Footsteps for a Bride-to-Be

October 16th, 2011

9:00am - Our Love Nest

Our flight was around 2:45pm, we were packed and ready.

After the engagement party, I gave my Dad a big hug and cried a bit without knowing it, considering that he bought us a home in Bolton Hill - which we still don't know what the heck the address was - he kept paying and buying us things we really were surprised about. Although it intimidated my Mom (despite being the one who forced us to accept the fact that she and Nick are planning and paying for our honeymoon) and Michael's Mom (who has a surprise for us once we get back from Hawaii after the wedding), who didn't really get us anything for that night, but we reassured everyone they didn't need to get us anything. So, they both offered the one week babysitting card each, which I guess was ideal considering we were away for two weeks. They agreed that the first week, Baby Phelps would be in Chicago with Mom and Nick, who were very ecstatic to have him for a whole week. Ralph and Hailey were willing to help just so they could practice. Debbie was prepared for the second week, and she was going to live in our house so she could take care of Herman as well.

"I'm going to miss my baby," I groaned and nuzzled close to my son. "Ah, two weeks is the longest!"
Baby Phelps giggled and gave me little hugs here and there, but when Michael spoke, his attention went away from me and to his Dad. I was feeling jealous.
"You love your Dad more to me, is that how it is?" I mumbled to the baby and handed him to his Dad the moment Michael arrived and sat down beside us on the sofa. I watched the two of them laughing and playing the moment they reunited, they were very close even if they don't see each other as often. But maybe because he missed his Dad so much, he probably wanted the attention?
"Anne, our little guy loves you too," Michael spoke up as he turned the baby to face me and made him clap both his tiny little hands together, causing a big giggle from the little guy.
I couldn't help but smile. "I know, I know," I replied and leaned down and gave Baby Phelps a big kiss on the forehead. "I love you too," I added before standing up and stretching. We were waiting on Derek and Lia, who agreed to babysit overnight before my Mom arrived to pick up Baby Phelps and take him to Chicago for the week. I already packed everything for Michael, for me and for our son.
I was so prepared.
"I don't want to leave him."
Michael chuckled. "And when he attends pre-school, you're going to be just as bad, huh?"
"You are such a bully." I waved my arms around as I wandered to the front door to greet the swimming couple. They were also prepared for an overnight stay with a big bag. I cocked an eyebrow an eyebrow and asked, "Why the big bag? Where are you two headed?"
Lia gave me a big hug and shook her head. "Nowhere that I know of, but Derek wanted to pack big."
"Where are you going, Gorilla?"
Derek shook his head as he leaned down to give me a peck on the cheek. "I'm taking her to her Parents for the week," He whispered into my ear before he gave me a pat on the shoulder and the couple took off to the lounge to meet Michael and Baby Phelps.
I didn't follow soon after because I went back to the main bedroom to call a taxi, since we didn't want to hassle the babysitters and anyone else to drop us off. I didn't even get through the line until half an hour later as apparently their phone line was broken. Michael had to come find me and told me that his agent, Peter, was in town to meet with Bob about the upcoming plans in November while he was away to London and would be dropping us off to the airport while discussing about the plans to come.
"I have to say my goodbyes then," I sighed in defeat and hung up on the taxi company. I gave Michael a peck on the cheek and beckoned to the two bags just in front of our bed before wandering to the lounge area where I was reunited with my son and friends. I gave Baby Phelps a big hug and one big kiss on both cheeks. I was really going to miss him, and I thought one week was quite a long time - I really thought wrong. Two weeks was going to be worse.
"Don't worry, Anne, we'll take good care of your little man tonight," Lia smiled and clapped her hands together. In a way, she was practically practicing. Even Ralph and Hailey would be practicing too. Oh dear me, Baby Phelps was the practice baby for everyone!
"I'm worried," I blurted out, giving my son a tighter hug. "You guys watch him like he was your own, alright?"
"Hah! Don't worry, monkey, we got this sorted," Derek responded to my words with so much confidence, it was making me worry so much more. "We've practiced quite a lot, you know?"
"That's true..." I gulped.
"Trusting Derek is such a big move," Michael yelled from the end of the hall, but he did come closer after five minutes and took Baby Phelps from my hold. He bonded with our little guy in their own little way, it was like they had some sort of language amongst themselves.
Lia tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "That is why you need a daughter, my best buddy."
"Oh... Shut up..." I barely choked my words out. Those words really caught me off guard.
"Though-" My best friend crossed her arms and stared at my fiancé and my son. "I think Michael's just going to take the little girl too. You'll probably need another one."
I coughed. I really did. My saliva just stuck up at the back of my throat and I couldn't say a word.
Michael just laughed. Derek did too.
"Three kids will be fine," My best friend was practically planning the Phelps family out.
The Olympian smirked. "You read my mind."

