Fuel to the Fire

I leaned my back against the tombstone and looked up at the sky.

It was my monthly visit to the cemetery that my grandmother was in. She was my best friend and I used to go to her for boy advice when I was in high school. 

"I don't even know what I did to make him stop." I sighed.

After another ten minutes, I said my goodbyes and got up, heading toward my car. It was a silent drive home and I saw a car in the driveway. I locked my car before I walked up the path and inside. I set my shoes by the door and walked into the living room. 

I stopped when my eyes met blue ones. The boys were all here today and I felt a lump in my throat. I bit my lip and walked past them up the stairs. I closed my door hard and tore off my jacket, throwing it on the ground.

I turned toward my door when I heard a soft knock on it. I ripped it open and came face to face with him.

The lump grew bigger and I moved away from the door without saying anything else. I sat on the end of my bed, bringing my knees up to my chest and leaning my chin on my knees. I heard him close the door and he came over to me. I felt the bed shift as he sat next to me and I wiped at my cheek.

"Please don't cry," he whispered.

I looked over at him. "What did I even do?"

He sighed, "Nothing."

"Then what the hell is your problem!" I turned towards him, ready to stand.

"Please, just calm down."

"No Dan! Tell me what the fuck I did to make you hate me!"

"Love, I don't hate you. I just.. It's complicated."

I relaxed a little at him calling me love but I was still mad.

I scoffed, "What is so complicated, Daniel?"

He sighed, "Just forget it."

"No! Tell me!" I wanted to tear my hair out.

"My feelings for you! Okay?"

I just looked at him. "How are your feelings for me complicated? It's either you like me or you don't like me." I crossed my arms.

"I like you Ali. A lot."

"Was that so hard?"

"There's more than that though."

"Tell me then. Make me understand this." I pointed between me and him.

"I stopped talking to you because I was scared."

"Scared about what?" 

"Scared about opening up to you."

I looked at him and he continued, "I started closing up to people when my.. When my.."

"Just spit it out."

"When my dad died."

I could feel that my mouth was open a little. My hand came over my mouth slowly and I moved closer to him.

"My last girlfriend used me. And I stopped opening up to people after that."

"I-I'm sorry." I swallowed.

"No, I'm sorry for ignoring you. I should've let you know first or something."

I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I meant about your dad hun," I mumbled against his shoulder.

I pulled away from him. "I won't use you Dan." I shook my head. "I promise I won't hurt you like that."

I held his hand and kissed his cheek. "Let's just forget about me being an arse and go back to the way it was. Please, it was so much better then."

I nodded and hugged him again. 

I felt terrible for his loss. There is nothing like losing one of your parents, even though I never experienced it, but it was still terrible.

"Film night's starting soon." 

I smiled at him, grabbing his hand and walking out down the stairs and into the living room.