X-Kid

The house was far too quiet for the middle of the day. I made my way through it, avoiding certain rooms and tending to stick to the hallway and kitchen to be safe. Frank and Jamia were quietly arguing in their bedroom, their kids were colouring in their rooms and Gerard was still asleep on the couch in the lounge room. I made myself another cup of tea and sat at the counter, looking around the place at all their family photos. I wondered if I’d ever have a family like that one day with drawings on the fridge and more photos of my kids than I would care to count.

I’d already thought about finding a new place to stay but in all honesty, I just couldn’t afford it. I’d thought about going back home to Australia early, but I didn’t want to cancel any plans just because of him. I felt disgusted in myself just for thinking that way. He’d controlled part of me for so long that it was all too easy to fall right back into it. I wanted to go into the lounge room and study his face again. I had so many questions. But I simply couldn’t. I wouldn’t let him get to me.

---

Jamia had decided to take herself and the kids away from the house, and apparently she hadn’t seen her parents in a while, anyway. Frank hugged his kids before getting back up to hug her and plant a sweet kiss on her lips. I could hear as the kids questioned their mum as they walked to the car and she quietly explained something to them. It wouldn’t have been the truth, of course.

The truth was, Gerard was too unstable to be living with small children. Or, that’s what Frank had explained as he closed the door. He was quick to shut his mouth as he heard someone in the kitchen, I guess not wanting Gerard to overreact. He didn’t want him knowing his family had moved out just so he would have a safe place to stay. Maybe he ought to have known that.

Frank pulled on the sleeve of my arm as he walked towards the kitchen, and I figured I’d better get it over and done with. I’d say the quickest, shortest hello of my life then bolt right out of there, just to have things be comfortable whilst he was around. I was hoping it was only for a few days, but the tired expression on Frank’s face told me he was in for much worse. We turned the corner and I leaned in the doorway as Frank took the sugar from Gerard and began to make his own coffee.

“What is she doing here?” Gerard said, not acknowledging me where I stood.

“Alice is a guest here too for a while, Gerard. I couldn’t explain last night because… well because I was afraid you might not come back with me.” I watched as Frank looked down just as Gerard looked up, and both of them missed an opportunity to connect. His eyes moved over to me once more and he smirked, he fucking smirked, before passing me in the doorway.

“My my, haven’t you changed,” he sang into my ear as he passed.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know.” He was grinning from ear to ear, but it wasn’t very friendly. I felt self-conscious. I felt like disappearing, right at that moment, but the gaze of my eyes couldn’t separate from his.

“I’ll slap that grin right off of your face, Gerard. I’m guessing that’s how you got your other battle wounds.” He cringed and the grin was gone within an instant.

“You don’t fucking know me.”

“What is your point?” He was close to me all of a sudden, his hand threatening to snake around my neck.

“Don’t. Don’t you judge me.”

“So I was right then?”

“For your information, Alice, I did this to myself.” Before I could move he violently pushed past me. I heard the slam of a door and a moment later, Frank came running into the room.

“Where the fuck did he go?” Frank asked, clearly distressed.

“He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself,” I spat. Frank took a step closer to grab me by the shoulders.

“Look at him, Alice. I mean, really look at him. Does he look like a man that can take care of himself?” I knew I had been wrong, but I didn’t care. He was just as bad as the magazines said he was, and that was something I had never expected. “Despite anything that happened between the two of you, he is still my friend. Above all, he is still a human being. He’s not in a good place right now.”

“Well why not?”

“I… don’t know. I’m figuring it out. I have to… no one else will…” I saw the tears brimming in his eyes before he walked off and the gentle click of a door told me he was in his bedroom. I felt horrible for being unable to understand why such a man deserved a friend like Frank.