Save Me

Save Me
-Gerard's POV-

I walked across the hot pavement of the venue parking lot back to the bus with a worried expression on my face. I had just bought a jumbo bag of Skittles for Frank in hopes that it would help cheer him up. He'd been pretty down and depressed lately, and it was starting to worry me. No one questioned anything when I began to make small, romantic gestures toward him when he was starting his downward spiral once again. It was just the kind of relationship we had as friends and we were close enough where they could be perceived as me being a good friend and trying to lift his spirits.

I was particularly worried about him today, though. He'd been left alone a few weeks back claiming he was tired when the guys and I asked if he wanted to come along with us to the store in hopes of restocking the kitchenette on the bus. When we came back, he was wearing his hoodie tightly around him, and had refused to take it off since, even after complaining about it being hot. That's what worried me. This had happened once before, and I was terrified that it was happening again. The guys might have had their suspicions, but I knew. I knew Frank better than he knew himself. I knew when something was wrong. The thing is, I didn't know what was wrong.

The last time, I'd kind of seen it coming. Jamia had broken up with him after them having been together for what seems like forever. They were perfect and happy and I was happy for them. After she split them up, claiming she couldn't deal with him constantly being on the road, things had gone downhill. There were scars on his arm from a month long rebound relationship with a razor blade that he'd covered with a couple new tattoos.

I didn't know what caused it this time, though. 

I stepped up onto the bus and through the door, closing it behind me. When I turned around, I was faced with the rest of my band members. All except...Frank. This instantly worried me even more.

"Guys...where's Frankie?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"He said he was tired and went back to his bunk. Why?" replied Mikey. I completely ignored his question and started making my way to the back of the bus.

"You guys can't leave him by himself! Seriously, what the hell?!" I didn't need this getting any worse. I busted into the bunk room, leaving three very confused faces in my wake.

"Frankie? You in here?" I asked in a soft voice, not wanting to scare him.

"Huh? Oh, yeah Gee. I'm right here." I turned to the sound of his voice just quick enough to see him pulling down his sleeves. It broke my heart. 

"Hey, I bought you some Skittles." I said with concern lacing my voice. 

"Thanks." he took the bag from me and started munching on the small, brightly colored candies.

"Frankie? Can I talk to you about something?" I wanted to get this out in the open. The faster I did, the faster he'd be able to get better.

"Sure, what's up?" he replied nonchalantly, with an air of breeziness in his voice. He had no idea what was coming.

"I've noticed some things..." I trailed off.

"Oh? Like what?"

"You've only been wearing long sleeves again, Frankie." the color drained from his face and he took a moment to answer in a slightly shaky voice.

"S-so?"

"It's summer. You've only done this one other time. Please tell me it's not happening again. I can't lose you."

A look of guilt passed his face. "Gee...I..."

"Please. I miss you."

"But we're on tour, Gerard. And we will be for the next few months. You see me every day. How can you miss me?"

"I miss the old you. The energetic, hyper-active, vibrant you. Before the depression. Don't think I haven't noticed, because I have. Scars don't just magically multiply over night. I miss the Frankie I fell in love with..." I trailed off and a horrified look flooded to my face when I realized I let my mouth get ahead of my thoughts and had just spilled my biggest secret.

"The...the what? Wait, what? You love me?" there was a stunned look on Frank's face as the news sunk in. I knew there was no taking it back, so I figured I might as well just go with it.

"Yeah. I do. I love you. So much. More than life itself. I'd do anything for you, and it's breaking my heart to see you destroy yourself like this. It's hurting me just as much as it's hurting you, Frankie."

"I love you too, Gee," there were tears I his eyes when he looked up at me. "But I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like something is eating me from the inside out. I can't stop it. I don't know how to save myself. Save me, Gerard. Please. Save me. I think you're the only one who can. Save me, Gee. I'm scared."

I rushed over to his bunk and scooped him into my lap, being careful of the fresh cuts I knew were on his arms. He turned his face into the crook of neck and cried harder. He cried until his tears soaked into the neckline of my shirt, but I didn't care. I just let him cry on me as I rubbed circles on his back and whispered into his ear how much I loved him. It scared me seeing him like this. I didn't realize how broken he was.

"Don't worry, Frankie. I'll save you. I promise. I love you so much. Please, just let me save you."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Just go to sleep, sugar. I'll be here when you wake up."

"But what if I have nightmares? I always have nightmares."

"I'll be right here. Nothing can hurt you. I'll save you from them. I swear."

"O-okay. Thank you, Gee. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Frankie."

I laid him down and continued to rub soothing circles on his arms and stroke my fingers through his hair as he fell asleep. Eventually, my eyes started getting heavy too and I laid down next to him, never ceasing my movements. 

"I love you, Frankie. Don't worry. I'll save you." and then the world went black.