That's right. He told me how many kids he wanted yesterday. Three Baby Phelps.


October 17th, 2011

8:00am - Citadines Suites Louvre Paris

After a forty minute stop over at New York, a change of airline and seven hours or so on the plane, we finally arrived. I spent the flight snoozing, Michael spent it watching the latest movies and an hour or two of snoozing. He wasn't tired when we arrived in the hotel either. It was so surprising when we walked in as it seemed that the step-Mother, Kim, who disliked me so much throughout the time I was under their roof, paid for a Grande Suite of the hotel for two whole weeks.
"Remind me to thank her when we next see her, ok?" I said to my fiancé as we entered the room, and it was quite a sight. I even dropped my bag as soon as we walked in from surprise.
He gave me a long kiss on the top of my head right after he entered through the door. "You should be," He added as soon as he inhaled the suite.
"I think we're going to need to do some planning-"
"-I don't think so," He interrupted me and lifted a folded piece of paper that lay atop our bed. It had our names on it and it had instructions, and seeing that it was handwritten, I felt the need to thank my step-Mother with more than words. I suppose two weeks with them in November would mean I needed to bond with her over that time - I owed her that.
"So what does it say?"
"Uh, I guess we're going to be tested."
"What do you mean by that?"
Michael handed me the piece of paper. I scanned through it like a hawk and searching for what the heck he read that would be about being tested, and there it was. "Getting married isn't about the ceremony - it's about what happens after your big day. You'd better be thinking about your future life with him, especially with Mitchell at tow," I read out what she wrote, and even imagining her saying it to my face. I don't know if she was messing with me or she was doing it because she cared.

She cared for me? Since when?

We ate breakfast in the room and spent a few hours doing something else under the sheets before we agreed to actually deal with what Kim asked us to do. It wasn't quite the pre-wedding honeymoon we were expecting, but at least we were tested in Paris. Michael questioned it though, wondering why they sent us out of the country just to make us think about getting married and if we were sure, although it worked out for his agent as two days of our two week getaway would be about him and being Michael Phelps again.
But that was near the end of our trip.
"Babe," I heard the Olympian whisper into my ear after a nap, his naked body pressed against my back as he wrapped his arm around me, tugging me closer to him without caring if I was asleep or not. "Wake up, babe, we need to get out of here and actually spend some time outside of our suite," He continued to whisper. "As much as I want to stay under the sheets, I'd like to think that our two weeks are worth it."
I grabbed onto his hand and gave the top of it a peck. "Ah, why do we have to?" I mumbled against his skin and deeply inhaled his natural scent.
"I think Kim wants to remind us how much we love each other and that we're still a young couple."
"And I think that's why I got pregnant, huh?" I teased. His chuckle echoed into my ear as he retaliated by telling me that I should be thankful because he gave me one hell of a handsome son, and he then reminded me that he was going to give me two more little Phelps. I laughed nervously and slightly turned my body so I could look into his eyes. "Is that what you really want?" I asked him.
"Is that what you want?"
"I don't mind at all, I just want to make sure you're happy."
"You know when I'm happy." He gave me a kiss. "And isn't it obvious I've just been happy?"
I smiled. "That's good." I tossed his arm away from my body and took the spare blanket above our bodies and used it to wrap around my naked body.
"How many years later and you still don't like to walk around naked?"
"Excuse me?" I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Before Mitchell was born, I walked around our lovely little home naked to participate in your-"
His laughter interrupted me halfway. He probably didn't want to hear what was next knowing that what I was referring to had nearly gotten us caught by our own Mothers, and fortunately, his quick reflex took us to the bedroom and we managed to save our naked butts from getting into trouble.
"So I don't want to risk it," I ended and walked into the bathroom, closing the door with my foot.

