Public Affair

"Warren,” She nodded. “But who knows. To be honest, that’s the farthest thing from my mind right now. All I want to do is enjoy pregnancy.”

“Exactly,” Zacky nodded and laid his head on Cory’s stomach, whispering something.

“Are you talking to him?” I asked, laughing slightly.

“Yes, actually,” He nodded.

"Weird ass," I laughed as Brian continued rubbing my stomach, I leaned back slightly and moaned. "That feels good, she isn't kicking now."

"I think Brian's turning you're woman on Matt," Cory yelled laughing as Brian kissed my stomach and started laughing.

"Huh? Oh—huh yeah," Matt said completely distracted from the video game. "Sure."

"Why'd you stop," I whined as Brian stopped rubbing my belly, I looked down and seen him staring at me. "Hello? Wake up."

"Brian!” Cory shouted, Brian jumping slightly. “Don’t just rub her stomach; I’m carrying your kid, too. Remember?”

"I can't be in two places at once," he whined as he started rubbing my belly again, I sighed in content and closed my eyes.

"I win," I giggled as Cory growled and threw a pillow at me; I snapped my eyes open and glared at her. "Fuck off this feels good and this is the only spa I get is when people rub my belly to feel the kid kick so leave. Me. Alone."

"Miss bitchy," she started laughing.

“At least I have Zack,” She turned to smile at Zacky, who was now playing a video game with Matt. “Jimmy!”

“What?” He sat next to Cory who was whining.

“Rub my belly, please?”

"He won't," I answered before he could. "He hates it more than being sober," I grumbled as I leaned back more, the chair becoming uncomfortable. "He loves feeling the baby kick but he hates just sitting there rubbing."

"I'd rather do it to someone who wasn't pregnant and naked in my bed," Jimmy excused clapping his hands together happily while shrugging his shoulders. "Sorry, I have my preferences."

"And that's why I never wear bikini's around him," I sang. "Because he's creepy and tall."

"Well, this sucks,” Cory looked around and kicked Jimmy off the sofa. “Johnny? Will you be a sweetheart and rub my belly?”

"Of course,” he laughed and sat next to Cory, smiling.

“Thank you,” She kissed his forehead and then glared at me. “Because someone’s hogging tha baby daddy.”

"Listen," I turned sideways nearly kicking Brian in the face. "He got me pregnant before you, therefore it's his right to rub my belly before you if our boyfriends aren't the ones doing it since," I turned back around, nearly kicking him again to look at Zacky and Matt. "Our boyfriends are acting more childish than our actual fetuses."

"You do have a point," she sighed heavily. "Johnny you do good at rubbing a pregnant ladies belly, ever thought of becoming a masseuse?"

"No,” He shook his head. “Never.”

“Oh, well you should,” She nodded and closed her eyes. “Your better than Zack”

Everyone stared at her.

“I meant rubbing my stomach!”

"Thank God," I held my stomach at the top. "I seriously thought we might have another soap opera week," I sighed happily. "That would have bummed me out."

"Talk about stressed the fuck out," Jimmy started laughing as he rubbed his head. "I swear, I was on edge so bad I even had Brian's death planned out in my head and where I was going to bury him."

"Wow, I feel loved," Brian said slowly holding his chest. "Thank you James."

"It not my fault you did everything possible to piss me off,” He mumbled.

“No, it was my own,” Brian nodded solemnly. “But let’s not talk about that month at all. Or Cory will end up crying again.”

"Yeah, for some reason she cries at everything," I mused with an airy smile on my lips. "Last Tuesday I said I loved Brokeback Mountain and she started crying."

And at that, Cory started bawling. "Heath dies in life and Jake dies on screen!" she screamed and covered her face with a pillow while everyone but me stared at her like they just seen…a pregnant lady scream because she had a mood swing.

Ah the joys of motherhood/pregnancy.

"Well that was amusing," I grinned again as Johnny quieting her down a little. "Lassy!" she started crying even worse while Johnny threw me a stop it or you'll die look. "Ah shit I heard that—Mufasa fell from the cliff!" I giggled as she started crying so hard she was laughing.

"You bitch!” She sobbed and flipped me off, making me laugh harder.

“Wilson!” As I referred to the volleyball that Tom Hanks lost in Castaway. “Oh no, I have the best one!”

“Don’t do it, Alex,” Johnny warned.

“How about that My Chem. song Cancer? Or their video for Ghost of You?” I smirked, making her scream into the pillow again.

