A Different Light

And it wasn’t like they were that close in the first place.

Im Yoona, Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol and Kim Jongin are considered as one of those groups of friends who have known each other ever since they were young. It’s kind of funny really, if you think about how their friendship started. Their parents were neighbors and best friends, too and it must have been their circumstances that bought them closer together. However, sticking with one another was their choice.

When they were in high school, they had the same classes and until now that they’re in college; they’re taking up the same courses—out of their own free will.

Of course, overtime; it wasn’t just friendship that developed between them but romance as well. Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol’s relationship wasn’t exactly a secret around the campus and it was not like anyone minded them. For these two were really kind and loud (but in a harmless and cute way). They were perfect for each other, just like what those around them always say.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol would then stare at each other with love apparent in their eyes; making Yoona and Jongin whine in sheer embarrassment in behalf of their best friends.

Now, Yoona and Jongin are friends but in a way that they were just forced to bond together because of their friends and parents. In a different time and under different circumstances; these two individuals would never have talked to each other much less acknowledge the other’s existence. And even now, as they’re friends; the amount of interaction between them could be counted by both Yoona’s hands—and they weren’t even ten.

The lack of casualties between them baffled her as she hands Jongin a glass of water for his parched throat and he does nothing but nod in thanks and walk back to Chanyeol’s room where the four of them decided on a Harry Potter movie marathon.

She sighs and pours herself a glass of cold water, then drinks it up in one go. Yoona slams the glass against the countertop and walks behind Jongin. The eerie silence between them was what she really hated. It was uncomfortable, uncalled for and actually unnecessary.

“The marathon is really nice, don’t you think so? Hey, is Ron still your favorite Weasly?’’ Yoona blurts out to break the silence; just like she always does all the time that Jongin and her would get stuck together.

Jongin nods, just like what he always does whenever Yoona would ask a question or crack a joke.

She smiles in understanding, although she knows that Jongin cannot see that for she’s behind him. Just like he can’t notice the way her eyebrows furrows in disappointment and the way she clenches her fist; mentally chastising herself for being talkative around him.

She watches him walk faster to Chanyeol’s room, leaving her dumbfounded and hurt once more. For he always has that effect on her, for he is the only person who has ever made her feel like whatever she says are insignificant.

He makes her feel unwanted without even trying.

And it must have been because of a tweak in her genetics but she finds herself wanting to get closer and closer to Jongin because of it. Because really, who treats the great Im Yoona that way?

----------

Without having a clue how or why, she realized that heaven had indirectly sent her the answer to her prayers.

‘Heaven’s gift’ was disguised as one of their quarterly project in dance class.

Jongin finds himself shuffling closer to where Yoona was while the teacher keeps on babbling about the project, the criteria, the theme and every single detail that they have to keep a look out for. He was listening, yes. But he finds his attention drifting to Yoona and how he could find a way to have her as his partner. He walks closer to her quietly, and he tells himself that this is just for the project and that he chose Yoona because of the simple reason that she was actually the best female dancer in the class—and he can never compromise his grades. Yes, just because of the grades.

Yoona nods her head slightly as she looks at her dance teacher straight in the eye. Biting her lips, she pretends to be oblivious by the fact that the tall, bronze skinned Jongin was now beside her.

And when teacher finally stopped talking, her eyes swept over the room full of her students. Her face breaks into a smile as her eyes landed on Yoona and Jongin—her top two students in the class. For not only were they talent; they were dedicated too. Perfect. “First pair will be our Yoona and Jongin. Followed by Kris and Seohyun and . . . . .”

As their teacher drifted off to pair the others, Yoona smiles to herself and Jongin mentally fist pumps.

--------

“The number should be any kind of interpretative dance, but Miss Park said that it would be better if there was an existing story that the dance would be based off. I think it’ll be good for us. I already did a research and maybe we should do something based off the story of the little mermaid.” Yoona ties her hair up in a ponytail as she explains the instructions to Jongin who was leaning against the white-washed wall of the dance studio.

He pretends to be busy reading something but really, his attention was on every word that comes out of her lips. “Why ‘the little mermaid’?”

Yoona stares at Jongin and smiles at him calmly, masking the murderous glint in her eyes. This was the first time that she had been alone with him for more than ten minutes and she’s already one short word away from wringing his neck dry. For this is precisely what she dislikes about him, his short replies and curt nods. Yoona tells herself that Jongin can be reserved sometimes, but her patience can only go so far.

She walks across the empty room and stands beside Jongin; making him uncomfortable on purpose. For I can’t be the only one here who should feel awkward, my pain is your pain. “Do you know the song ‘Baby Don’t Cry’?”

To her annoyance, he simply looks at the wall aligned with full-body mirrors and nods his head ever-so slightly.

Yoona clasps her hands together to refrain from really doing something illegal to him. “After making a few research; I found out that the song was actually based off little mermaid in 1837. “

Jongin stares at the mirror, his peripheral vision aware of how close her skin was to him. He wonders what would happen if he shifts his left elbow an inch to the left; would it feel like normal body contact? Or would those butterflies start coming back to him once more?