6:45pm - Six Senses Spa

After dinner, the first place that my dear step-Mother wanted us to do was to a spa and go through the Sensorial Escape package. I was surprised that it was going to be relaxing, but then again, there was always a twist. When we got ready, stripping down to nearly nothing and just in their designated robes, Michael and I went to a private room where the therapists began a bamboo massage.
"A friend of mine, Kim Miller, told me to give you this." The woman from the reception bowed her head and her accent slipping through her struggling English. She gave me the piece of paper and walked away.
"What does it say?"
"Apparently we have to talk about what we're going to do after you retire."

Michael told me that after the Olympics, he was going to stop being the Michael Phelps everyone knew him to be and retire. He wanted to be the Michael Phelps that was married, had children, took them to events and show off his family to the world. He wanted me to work and write books.

"Is that really what you want?" I asked as soon as he finished explaining his ideal of the future again. I always thought that he'd get bored since he was always busy since ever, and I always wondered that living the life he wanted would be different to reality. It was the first time I ever asked him if he was sure.
Michael was actually quiet. A groan here and there from both of us due to the pressure from the massage as we remained in silence. We weren't talking anymore, we were just lying there getting more tensed than relaxed, which made the whole idea of relaxing fade to the back of our minds.
When the therapists left to let us loosen up, Michael finally spoke up. "Anne, I want to play golf," He began, and I actually knew he wanted that. "I want to use our connections and travel the world," He continued on, and he was listing many things that sounded like he wanted to do on his own. My heart was beating against my chest as though it was ready to burst out of my body, and it was killing me whenever he paused. I didn't even look at him, not once. I could hear shuffling at the other end and pretty soon another round of silence.
"Have you fallen asleep?" I managed to mumble out from against the pillow the spa provided.
"Nah," He exhaled. "I want all that, but I want to do it with you, Mitch and the other two little Phelps we're about to make," He ended with a soft smile.
I pushed myself up and looked at him with a confused look. Practically asking him to rephrase.
He looked at me, his gaze was so loving and warm. "I can't think of doing anything else without you and Mitch," He calmly rephrased his whole explanation. "Like you said to me once, you couldn't imagine doing anything in the future without Mitch in the picture."
"We're on the same boat huh?"
"I suppose so." Michael reached out his hand. I reached out to grab a hold of it.

I don't think we needed to be tested. Our two weeks will be a honeymoon after all.

October 17th, 2011

8:00am - Citadines Suites Louvre Paris

So something had to ruin our honeymoon. It wasn't the silly tests that my step-Mom was making us go through, it wasn't anything that harmed us so badly, though I did get angry at Michael at one point, he recovered the whole situation by reminding me how stupid the topic was in the first place. We practically solved our tests, it was basically talking about key parts of our relationship that would be affected the most once we were recognized as man and woman - Mr and Mrs Phelps. Though I don't think it would change much of our relationship now, we acted pretty much like a married couple anyway.
Anyway, the something that ruined our break was Michael's schedule. Yeah, Peter contacted us all the way in America and told us that the Olympian's schedule was rearranged and we were at the Media Station as early as six in the morning, and we were both half-asleep and unfocused since we stayed out in town to interact with the night life of Paris. We, and I mean Michael Phelps, was caught by the public and had enough personal photos taken by fans that I was surprised he wasn't in trouble for being out and about and gaining press without him caring.

