We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

I drop my bag on the floor behind the couch and glance at the clock. It’s noon, and I haven’t slept in over thirty-six hours. Between my schoolwork, work, and meeting with lawyers to gain custody of my brother, I don’t think I’ve even sat down except during my three-hour lecture. Nothing else is on my mind except curling up under my blankets and passing out.
“Virginia!” I bolt awake to the sound of my name. Cody is standing next to me with a worried expression on his face.
“What time is it?”
“Almost four. I left band early because Alex got nervous that you weren’t answering your phone.”
I sigh and rub my eyes tiredly. “I haven’t slept in close to two days.”
Cody still holds the same expression on his face. “Virginia, I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to start—“
“That was in high school. I’m passed that, Cody.” He looks at me in disbelief. “I promise.”
“Does Alex know?”
I shake my head. “Not about high school but about when I was with Jordan.”
“Well, Rian knows somehow, and I’d be lying if I said he isn’t worried about you, too. This is how it started.” I sigh and flop back on my bed, rolling over so that my back is facing my brother. “You can ignore me, but my sister tried to take her own life three years ago because she was stuck in a situation and didn’t want anyone else’s help. Forgive me for being worried.”
I hear my door close, and I roll back over to face the door. I tug the sleeves of Alex’s sweatshirt over my balled up fists.
It sucks because he’s got every right to be worried. This is how it started last time, and it’s already started again.

“C-Cody, can you come get me?” The world around me is spinning rapidly, and I’m not entirely sure of my whereabouts.
“Where are you?” his angry, groggy voice answers.
“I don’t know…” I look around and stop someone walking past, asking where I am. I deliver the information almost incomprehensibly.
“Sit tight, Gin. I’ll be right there.”
My brother arrives in my car within five minutes. My phone rings, and a picture of Alex and I pop up on the screen. “Alex!” I greet drunkenly.
I hear his laugh. “Hey, baby. Were you sleeping?”
“No, I was drinking!”
It gets quiet for a moment. “Where are you?”
“On my way home. I’m almost there.”
“Are you by yourself?”
“Cody came and got me.”
“Good. Listen, babe, I love you and I want you to get some sleep, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.”
“I love you!” I fumble to touch the end option on my phone screen and end up dropping the phone between the seat and the center console. “Fuck me!”
Cody parks the car. “Let’s get you to bed.
I awake in the morning in sweats, and I don’t know how I got home nor how I got changed. I smell bacon and coffee. I exit my room slowly and shuffle into the kitchen. “Morning,” I mumble.
“Morning, Gin.”
Cody’s quiet, which is never the case. “What’s the matter?” He turns off the stove and looks at me sadly. “What?”
“I got a hold of Alex this morning. He’s on his way home right now.”
“What? Why? Cody, he’s in the middle of tour,” I scold.
“Yeah, but his girlfriend is cutting herself again because she turned down his help, Virginia.” I feel my lips part. “Yeah, I fucking told him.”
“How did you find out?”
“Last night when you refused to fall asleep in your dress. I helped you put on some pajamas. I called him right away.”
I can’t tell if I’m mad at Cody or scared of Alex’s reaction. “You didn’t have to tell him to come home.”
“I didn’t. I tried to tell him not to and that I had it under control, but he insisted on coming home. He had his ticket booked before the conversation ended.”
Cody’s phone rings, and he glances at it. “Hey,” he greets. “Sounds good…yeah, she just woke up.” He hangs up the phone. “You’ve got ten minutes to get your shit together.”
Cody heads for his room, and I can hear the door slam behind him. I pour myself a cup of coffee and drink it as I head for the shower.

Alex runs a distressed hand through his hair. “I just…Virginia, you had my full support, and you refused to take it. Yeah, I’m pissed as fuck!”
I avoid eye contact with him at all costs. “I can’t take that much money from you, Alex.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “You know, maybe I would accept that answer if we weren’t dating, I wasn’t in love with you, and I didn’t actually have the money to support you. If you haven’t noticed, this band is currently extremely successful.”
“Alex, quit it, okay!” I snap. “Throw yourself into my shoes for once.”
“You know, I would if my brother hadn’t killed himself, Virginia.” My eyes flick up to his face—eyes sad but face hard. “I have every right to be terrified. I already lost someone I love because they thought they couldn’t take it and didn’t seek help. God forbid I’m scared of losing the girl, too. There’s no bouncing back from it this time. I lose you, Virginia, and it’s game over for me.”
I roll my eyes. “God, you’re so dramatic!”
“Dramatic? I’m being dramatic. You’re being selfish, and I don’t think you want to hear what I’m saying. I can’t lose you.” I open my mouth to say something, but he quickly continues. “And I’d believe any argument you’d have if you didn’t already try to take the easy way out.”
“Easy? You’re fucking kidding me.” I rise from my chair. “I’m done with this conversation. I work in a half our anyways.” I turn around and walk away from him, but his hand quickly snatches mine and turns me around, pulling me close and into a tight embrace. He doesn’t say a thing, and I finally wrap my arms around him.
I’ve only ever seen Alex cry once, and that was when we talked about his brother. It occurs to me that he’s actually scared of what I could do to myself. “Don’t go to work today,” he pleads. I unwind his arms from around me and hold his hands. His tear stained cheeks, worried eyes. “Babe, please.”
I know he’s asking for more than just calling in sick today. I take a deep breath and look down at our hands. “Alright,” I agree.
His lips tug into his small, crooked smile that I love more than anything. He leans forwards and kisses my forehead.
It occurs to me that I haven’t seen my brother since breakfast. “Where’s Cody?”
“Job interview,” Alex answers nonchalantly as he falls onto the couch and flips on the TV.
“What?”
Alex nods and pats the couch next to him. He looks back at me. “Yeah, he wants to help.” I drop down onto the couch.
“Wow.”
“What can I say? Your boyfriend is awesome. I didn’t exactly talk him into getting a job, but I helped him bring about the conclusion that it would definitely help. Because you’re too nice to your brother to try and control his life.”
I laugh and shake my head. Alex smiles at me. “You’re amazing, you know,” I state. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He presses his lips to mine. “Let’s not think about that. You’re never going to have to be without me.”