‹ Prequel: Having a Blast

Welcome to Paradise

What Are You Thinking?

Michael knocked on the door and stuck his head in. "I'm gonna go out for the night and I probably won't be back. So, yeah. Just thought I'd let you know."
I nodded, standing with nothing but a towel on. "Alright. I don't know where I'll be tonight. Probably here still. But anyways, have a good night."
"You too." He shut the door and I got dressed.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Mike's number. I waited a few rings and an awkward high pitched voice picked up.
"Um... Tre?"
"What? How the hell did you know it was me?"
I rolled my eyes. "I've heard it before."
He chuckled. "What's up lady?"
"Is Carrie home?"
"Yes ma'am, but she's spending quality time with Mike. It's not sex though."
"Oh. Do you think they'll care if I come over?"
"Nah. Come on over! I'm lonely anyways."
"Alrighty. I'm gonna get dressed and I'll be over." We said bye and hung up.
I put on a pair of yoga pants, a white baggy v-neck, and slipped on my flip flops. I went over to Mike's and Tre was sitting in the living room watching TV.
"Hey buddy."
He smiled. "My favorite fat girl!"
I glared at him. "Stop calling me that!"
He chuckled. "I'm sorry. Come! Sit by Tre." He patted the spot next to him on the couch and I plopped down, wrapping my arms around him in a side hug.
"How are you?"
He ruffled my hair, earning another glare. "Pretty good since Green Day's been on brake. We've all had our own time to ourselves."
I frowned and leaned my head on his shoulder. Billie's time would've been spent with me, no doubt. He's probably off wrangling girls to rid himself of the breakup pain.
"How's, uh... how's Billie been?"
He shrugged. "Billie's been Billie. Nothing too different. I mean... he's a little distant and keeps to himself more."
"Has he been hanging with any girls?"
He shook his head. "No. Just Carrie when we're all hanging out."
I let out a quiet sigh of relief and sat silently.
Tre broke the silence after a minute. "Why?"
"Huh?" I shrugged. "I dunno... just wondering I guess..." I glanced up at him and he was looking at me. "What?"
"What're you thinking?"
I sighed and stared at the floor. "I'm stupid for doing this... I want him back, I wanna hear his voice all the time, whether it be bitching to you guys or telling me he loves me; and I don't wanna fall asleep and wake up alone without him anymore..." I sniffled.
Of course. Here comes the water works.
"But I don't know if I can handle him leaving all the time. I mean, I trust him, but he'd always be so far. What if there's an emergency and I need him?"
"Then he'd drop everything and find a way to get to you. Nothing would stop him from being there. He'd drop the goddamn earth for you."
"I know..." I wiped my face of the tears that were streaming down my cheeks and hugged Tre's arm. "I don't know what to do Tre. I'm being pulled in two directions and it sucks." I buried my face in his sleeve. "Help me, please..."
"As a friend that hates to see you like this, I'd say go back to him 'cause I know what this is doing to both of you. Yes, you guys are gonna have issues, but what couple doesn't? Yours are a little more than others, but they're really no different Alana. You just gotta relax and work through them."
I took a deep breath and removed my face from his sleeve, seeing Billie standing in the doorway. After that deep moment with Tre, I didn't know what to make of my emotions. I was a mess and it was only a week since I decided to take a break. Maybe we're just not meant to be away from each other mentally or emotionally.
He must have heard some of the conversation because I could see tears welling in his already bloodshot eyes. He looked like a mess too. He looked exhausted, over everything. His hair was a pushed back mess, his eyes were red, he had dark bags under them, and he looked paler than normal.
Tre got up and left the room. We sat in silence, just looking at each other.
He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly cut him off, "Billie I'm sorry."
He pulled his mouth shut and sighed. "Lana-"
"Billie, no," I cut him off again. "I'm sorry." I got up and walked over to him, putting my hand on his cheek. "This was stupid. I don't know how much you heard, but I don't wanna do this anymore." I hugged him. "I miss you."
He hugged me back tightly and sighed into my hair. "I miss you too."
We stood there, hugging in silence, and I kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna come home."
"I'm glad."
I pulled away, my hands feeling his chest. I scrunched my eyebrows and felt around his stomach.
I looked at him. "You lost weight."
He nodded. "Uh, yeah."
"Billie, you're skin and fucking bones. Have you been starving yourself or something?" He sighed and looked down.