"Michael," I yawned. "Why did you bring me here?" I groaned. He was leading the way, and I knew he was used to the hours and amount of hours lacking in his sleep, but taking me with him was unnecessary.
"Anne, you're not going to be in front of the camera." His attitude was really bright, it was as though he didn't go out drinking with me last night. I rubbed my temple with my free hand as my other hand was held onto by my active fiancé as he led me through the halls and guiding me to the assigned waiting room.
"Even so, I don't think I should be seen in public with just a powdered face and less than fashionable clothing, since you know, I am judged quite often."
"Me neither," He commented. Though he was being an ass since he was already dressed in a salmon pink long sleeve, blue jacket and matching pants. He was dressed up by a stylist and he was going to be dressed like that the whole day as it was planned that we'd be doing some pretty fancy stuff.
I, on the other hand, was not dressed by a stylist, I was dressed in a simple white blouse with short and puffed sleeve which had a pinned floral brooch just on the right side and below the v-line collar, paired it with a patterned white beach skirt that reached to my knees, and a simple black peep toe wedge. Michael made me wear the necklace with the letter 'M' that he bought me back in our Ann Arbor years.
"I'm worried that whatever Kim planned out for us, we're overdressed." I always began my day doubting.
"I got the note when we got home, when I went to get our key card for our room."
"What did it say?"
Michael reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and took out a small yellow piece of paper, it was different compared to the other notes that were usually given to us. Maybe it was a different approach to throw us off guard. Seeing the piece of paper woke me up.
After scanning the words and putting them together, but I didn't understand it completely, so I asked, "So what's the topic?"
"I can't tell you," He denied to tell me anything at all.
"Why not?"
"Because it's something for me to know and you to find out."
I wanted to badger him much more, but a male staff member interrupted me and took Michael from the waiting room and to the set. I was left in the room with three television and watched everything from unaired to aired moments captured on the three camera angles. I didn't mind waiting, but I didn't know what was going on because there was no Michael or interviewer on screen. I actually waited a good half an hour before they were finally on, the interviewer was a woman and she made me self-conscious.
She was beautiful. All French woman had this vibe that made me inferior.
Maybe the topic was about insecurities?

"We are here with Olympian Swimmer, Michael Phelps, live with us." The Interviewer smiled. Michael did too. "We were expecting you next month then next week, but schedules changed about and here you are."
"Glad to be here."
"And you've actually broken a lot of hearts after the announcement you were getting married!" It even looked like she was heartbroken too.
Michael only chuckled and readjusted himself on the seat.
"We were talking earlier and he was telling me that he has his lovey wife-to-be with him here in Paris, though everyone has probably seen some of the snapshots already, I have to say that it's very romantic of you to bring her to the city of love."
"I wish I did, but this was thanks to my future Father-in-Law," He spoke up and made sure he let out the truth before speculations came about. I covered my face from his words.
The interviewer held her hands together and nodded as Michael went on to explain that he was using it as a way to reassure me that getting married without any doubts, and when he finished, she quickly asked, "I have heard a few stories here and there of your relationship, so if it's okay, is there any more hurdles that the two of you are facing?"
"Insecurities."
I gasped, she gasped and three other staff outside my door gasped.
"People assume it's mainly her being insecure because of my stand in the public eye, but in all honestly, it's also me," He went on to explain. "I have this habit where I always think and think whenever Roxanne is out and about, and this was before our son was born. When we went through the harder hurdles in the past, we conquered them but I've always thought that what if she moved on and what if we didn't fix it and what if we never managed to fix the holes. Where would I be and where would she be."
A pause. My heart was racing and I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders.
"That's why I want to make things formal and right."
"So even Olympians feel insecure?"
Michael nodded. "We're humans too."

It was the first time he ever said these things to me.

4:00pm - L'Astrobale, Lapérouse

I had a chat with Michael after his revealing confession on live television. It wasn't the first time he would say something I didn't know, but it was the first time he told me about how he was actually insecure throughout our relationship and placed a brave face on. When he finished around midday, we spent a couple of hours at a café and regrouped. Talking about his insecurities made me realize that it really wasn't a one sided relationship, I mean we loved each other clearly, but because I was so insecure about myself and about everything to do with me and him, I kind of never thought about his side.
And he's never spoken to me about it before.

