Status: Completed

Back Where I Belong

1/2

To my dear Zayn, May 25th, 2012

By the time you read this letter, I will already be gone. I’m not going to tell you where I am going because I don’t want you to come after me. I just need time to be on my own and you need time to allow your career to blossom. I don’t want to be in the way of that. But just let me say this; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t regret one second of the past year and three months. You have made my life so much better by being my friend, boyfriend, lover, and so much more. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have you in my life.

I love you Zayn, and I promise that maybe someday in the future we will meet again.

Keep chasing your dreams and reaching for the stars.

Forever yours, always

Keira Rose Gallagher xox

I placed the letter on the pillow beside him, kissed his forehead, and quietly left the hotel room, making sure that I didn’t wake him and that I had everything that belonged to me before quickly leaving hotel.

The tears fell down my face as I hailed a taxi and asked the driver to take me to the airport so I could catch my flight back home to Lincoln, England; away from the media, away from my friends, away from him.


The alarm clock began to buzz, pulling me away from dreaming about the day my life changed forever. I groaned and turned over in my bed to shut the annoying buzzer off. ‘Just five more minutes.” I thought to myself as I drifted back to sleep. However, two tiny bodies jumping on my own interrupted this. “Mummy! Wake up!” my three-year-old twins, Meghan Gabrielle & Daniel Joseph squealed. I opened my eyes and smiled at my raven-haired angels, pulling them into my arms for a hug. “Good morning loves.” I cooed as they snuggled their tiny bodies into me. “Mummy, can we have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast?” Daniel asked, looking up at me with the brown eyes he inherited from his father, those were the eyes that could make me do anything for him if he asked. I felt a tiny piece of my heart break as I realized just how much Danny looked like the man that I was still in love with. “Sure sweetie.” I replied softly as I pushed his thick hair out of his eyes. He smiled, jumping out of my arms, off the bed, and waddling out the bedroom door as fast as he good. One thing is definitely for sure; he inherited his father’s craziness as well. Yep, he was his father’s son.

I silently laughed to myself before sitting up and getting out of bed. I turned to face my little girl and smiled. She had fallen asleep on my bed, curled into a ball; just like her daddy. Bending down, I kissed the top of her head causing her to open her tired blue-green eyes she had gotten from me. “Mummy, can you carry me downstairs?” she asked me sleepily. I smiled and carefully lifted her into my arms, while she wrapped her tiny ones around my neck before walking out of the bedroom. As we walked down the stairs, I heard the TV, knowing Danny had turned it on. I heard the familiar sound of a song that had once made me so happy but now it only brought back the memories of the life I left. “Watch TV with your brother, while mommy makes breakfast okay?” I said to Meg, setting her on the couch with her blanket.

I looked at the screen for a brief moment and felt a pang in my heart as the five boys, now men, that were once my family dazzled my screen; One Direction. “Mummy! Unca Lou is on TV!!” Danny said with excitement. I nodded, struggling a smile before I sighed as I walked out of the room, brushing the tears from my eyes as I went into the kitchen. As I left the room, I heard the voices of the people who I had left behind and my son dancing around and daughter softly singing along. If only they knew, if only he knew.

While I made breakfast for my children I thought back to the dream from this morning, the same dream that has been haunting me every night for almost four years., ever since I left him. I was only nineteen when I walked away from Zayn, who was also nineteen. Walking out on the one thing that had ever brought me happiness nearly killed me. But, I only walked out to protect what he had built for himself with the rest of the boys of One Direction. From what? Well that’s where my two little angels come in. I had just found out that I was one month pregnant with Zayn’s children and I knew right away that it wasn’t going to look good for his blossoming career with the band if I turned up pregnant. So I left and eight months later on January 15th, the twins were born.

Which brings us to the next thing; how does Louis know about the twins and how do they know about him. A few months after the twins were born, I was running errands with my little infants in their carriage. Louis happened to be driving through the tiny town I lived in, just an hour away from his hometown. He caught sight of me and once he saw Meghan and Daniel, he knew what I had done. A lot of people wouldn’t know it, because Louis is always perceived to be the immature one of the group, but he is very smart and was able to put two and two together.

