt and his love for KFC. He even had custom picks from them.

He pulled into the parking lot and we got out. It was freezing again, like it always was. He took my hand and we walked through the doors. We got a table and I smiled over at him.

"Hungry?"

I shrugged, "Kinda."

»

I didn't eat that much but I still had fun. I always had fun with Dan. He paid after I begged him to let me pay for half of it but he insisted.

We walked around the dark town for a little and he held my hand, his fingers between mine.

"Do you think it would be weird if I asked you to stay over?"

"Um, very." I saw him put his head down and I laughed.

"I'm kidding." I smiled, squeezing his hand and moving closer to him. "I'd love too."

He looked down at me. "Really?"

I nodded. "Okay, let's head back."

We walked back to the car and hopped in. I took my phone out and texted Amy.

Sleeping over at Dan's!

I locked it and waited a few minutes before it vibrated and I opened it.

Getting some arse on the first date, eh?

I laughed, typing back.

I'm just giving you the house for you and Josh to hang out(;

I got a text back immediately.

Good idea. I'll call him(:

Have fun!

I locked my phone again and put it in my pocket.

We arrived at an apartment building and I got out after Dan did. He walked up the stairs to the second floor, me following behind him. I watched him open the door and he moved inside, letting me pass by him.

His flat was a decent size and like any other flat really.

I took my shoes off and left them by the door and he took my jacket, hanging it on the rack.

»

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head then leaned against Dan again.

"Tired?" He chuckled.

I looked up at him and nodded.

He clicked off the telly and took my hand, walking me into his bedroom. I stood awkwardly in his room while he turned on the light.

"Do you want a shirt of mine and boxers?"

I nodded.

He went over to his dresser and rummaged through it. I looked around at his room and smiled at his You Me At Six record. I looked back over at him with the clothes in his hand and took them from him.

"I'll use the loo, you can get changed in here." I watched him walk out and I got changed quickly. I put his boxers over my underwear and folded them over twice. I placed my clothes on the floor and waited for him to come back. I stood awkwardly again with my arms behind me. I watched the door open and a shirtless Dan in basketball shorts walk in and close the door behind himself. He threw his clothes somewhere and I just stood there, watching him. He smiled at me and walked forward, taking my hand in his. He led me to the side of his bed and he crawled onto it and I followed him.

I was so stiff, you would mistake me for a freaking pole. I don't know why but I had butterflies in my stomach and I was just stiff. I got under the covers like he did and laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

I felt him turn his head, "Did you like it?"

"Mhm, it was good."

I was still stiff and I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was tapping my foot and he spoke after a few more minutes.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, it's just," I swallowed and sat up. He sat up to and put his hand on my arm. "Where's the loo?" I got up out of bed and opened the bedroom door. I looked across the hall and ran into the bathroom, closing it behind me.

My knees hit the cold floor and my head hovered over the white bowl. I reached up, poking at the squishy muscle and felt the food coming up. I hurled out the contents from my stomach and heard a knock at the door.

"Ali, are you okay?" Dan's voice was muffled by the door and I hurled again before I answered him.

"Fine, just wait out there." I coughed and hurled again.

He knocked again and I wiped my mouth. I brushed my hair back and stood up, flushing the loo.

"Ali, are you okay?" He asked again.

"Just wait out there Dan," I sighed. I leaned my hands on the counter and looked into the mirror. I looked terrible. I had dark circles under my eyes and I was pale. I turned away from the mirror and the door when Dan came in.

"Ali? What happened?" He touched my lower back.

"Nothing Dan, I'm fine." I rubbed at my eyes and I just wished that I wasn't so pale.

I brushed my hair back before he made me turn around. I turned away from his eyes and hid my face, making a curtain with my hair.

"Ali, look at me." He said quietly

"No"

He grabbed my chin lightly and turned my face to his. I looked down so I couldn't see his face, I didn't want to when he realized what happened.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I just got sick." I sighed.

"Why? Is it from the food? Do you have a cold?" He started asking me all these questions and I was losing it. I didn't want to tell him.

"I don't have a cold. And it's not from the food." I looked up at his eyes and they were filled with worry. My eyes watered over and I swallowed the lump back. I had a feeling that he wouldn't give this up.

"What's wrong? I'm worried about you, love." He rubbed my arm and I looked down again.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I made myself throw up." I whispered. He froze. I was just waiting for him to step away from me and leave.

"What?"

I licked my lip, "I made myself throw up." I said it a little louder this time. I stared at his chest, not wanting to see what was in his eyes.

"Why would you do that?" He still had his hand on my arm but he wasn't rubbing it.

I shook my head and stepped away from him, wrapping my arms around my middle.

I looked up at him and my eyes watered again. "I make myself throw up Dan. I don't eat very much and when I do, I make myself throw up. I'm a bulimic, okay? Go ahead, judge me. Call me names and leave." I felt a tear slip out and I wiped it.

He stepped closer again and put both of his hands on my upper arms. "I will never judge you, Ali. I don't care if you're a bulimic, you can get better if you work at it. You're already beautiful. You don't need to do this to yourself." He lifted his hand up and rubbed his thumb on my cheek. He wiped at another tear that fell out and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms all the way around him and hugged him tight.

A few more tears came out and I sighed against him. He made me content and he made me feel safe.

He pulled away from me but I kept my arms around him. "Let's get you to bed."

"Not with this breath." I shook my head and he laughed.

"I don't have an extra brush but there's mouthwash."

I nodded and grabbed the bottle. He went back to his room and I gurgled the mouthwash twice.

I turned off the light and walked into his dark room, closing the door behind me. I crawled onto the bed and got under the covers.

"You smell minty," he chuckled.

I smiled and turned over onto my side, facing him.

"Sorry you had to find out like that."

I felt his hand on my cheek and he started to rub it. "You're already beautiful and you don't need to change anything about yourself. You're perfect."

I smiled again and moved closer to him. He put his arm around my shoulder and I brought my hand up, running my fingers up and down his bicep.

"Thank you."

He kissed my forehead, "Sleep love."