Around four in the afternoon, the next schedule in Michael Phelps' day was going to attend a speedo dinner with a few other swimmers and athletes from all over the world to help promote the upcoming Olympics. It was a red carpet like event, it was private and invite-only. Michael wasn't supposed to be there, he never really agreed to it in the first place, but because we were situated in Paris and his agent went through a few persistent phone calls, he and I thought that it was best to show our faces.
Besides, we had nothing else planned and we were already dressed to impress.
I recognized most of the athletes there and knew the swimmers, especially the Americans who made an unexpected appearance, despite most of the guests coming from Europe and Africa. One of the swimmers that I was self-conscious about was Stephanie Rice. In Beijing, there were rumours whirling about that she and Michael had a thing going on behind closed doors, and it did make me a bit uneasy during that time as Speedo used the both of them for three more endorsement events and commercials. Stephanie was an Australian swimmer and she was good, she was tall and had that charisma.
I was a writer and unfit. Ugh.
She came up to us when she spotted Michael from the distance, but what stunned me was that she called my name first and approached me first. She gave me a peck on the check as the French would and held onto my hands. "Congratulations," She greeted me. "And well done on taming good ol' Michael."
I knew they were acquainted, but they sounded like they were very close.
I flinched, just slightly so that she wouldn't notice. "Oh, yeah, thank you," I choked.
Michael must've noticed the way I was acting and excused himself from the conversation he had with Dara Torres, Jason Lezak and Misty Hyman and approached us. His arm wrapped around my waist and greeted Stephanie with a smile, making her release my hands and greeted him.
"I can't believe you told everyone that we're humans too," She joked with a snicker.
"Yeah, well, aren't we?" He joined along and also snickered. I stood there, shorter than the two of them and so out of place and not understanding any of what their talking about since it went on about swimming. All the while, Michael has not released me just once, forcing me to listen to them the whole time. "I've been training, just busy with all this wedding planning though, right babe?" He tugged at me and asked me out of the blue to blend me into the conversation.
"It's a bit hectic, getting married is quite complicated stuff," I bluntly said without thinking. "I thought it was just walk down the aisle and go," I added so nervously. Stephanie let out a giggle and replied, "It's never as easy as anybody thinks, right?"
"No way," I said at the same time as my fiancé. We both looked at each other and smiled, we were quite in sync, despite being at a party that we both didn't really want to go to. The conversation actually lasted a lot longer than I expected, and the three of us were joined by Jason and his wife and fellow swimmer, Cullen Jones, which made Stephanie feel out of place because she was amongst the American swimmers. She excused herself and pretty soon I was feeling more out of place.
But then Jason's wife, Danielle, placed her hand on my shoulder and helped me escape the group of men, and she took me to a corner while taking two glasses of champagne for the both of us. I didn't know her a lot, but whenever we met up at meets, we would often be sitting next together if I wasn't around Michael's Family, and she would be talking to me like we knew each other for a long time.
"It's so good to be out of there," She commented as soon as we got to our corner. "I mean I love being around them, but sometimes I don't really get what they're talking about. You know how it is."
"Ha, it's worse when it Michael and Derek, add Ryan into that group and we're pretty much plants in that group," I replied so casually in return. I swallowed one gulp of champagne followed by a relaxing sigh of relief. "Thanks for saving me Danielle."
"It's no problem. But I'm sorry I couldn't save you when it came to Stephanie."
I coughed, choking on the little bit of champagne that I sipped in between her words.
"I heard Michael's interview, and I'm guessing insecurities were there while in Beijing, huh?" She bluntly questioned me without any filter. That was how close we supposedly are.
"Oh, well..." My voice trailed away. I managed to take another gulp of champagne, finishing it to the last drop before I could form the right words to answer her. I didn't want to sound so self-conscious, but either way, it came out that way. So I responded with; "I was in Beijing, there were times that I wasn't with him and it came to a matter of trust. I don't know what happened and I don't know what went on behind closed doors in those rooms. From what I hear from Ryan, some things do go on and there are packets and packets of plastic protections used in those days. You can't really be sure how to react when you hear that your boyfriend and another swimmer have a thing for each other, and it was worse when the tabloids just pushed and pushed."
"Maybe that's why Michael said he'd be bringing a wife next Olympics?"
"Well, I guess? Suddenly just making a decision like that, I was surprised."
Danielle gave me a pat on the back. "Well done, love," She grinned from ear to ear. "Taming a swimmer, especially the one Olympian who holds so many records and a lot of girls chasing after him, is quite a hefty task. It was hard taming enough training Jason, I could imagine how much you dealt with."
"You don't even know the half of it." We shared a laugh and clung the tip of our glasses together.