Naturally, I had to beg Lou not to tell Zayn or the other boys where as was, even though it killed him to keep this huge secret from the boys who were like his brothers. So, in return for keeping my secret I told Lou he could come visit whenever he wanted and he definitely came around as often as he could, spoiling my little ones rotten. Of course, these visits also brought Lou trying to convince me to go back to Zayn and tell him about the kids. And each time, I would say the same thing; I can’t. Although he didn’t understand my reasoning completely and he’d still try convincing me on each visit, it was good to have Lou around every so often; it was like I was with my family again. Plus, the kids loved their Uncle Lou and he simply adored them.

As I flipped the pancakes, I heard the doorbell ring. “Mummy! The door!” Meghan said as she waddled into the kitchen. I smiled at her and turned the stove off before lifting her in my arms and walking towards the door, opening it. “UNCA LOU!!!!!!!!” she squealed, reaching for him as he stood on our doorstep with a smile on his face. He took her into his arms and held her body close as he came inside, kissing my cheek. “How’s my girl?” he asked his ‘niece’, tickling her stomach. I smiled as my baby girl laughed just as Danny came running to the front hall on his tiny legs. “Unca Lou!!!” he said excitedly as he ran for Louis’ legs, causing the almost twenty-five year old to laugh. “No El today?” I asked him as he lifted Danny into his arms as well, and we walked into the kitchen where he set the kids down at the breakfast nook. “She’s at a shoot in the city.” He replied; he and Eleanor were still going strong, and since he was sneaking off to see me he needed to tell her where he was going so she knew about the twins too. I nodded and continued to make breakfast.

“Tea, Lou?” I asked him as I turned to see him playing with the kids. He looked up and nodded. “I’ll make it; you just get them fed.” He said with a smile, standing up to set up the kettle. I smiled as I put two small pancakes on each of the kids plates, cutting them up before bringing them to my children who immediately starting eating. When I turned around, Lou already had a steaming cup of tea stretched towards me. “So how is everything?” I asked him as I leaned against the counter, sipping my tea while keeping an eye on Meg and Danny. “Good; El and I are great, should probably mention we’re engaged.” He started. “Oh Lou! Congratulations! It’s about time!” I said, setting my tea down to hug him. He chuckled before I released him and had my tea again.

“The lads are good; Li and Dani are still going strong, as are Niall and his Meghan. Haz has even found himself a pretty bird by the name of Chloe.” He added. “Wow, Haz is finally settling down?” I asked. Lou nodded and silence enveloped us. I felt a lump form in my throat as I thought of the question I really wanted to ask. “How is he?” I whispered softly, feeling my throat tighten. Lou looked up at me and set his tea down. “He’s okay, I mean he’s still miserable without you; Keir, he hasn’t been the same since you. He misses you.” He replied with the same answer he’s given me every time I have asked. I felt a tear escape my eye at is words.

“I miss him so much Lou; I wish all the time that I didn’t leave but I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t jeopardize his career when it was going so well. Plus, having these little ones in the spotlight wouldn’t have gone over well with your fans.” I said quietly, tears pouring down my face now. “He still has the right to know about them though Keira, you know as well as I do that Zayn would’ve done anything to protect you and the kids if he knew about them, if you had stayed.” He responded. “Don’t you think I know that Lou? Don’t you think for one second that I never considered staying. I did but I just couldn’t because that would’ve been selfish of me.” I replied, breaking down into sobs. Lou came forward and brought me into his arms. “Mummy, why are you crying?” I heard Danny ask. “Mummy’s okay loves, go watch TV.” Lou said softly to my children while I sobbed into his shirt. They did as they were told and left us in the kitchen.

“Keira, we have a show in London in three days. You and the kids should come.” He said once I had calmed down. I looked up at him. “Lou, you know I can’t!” I replied, shocked that he’d even suggest that. He sighed. “You need to see him. He needs to know that he has those two amazing children; they deserve to know their father. The four of you deserve to be happy together.” He answered as his hands rested on my shoulders. I nodded. “But, it’s a three hour car ride from here to London. I don’t have a car.” I said to him. He smirked and laughed. “Well my lovely Keira, I happen to be driving into London this afternoon. You and the twins can come with me and I’ll set you up with somewhere to stay until the show.” He offered. “Lou….” I start saying before I looked into the living room, seeing Danny and Meghan, I knew what decision I had to make. “Yes. We’ll come with you.” I answered as he lifted me in his arms and twirled me around the kitchen before setting me on my feet. “Kids! Guess what, you get to come to London with me and your mummy!!!” he shouted, running into the living room causing the twins to squeal as I stood in the kitchen. Well, this should be fun.
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Part 1 of 2!!
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Ashley x