I was laughing so hard that I was shaking with laughter; Brian actually started to laugh at the sight of both pregnant women going crazy. "Alex…"

"Best one, best one," I cried again as I sat up. "Death Sentence when Kevin and Garrett have that touching moment before Kevin kills him," I laughed so hard that time I was gasping for air as she sat up letting the tears roll.

"You bitch!"

"Four Brothers Jack Mercer," I laughed as Zacky's hand went over my mouth, Matt was beside him laughing but trying to stop it.

"Cory,” Zacky stood up and walked over to her. “Don’t cry.”

“She just had to go and mention Cancer…” She mumbled into the pillow, Zacky looking back at me and glaring.

I snorted and waved them both off with a flick of my wrist. "She'll get over it, they haven't even made a video for it, and then she would be crying."

"But the song!"

"Have you listened to that son—?"

"Don't even!" Zacky, Johnny and Cory shouted at the same time, I slowly raised both my hands with wide eyes.

"I'm unarmed don't shoot."

"Why must you bother Cory?” Matt laughed at my side.

“I don't know,” I shrugged. “It keeps me entertained.”

"I could keep you entertained with jokes, why must you torture the poor woman," Jimmy laughed.

"One, you're jokes suck and they often frighten me to a speechless state," I held up one finger then two. "Two, because its fun and it really makes me less bummed that I have to have a kid come out my crotch the size of a watermelon in less than three months with barely any drugs and a whole hell of a lot of pain."

"You know what, torture all you want Kay?" he said slowly with a nod of the head. "I'll even bring shackles for you to torture Brian and Matt if you don't explain the birth methods anymore."

"Shackles?” Cory looked up at me. “Mine as well bring the whip, too.”

“Ewww! Not my thing,” I shook my head and stuck out my tongue.

"She's more of a screamer—I'll shut up now," Matt closed his mouth before more than three people shot him. "I was just…never mind."

"It'd be wise," I whispered with a glare, "For you to quiet down, boyfriend."

"I'm quiet," he nearly squeaked.

"Good boy Matt," I patted his hand as I looked down at Brian. "Why did you stop rubbing damn it?"

"I was in a state of shock there for a moment, you like screaming in bed? You never—I'll shut up now.'"

"I never screamed with you?” I asked softly.

“No,” Brian shook his head.

“Oh.”

“Can we embarrass Cory now?” Zacky smirked, Cory slapping her forehead.

"No, serious question," Brian stopped and turned back to me. "That really means Matt's better in bed than me, fuck."

"Sorry dude," Matt laughed as he threw his arms up with a shrug. "Can't help it comes so natural."

"Oh—" Cory stopped and shook her head. "Creepy."

"No, seriously, can I embarrass Cory now?” Zacky pleaded.

“Why not,” I shrugged as everyone became quiet.

"Alright then," Zacky sat up and sighed heavily. "She likes to dress up in weird ass outfits that are sexy as hell."

"Zacky!"

"Well what?" he threw his arms out. "We embarrassed Alex, its you're turn."

"Like what?” I asked, intrigued.

“Like nurses and school girls and shit,” He laughed, Cory going bright red.

“Hey, Cory,” Brian looked over to her. “Who’s better in bed? Me or Zacky?”

“Brian, don’t ask me that,” She shook her head.

“No, I want to know,” Brian insisted.

"I'm not answering that, I'll start crying again," she threatened holding her finger out at Zacky, then at Brian. "Leave me alone."

"Brian don't ask her that, I don't want to hear it again," I whined.

"Fuck off," Cory flipped me off and buried her face into a pillow.

“Great,” I glared at Brian. “You upset her.”

“I’m sorry!” Brian frowned and touched Cory’s shoulder.

"Go away," she grumbled hitting his arm and pulling Zacky closer to her. "I want to sleep."

"Fine, fine but I'm sorry," Brian said before he wound up at my feet again. "What are we doing now by the way? Just sitting in Matt's living room for the hell of it?"

"I figured," I shrugged, “I mean, him, Johnny, and Zack were playing video games.”

“How about we do something constructive?” Matt asked. “Plan the nursery?”

"That's a really good idea!" I held my hands out for him to help me up; he laughed a little at my state of pregnancy and grabbed my hands to help. "Brian? Come help us, everyone come help damn it."

"We're coming," everyone yelled because I sounded seriously pissed off when I said damn it.

"Thank you," I grinned sweetly as Matt pulled me close to his chest, I smiled as he kissed my forehead and smoothed back my hair. "Love you."

