Tough Love
Tough Love
Our love didn’t start off like others, that’s for sure. One day I completely hated your guts then the next day I saw something in you that I had never seen before. I guess the others never saw that part of you, that spark in your eye that told me more than your words ever did, or if they did they chose to ignore it. I never told you that I almost ignored it, but where would I be today if I had. I would still be that scared little girl I was before I met you, well the you outside the masks we were forced to wear.
We didn’t have a perfect love like in the movies I made you watch over and over that first year. Everyone that knew me before you, at least the me they thought I was, thought I was crazy to let my guard down and trust you let alone fall in love with you. They told me rumors they heard about you and your past. They didn’t even for a minute think that maybe just maybe you had already told me everything and no matter what they said nothing would have changed how I felt for you.
We were happy for a while after we told everyone but then everything they said about you ran through my head constantly. Then it did start to affect us but never how I felt about you. I was worried that I wasn’t good enough or you would get tired of me or if you would hurt me. You could always tell though when I was worried or upset or really anything. At first you held me while I cried or ranted or sometimes even yelled. Being in your arms always seemed to make everything alright for me, at least for that moment in time.
Looking back I realized I never even wondered how you were feeling through all of it. What it felt like to have the person you love doubt you all the time. I never told you what they would say to me about you. I don’t know who I was trying to protect; my friends, my family, your friends, or your family. I’m not sure but I think a part of it was I just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just accept the fact that I loved you more than anything and you loved me too.
We eventually moved past everything and anything that was put in front of us. I could tell though that it changed us a little. We were broken and repaired but there was still a small crack in our relationship. It was always there and I could see the tiny crack there all the time slowly getting bigger and bigger and bigger until everything completely shattered around me, us. We didn’t seem to fit together any more we were like a puzzle missing just that one last piece. It was the most important piece to our puzzle. I can’t stand it anymore the lies that we tell each other, that we tell ourselves. That’s why I’m leaving you. I hope we see you again.
I’ll always love you
S.K.
We didn’t have a perfect love like in the movies I made you watch over and over that first year. Everyone that knew me before you, at least the me they thought I was, thought I was crazy to let my guard down and trust you let alone fall in love with you. They told me rumors they heard about you and your past. They didn’t even for a minute think that maybe just maybe you had already told me everything and no matter what they said nothing would have changed how I felt for you.
We were happy for a while after we told everyone but then everything they said about you ran through my head constantly. Then it did start to affect us but never how I felt about you. I was worried that I wasn’t good enough or you would get tired of me or if you would hurt me. You could always tell though when I was worried or upset or really anything. At first you held me while I cried or ranted or sometimes even yelled. Being in your arms always seemed to make everything alright for me, at least for that moment in time.
Looking back I realized I never even wondered how you were feeling through all of it. What it felt like to have the person you love doubt you all the time. I never told you what they would say to me about you. I don’t know who I was trying to protect; my friends, my family, your friends, or your family. I’m not sure but I think a part of it was I just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just accept the fact that I loved you more than anything and you loved me too.
We eventually moved past everything and anything that was put in front of us. I could tell though that it changed us a little. We were broken and repaired but there was still a small crack in our relationship. It was always there and I could see the tiny crack there all the time slowly getting bigger and bigger and bigger until everything completely shattered around me, us. We didn’t seem to fit together any more we were like a puzzle missing just that one last piece. It was the most important piece to our puzzle. I can’t stand it anymore the lies that we tell each other, that we tell ourselves. That’s why I’m leaving you. I hope we see you again.
I’ll always love you
S.K.