Public Affair

“Carry me?” She looked over to me and smiled.

How could I say no?

“C’mon,” I bent down as she jumped on my back and laughed. “So, Cory, tell me about yourself.”

“Brian,” she continued laughing. “You know about me. This wasn’t exactly for us to get to know each other, was it?”

“It was!” I insisted, lying.

“If you say so,” I shrugged as I sat her down on the soft sand and took a seat next to her.

"Well what did you think this all was for?" I asked as I glanced over at her as I lay on my back, she didn't say anything for the longest time.

Great, scared off the one girl that makes my insides burn, just great Haner.

"Well," she started as she sat up, bent over and straddled my hips, talk about catching me completely off guard. "For fun I thought."

"Why would you say that?" I swallowed hard to keep from flipping her over and taking her right there in the sand, I had to hear what she had to say.

"Because I see the way you look at Alex, you love her I know that," she stopped and sighed. "But it’s just love, you don't have feelings for her like you do for me, I can see them Brian, and I want you to know that I have them for you as well."

“Wha-What?” I stuttered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Brian,” she shook her head and smirked. “Don’t play stupid.”

“Okay,” I took a deep breath. “Yes, your right. All of it. Right.”

“I’m not stupid, Brian,” she lowered herself down so that she was able to whisper in my ear. “I found out, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” I nodded and rested my hands on her thighs.

“So, Haner,” she sat up slightly and looked into my eyes. “Now what?”

The moment of truth; Do I make every desire, thought, dream come truth this moment, or do I walk away with pride knowing that I didn't disrespect one of the most important people in my life.

I grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her down on me, kissing her feverishly just wasn't enough, I couldn't get enough, close enough, deep enough, just enough. When she pulled away for air my hands were already on her belt buckle, she smiled and undid mine while I fiddled with three of the prongs on her belt.

I'm going to hell…

“Brian,” She sighed happily, resting her head on my bare chest. “Was it worth it?”

I pondered for a moment.

“Yes.”

“So,” she leaned up to look at me. “Now what?”

“Tomorrow after the studio.”

“What?”

“Tomorrow, Cory,” I looked down to her. “Your free, right?”

“Uh, yeah, but Brian,” she mumbled. “Are you sure?”

"I'm positive Cory," I whispered to her as I caressed her face. "I've had a taste and I want more."

She blushed slightly as she looked away from my eyes. "I'm scared Brian," she whispered as she looked back to me with scared eyes. "I don't want to hurt Alex; she's a really good person."

"I know," I whispered with a sigh. "I love her, but all I want is you."

"We have to do something," she sighed as she laid her head on my chest again. "We have to come up with something."

"For now, just meet me here."

"If you say so."

“I do,” I nodded.

“You know,” Cory began randomly. “I’ve always thought about sex on the beach. But never with you, and…”

“And?”

“It was way better then I’d ever imagined,” she smiled and kissed me softly. “We better go.”

“Yeah,” I nodded as we both stood up and began getting dressed. Soon we were in the car and back to my house.

"What do we tell Alex?" Cory whispered as she sat on the opposite end of the sofa from me, it slightly pained me because I wanted to hold her again.

"I don't know," I scratched my head as I heard a car pull up in the driveway. "You stopped by to tell her something."

"Tell her what?" she asked frantically, and then she smiled. "I got it."

"Hey!" Alex said as she walked in the house, she had a pink box in her hand as she smiled brightly and proudly at the two of us.

What's that pain in my chest, oh right…guilt.

"Hey Alex," Cory smiled as she stood up and walked over to help Alex with the box in her hand. "Whatcha got?"

"A big ass cake from my brother's bakery," Alex laughed as she and Cory walked in the separating kitchen, I glanced down at my hands and sighed at the silver index finger ring that Alex had bought me a few months back, before I knew Cory, when Alex was just enough for me.

I have done some fucked up things in my life, but this tops the cake. I have officially hit rock-fucking-bottom on the scumbag chart; Jimmy will kick my ass and hang me by my balls.