"Love you more."

“No, I love-“

“Don’t argue with me, you’ll lose,” Matt looked down to me and smirked.

“Alright,” I shrugged as Cory hobbled behind me.

“I hate walking,” She growled.

"Yes well I hate it too but hey, its exercise for us fatties," I grinned as she growled again and glared a hole through me.

"Bitch, I'm not a fatty."

"You're a fatty and you know it because all pregnant ladies are fatties."

“Fine,” She glared at me and leaned on the wall. “Can we just plan the nursery before I die of exhaustion?”

“Fine, fine,” I nodded. "So damn dramatic."

"I can be dramatic, I have a kid in me!" she nearly screamed in my ear as I walked by her, I grabbed my ear and slowly blinked.

"Ow," I said slowly turning to her. "And I have a kid in me too and I'm not as dramatic as you, freaking milking it for all its worth."

"Damn straight."

"Lucky bitch," I chuckled as I walked past her in the room that was to be the nursery.

"It’ll be cute,” She looked around. “You should paint it pink and yellow.”

“Sounds like lemonade,” Matt grimaced.

“Okay, then what about purple and black?”

"I was thinking more like, green and tan or gold," I mumbled shrugging my shoulders. "White just won't work."

"Why not?"

"Seriously, Elliot is a baby and babies puke, crap and pee. They can't help it but the white will not be white no more then a day at the most," I nodded towards Cory.

"Okay,” She mumbled. “What about a rainbow?

"My kid won't be gay, I'm sorry at least not while she's young at least," I sighed as I shook my head. "Either green and gold or black and purple, show of hands on Green and co?"

"I like it," Jimmy, Matt, Brian and Johnny said

"Black and co?"

"I like it," Jimmy, Brian, Zacky, Cory and Johnny said

"Ha, purple and black wins!” Cory grinned.

“Alright, alright,” I nodded. “Could have expected something dark from you guys.”

"Well duh," Jimmy rolled his eyes as he walked in the room and grabbed the crib box that was still intact and had the crib still in it. "I'll get started on this."

"Even if it is a girl," I mumbled to myself then smirked. "Jimmy you'll throw it when it gets too much."

"I know,” He said as he sat on the ground and ripped the box open.

“Matt,” I turned to him and smiled. “Can you go get the paint from the hardware store?”

“Sure,” He nodded and rushed out of the room.

"What do we do?" Brian, Zacky, Cory and Johnny asked.

"Brian you can start putting the changing table together, Cory you can start putting up the clothes in the closet, Zacky you can start bringing in the side tables from the garage and Johnny you can come and rub my stomach," I grinned.

"You mother fucker,” Cory glared at me as she walked to the closet. “When we do my nursery next, I get Johnny.”

“Fair enough,” I nodded, making Jimmy repeat it.

“Fair nuff,” He laughed.

“Say it again, Jimmy,” Cory turned slightly. “I swear to god…”

"What did I do now? Did I breathe wrong?" Jimmy shouted throwing his arms up.

"Yes, you're supp—" she stopped and waved him off. "Not even worth the breath wasted."

"Oh gee thanks," Jimmy rolled his eyes and went back to the parts.

"You’re welcome,” She smirked and hung up a small shirt. “I love you, Jimmy.”

“I…” Jimmy glared at her before I kicked him in the shin. “Love you, too.”

"Thank you," I grinned as Johnny chuckled, Jimmy just glared at me.

"I hate you," he hissed as I kicked his shin again. "I mean I love you, God why do you kick so hard?"

"Because I’m an angry pregnant lady,” I explained. “You're just lucky my hand can’t reach you.”

“I guess I am,” He nodded and screwed two pieces together.

"You're doing it wrong," I grinned as he ignored me. "Jimmy, it goes A to B not A to C you idiot."

"It’s A to B Alex, chill."

"No I clearly see A to C now turn it over to where it’s A to B okay," I explained.

"Alex," he growled as he pointed to the small letter. "A," he pointed to the other. "B."

"Whatever,” I glared at the pieces for a moment before looking back over to Cory.

“He’s hopeless,” She laughed and shook her head.

"So he is," I nodded as I took a deep breath, I stopped half way and placed a hand over my heart, I grunted slightly and grabbed Johnny's arm.

"Alex? Alex!"

"What's w—" Brian stopped and dropped the changing table thing before running at me. "Alex, breathe."

"It hurts," I whispered.