Anything for Love

I laughed loudly as my friend Paul tried to pull Ryland off the floor after he had managed to fall flat on his face. We had spent far too long in the club, which was now much less crowded than when we had entered. We were drunk off our asses, and probably past due to go home. My eyes swept around the room as I took a sip of my drink, my glance catching that of a girl across the dance floor. She had her long legs elegantly crossed as she was seated at a table with three of her friends, though she wasn’t paying any attention to their conversation as she drank calmly and surveyed the club in front of her.

She wore a conservative and yet incredibly sexy black dress, her long brunette hair pulled across one of her shoulders. She watched me for a moment, our eye contact seemingly endless until she quirked an eyebrow and turned away to join the conversation at her table. There was something oddly familiar about her, though I couldn’t place it. I mentally shook my head, realizing that I had always tried to convince myself that girls were familiar to me. 'Gabe, you are way too drunk for this,' I told myself, knowing that it was probably time to get back to my apartment. I had sworn off women, and I was going to keep that promise to myself.

“Guys, you ready?” I suggested, looking to my friends, who agreed. I took one final glance at the girl as we made our way to the door. She was watching me leave, smirking slightly. I felt my jaw tighten; girls got under my skin much too easily.

Morning came too quickly, and it was time to meet Pete for coffee. I couldn’t complain much, because I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks and knew he would bring Bronx with him.

“Uncle Gabe!” called Bronx, running into my arms as soon as he spotted me down the sidewalk.
I laughed, picking him up into my arms.

“Ugh geez, bro, what are you feeding him, bricks?” Pete shook his head, but smiled. “You’re getting too big,” I told Bronx, bouncing him in my arms.

“I’m gonna be big like you and Daddy!” he said excitedly, clapping his hands once.

“Hopefully not for a long time,” muttered Pete with a chuckle as we stepped up to the counter in the coffee shop.

We made small talk over our coffee while Bronx listened, occasionally speaking up. He was so intelligent; therefore he was funnier than he even meant to be. He asked questions about things you’d never expect a 4 year old to ask, and he understood them.

We took Bronx to the park, watching carefully as he climbed over the static-y plastic playground.

“Oh, so my cousin is in town…” he said casually, not looking up from his phone.

“Okay.” I said simply, knowing where the conversation was headed.

“Well… I was wondering if maybe you wanted to show her around, you know? It’s been a while since she’s been here, and-“

“Pete,” I sighed, still looking forward but swallowing forcefully. “I can’t.”

“Gabe, you’ve gotta just try. It’s been over a year, you know,” he said easily, unsure of how I’d react. Everyone mostly avoided the subject of Bianca around me, and spoke sympathetically and moved on quickly when they did.

I had been completely in love with her. She had been the one. But she wanted what I didn’t- she wanted to get married, and I wanted to things to stay exactly as they were. It put a lot of strain on our relationship. Things would have been okay, though, if I hadn’t come home drunk one night and started a fight. It got ugly and we both said a lot of things we didn’t mean. I left the apartment for the night. I came back the next day while she was at work, went out the next night to party with my friends, and when I came back at 3 AM her bags were packed and she was walking out the door. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long to realize what I’d done. I drank myself into oblivion that night, calling Pete and William. They came as quickly as possible, and found me in the worst shape I’d ever been in. I’d seen Pete at his lowest, so it was only fitting that he saved me at my darkest hour. I was drunk for a week straight, then decided that love wasn’t for me anymore. My band, my friends, my family have tried to get through to me and tried to get me to talk about it to them but I don’t see the point. Everyone knows what happened, I don’t deserve the opportunity to ruin the life and break the heart of another perfect woman.

When I didn’t answer, Pete scoffed. “I’ve never seen Gabriel Saporta be a coward about something,” he said, sounding annoyed.
“A coward?” I asked incredulously, turning quickly. I felt anger boiling quickly.
“I know what you’re thinking, Gabe. I know you. You’re changing, though, we all see it. And I think being in a relationship would be such a good thing for you. You won’t screw it up, man, you won’t break her heart, whoever she'll be, because you'll know that you can’t bear to lose her this time.” As quickly as the anger had risen, the flames subsided. I smiled weakly at him, looking back toward the playground. I didn't know what to say to that.
“I just don’t know, man…”
“You don’t have to rush it. But you need to do it sometime. Everyone needs someone.” He clapped me on the shoulder before calling for Bronx to come back over. I bit my lip, mulling over what he had just said. I thought back to when he and Ashlee had broken up, and what a broken mess that had left him in. He was okay, now; he was happy.
I needed to get back in the studio before I did anything.