Calming of the Waves

The next morning, Baja took her mom’s car on a road trip. She’d found her old surf board in the back of her closet and she pulled it out, smiling. She’d found a jar of wax, and checking the date, knew it was still good. She’d spent an hour making sure the board was in top condition before she put it in the car and started the engine.

She felt more at ease when she was in the water, and even though it was a somewhat calm day on the waves, she felt better already. Seeing Ed the day before had turned her world upside down again. He’d gotten, as if it was possible, even more handsome in the five years she’d been gone. She closed her eyes and let the tide carry her for a few minutes.

When she was younger, she thought she had everything figured out. She was going to marry Ed, she was going to be a surfer, his band was going to be famous, and they’d have a house in Myrtle Beach. They’d talked about that dream all the time. He was going to be the only boy Baja ever loved and Ed wanted to be the only one she was ever with. He’d been her first, and since then nothing had compared to him.

She wasn’t sure why she thought she wouldn’t see him if she came back. It never really crossed her mind as she was flying back, though. Not once did she think she would see him, but she should’ve known better. She also should’ve seen the female, coming, too.

Angry that her feelings were turning towards jealously, she was glad to see the waves picking up, a storm coming. The tide got worse and the waves got better, allowing her to catch a few before she realized it was getting worse than she thought and she was bordering on being in trouble weather-wise.

As she paddled in, images of her and Ed floated through her mind. She remembered the night she lost her virginity to him and how it had been perfect for her. She thought about the hoodie she’d worn every night to sleep and how it was in the back of her closet. She wondered if it still smelled like him.
Baja shook the water from her hair as she made her way to the public shower to rinse off her feet and board. Picking up her towel and slipping into her flip flops, she padded her way up to her car. Beside it, a truck was sitting and there was a guy on the hood. As she got closer, she realized it was Ed.

Her heartbeat sped up a little bit as she got closer. He scooted off the hood and leaned against his fender, facing her car.

“Any good?” he asked after she put her board in the car.

“Once the storm started coming in, yeah,” she said, knowing what he meant.

“It’s good you still surf, even when you aren’t on tour.”

“How do you know I go on tour?” she asked, running the towel through her hair.

“You’re on the Roxy Surf Team, Baja. You’ve surfed some of the best places in the world, and you still come here. That’s great.”

She just nodded and reached inside the car for her clothes. She pulled on her shorts and t-shirt before she faced him again.

“So you’ve been keeping tabs on me?”

“You’re my favorite surfer,” he said, smiling. “I was in California when you were down in Huntington last year, and I meant to get there to see you, but I got tied up in the band stuff.”

“Of course you did,” she said, nodding. She put her towel on the driver’s seat of her car and turned around to face him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked her.

“You know exactly what it means, Ed,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t, but whatever. Speaking of other things I don’t know, why’d you leave, Bailee?”

Her breath caught in her throat with his blue-grey eyes on her. He didn’t waste any time.

The sky was almost completely black around them and the wind was picking up. She had to push the hair out of her face several times while she thought about her answer. She should tell him, she really should, but she found herself holding back.

“Is it something I did, Bails? I swear, I never cheated on you, I never did anything. I got home and you were just…gone.”

“I know,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. She really didn’t want to be talking about this with him.

“Why?”

“Personal reasons,” she said, flicking her gaze away from him.

“If you needed to leave, why couldn’t you just go to a different state?”

“I did,” Baja said, angrily. “Originally, I moved to Florida. Only my mom knew I’d gone there, and I visited Anna Maria Island, found a scout there looking for new surfers to try out for the surf team, and I was one of them. After I made the team, I met Ekene, my roommate, and moved to Africa. I live on the beach at one of the most sought-after surfing locations on the planet, yet Africa still didn’t feel fucking far enough away.”

“Far enough away from what, B?” he asked, prodding.

“Nothing,” she said, furious with herself for saying so much.

Her mother hadn’t understood why Africa, either, and she couldn’t explain it to her, either. If she wanted her mom to be happy, she wouldn’t say a word.

“Don’t shut me out now, Bailee. I’m here for you,” Ed said, moving closer to her.

“Fuck you! You’re not here for me,” Baja said with an angry, humorless laugh. “You weren’t there for me then, and you most certainly aren’t fucking here for me now, Ed.”

Fuming, she whirled around and got into the car. She turned up the radio and peeled out of the parking lot, making it to the highway in record time.

Pulling into her driveway, she slammed the door shut and unlocked the front door. She passed by the living room where the light was on. Johnny was sitting in his reclining chair, a beer in hand. She didn’t see her mom.

“Where’s mom?”

“Had to work late,” he said, not taking his eyes off the television. “She’s got a friend bringing her home. Where you been?”

“I was out,” Baja said, rolling her eyes and walking towards the kitchen.

She grabbed a bottle of water and headed upstairs, shutting her door a bit loudly than she intended. A few seconds later, it bounced off the wall behind it and Johnny stood in the door.

“Bitch, I asked you where you were. You didn’t give me a good enough reason and I’ve told you a thousand times not to slam my damn doors!”

“This isn’t your house, Johnny,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“It’ll be mine in four more days, you ungrateful little slut,” Johnny said and crossed the room.

She tried to back away, but she felt her closet door against her back and knew she was in trouble. She could try to knee him, maybe even hit him, but then they’d have to explain what happened. He grabbed her by the throat and shoved her hard against the closet, his hand catching both of hers as she tried to push him off of her. He released her neck and in his right hand he held both of her hands above her head. His lips found their way to her neck and she felt the tears spring to her eyes and overflow.

The memory of an all-too familiar past flashed before her eyes as his left hand found the top of her shorts. She felt the button being undone, and her voice was frozen in her throat. His hand snaked under her shorts and into her bathing suit bottoms. She felt him stroke her and she cried out. His lips covered hers in an attempt to silence her. When she made another noise, he bit her lip. When he pulled away from her mouth, there was a distinct metallic taste in her mouth and she knew he’d cut her.

“Johnny? Bailee?”

At the sound of her mother’s voice, Johnny had immediately drawn away. He took one last look at her, hands up and on either side of her face, her lip bleeding and her pants undone and he turned away to leave the room.

Once her door was shut, Bailee fell to her knees, crying. She wrapped her arms around her body and she shook from fright. A clap of thunder shook the house, making her jump. At the flash of lightning, she was up, grabbing her jacket, purse, and her mother’s keys. She opened her window and climbed out, shutting it behind her. She made her way down the roof to the side of the house with no gutter. She turned backwards, sticking her foot out and in, feeling for the side of the house. As soon as she had stable footing, she pushed herself away from the roof and jumped down.

Just as the rain started, she ran towards the car, cutting the engine on and backing out of the driveway before she cut on her lights.