I looked over to where Michael was, he was smiling and sharing laughs with his fellow swimmers, he had his Michael Phelps charisma going on. I smiled as I watched him, and he caught me staring and waved at me. For the few days in Paris so far, it was kind of emotionally revealing to the both of us.
I'm glad he was still sticking around after all these years.

October 29th, 2011

12:00pm - Luxembourg Gardens

Holding his hand, feeling his warmth, his love and the occasional kisses here and there made me feel a lot more youthful. It reminded me of our few years in Ann Arbor, and the first few months in Baltimore after being apart for a year. We were both feeling the city of love and blended into the scene quite easily, especially after talking out the key points in our relationship that needed to be discussed. There were couples all around and having a date of their own.
"I love you," Michael whispered to me out of the blue as we stared at the little children playing with a motorized boat on the pool in front of the palace. He held onto my hand quite tight, reassuring me that he was going to be there for me no matter what came ahead of us.
"I love you too." I gave him a subtle smile and was happy he was by my side. "Just a couple of months to go, Michael, then we'll be married."
"Your name with my last name sounds pretty good to me," I heard him say his thoughts aloud, his relieved exhale afterwards made me giggle. He was still the same goof. "I have a very good night for us, babe, and it's going to make you happy. And I guess it's also thanks to Kim as well, without her silly tests, I wouldn't be able to blend in my plan for the night."
"You are just full of surprises," I teased.
"I want to show you something."
I looked at him in a confused manner as he let go of my hand and walked away from me without another word. He reached towards the little children and their Parents, had a little talk, took a few photographs and signed a few autographs before the little boy who held the remote of the motorized boat gave the remote to him. I stood there with my arms crosses and just watched, no word or debate or questions coming from my end of the pool. It wasn't long before Michael drove the boat closer to him and he leaned forward to place something, and from where I stood, I didn't make out what it was.
"What are you up to?" I grumbled under my breath as the boat was steered so slowly my way.
Michael signalled for me to grab the little box he put on top of the boat. I watched him wave his arm and try mouth something to me for a bit just to tease him before I stepped closer to the water and reached down to grab the box, but he, being more playful at times, moved the boat and I lost balance.
Splash.
Yeah, I fell in.
Michael ran to me without another word and pulled me out as soon as I reached the surface for air. I managed to grab the box though, it wasn't wet as I tossed it backwards with my bag just in time before I touched the water. I was soaked.
"I am so sorry," my fiancé apologized and drew me into a tight embrace, knowing that what he just did was something that would heat up my head. I didn't comment or budge as Michael kept chuckling in between his apologetic words. "Talk to me," He pleaded.
"That was not nice." I sniffed. "Why'd you do that?"
He released me from the embrace and walked over to my bag, tossing in the contents back into my bag, and lastly, picking up the box. He grabbed my hand and placed it in my grasp.
"Open it," He egged on.
"I will, I will." I grunted, rather irritated as I lifted the clip and flicked open the box. I thought it was empty for a sec, but I looked closer and it was another set of charms for my Pandora bracelet. He had been giving me charms here and there, even though I hardly wear it because I was worried I'd lose one or more. But that day, I wore it, I just had that feeling I needed to wear it.

The first one was a silver charm with inscription “I LOVE YOU”, it was cheesy and he said he was looking for that certain charm for months since he started buying me the Pandora charms - apparently it was always sold out whenever he had the opportunity to go. Next was a Baby Boy charm in sterling silver with blue cubic zirconia, inscribed with "It's a boy", and it was the same story, it was hardly around whenever he went out to look for it, he wanted to give it when Baby Phelps was born. The third charm was a man and wife charm that was is seized perfectly in the bride and groom charm that shines with detail from the pleated white dress and pearls on the bride to the bow tie and smile on the lucky groom. Then the fourth and last one was sitting atop a treasure chest of silver pillow lining, two gold rings overlap in the spirit of marriage.

These were the milestones that we were going to go through in the upcoming months. I began to tear up from the thought.