“Kim Jongin!” She snaps as she reaches the end of her temper. Jongin’s inattentiveness is the last straw. “I annoy you, I get it. But can you please set aside that irritation and focus at the matter at hand? This counts for twenty five per cent of our total grade and I don’t want to mess this all up just because you can’t really stand to be in the same room as me for more than ten minutes.”

“Sorry,” He says. But what he really meant was; it’s not true you don’t annoy me. It’s just me and my inability to talk to you because of the way your eyes would crinkle when you smile and that adorable natural curl of your hair that frames your face. It’s just me and my inability to focus whenever you’re near cause I’m too busy trying to control my rapid heartbeat. But he could not tell her that; so he ends up apologizing for his cowardice.

In the back of Yoona’s mind; she knows that they weren’t talking about his inattention anymore. However, she has no clue what lies beyond Jongin’s word so she continues, “Anyway, in the story; when she was fifteen years’ old, she falls in love with a prince. And she asks the sea witch to give her legs in exchange. She hopes prince could marry her but fails. If she kills prince with a knife, she will become a mermaid again. But when she stands in front of his bed, she could not bear to do that. When the sun rises, her body dissolves into foam.”

“That is sad.” He lets out.

She looks at him and gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “In the song, “Baby Don’t Cry”, the prince doesn’t sleep. He wakes up and asks her to kill him. That’s why it says, “Don’t hesitate, please take my heart. Love is kind of light winkling. It is mercy to close my eyes in the moonlight. Suppose me as a stranger, or fancy yourself actor. What we say is just lines of opera. Baby, don’t cry tonight. When the dawn lights the skies, it will be as if nothing ever happened. You will never dissolve into foam, for my love for you is forever. So, baby don’t cry.”

--------

“Look at those two over there,” Chanyeol pointedly stares at Yoona and Jongin; dancing their hearts out. He smiles as he takes Baekhyun’s can of soda and takes a long gulp out of it.

“Ya! That was mine!” Baekhyun pouts and Chanyeol feels that familiar warming in his heart, for nothing could ever compare to how Baekhyun could affect him without even trying. Even after a decade of being friends and two years of being lovers, the feeling comes as fresh and as new to him as the first time.

“I love you,” Chanyeol blurts out, watching in fascination as Baekhyun’s face start to take on the color of a tomato.

“Y-you shouldn’t say that out of the blue, you pit bull.”

“Actually, I think I’m more of a Chihuahua.” Chanyeol interrupts, running a hand through his curls to emphasize his point.

“Whatever. Anyway, what’s gotten to Yoona and Jongin?” Baekhyun’s attention was now focused on their two best friends dancing together. The dampness of their shirts, the determined look on Jongin’s face, and Yoona’s ragged breathing are all giveaways that the both of them, had in fact; been practicing for five hours straight.

Chanyeol takes another long gulp of soda and fills his ignoramus of a boyfriend in. “You would know if you weren’t too busy gawking at me; you would have heard Yoona talk about their quarterly project in dance class. It seems fun, though. We should have taken that up. Why didn’t we, anyway? Now we’re stuck with stupid singing lessons.”

“Because I said so,” the darker-haired boy reasons as he glances at Yoona and Jongin’s synchronized dancing.

A sudden idea enters his mind and slowly, a sly grin appears on his pale face. “Chanyeol, how do you say about a little bet?”

“I’m broke.” He admits. “But I want in.”

“Fine then you just be my slave, you know, with the whole French maid costume, for a whole week yet if you win-- vice versa. What do you think?” At this point, the smile on Baekhyun’s face nearly reaches his ears. Chanyeol briefly wonders if it hurts him to smile like that.

“Sounds cool.” He nods, and then realizes he has no idea what he is betting about. “What about?”

“Do you think that Yoona and Jongin will get together?” Baekhyun asks. “Because I do. I bet my inner French maid that they’ll be going out in two months.”

Chanyeol’s line of vision focuses on Yoona who was now in Jongin’s arms. “They have sexual tension but I don’t think so. Jongin is too much of a coward.”

“So, is it a bet?”

“You’re on.” the curly haired boy smirks.

“Better start looking for role-play costumes on eBay, Park Chanyeol.”

------- --

Im Yoona finds herself in a sticky situation. She knew that it was all her fault. She sighs as she chastises herself for making three stupid decisions. At nineteen years old, she has done a lot of stupid things but by far; these three had been the most idiotic mistakes that she has ever committed.

Her first one was forgetting her revision papers at the dance studio where she and Kai—the boy that she grew up with alongside Baekhyun and Chanyeol—had practiced for their dance number.

Her second one was running from her house down to the studio three blocks away clad in nothing but her pajamas and slippers underneath her thick jacket—in the dead of night, when it was autumn and a dreamy smoke would slide out of your mouth as soon as you exhale because of the cold.

Her third (and most vital one) was to catch Kai still dancing by himself in the studio—his body moving along to the beat in a sensuous and breathtaking way, his eyes closed in concentration and a slight smile breaking its way to his almost-always serious face--for it was at this moment that she started to see him in a different light.

-------

Three weeks after she had found Jongin like that, things started to get different since then. She could not stare at him straight in the eye without her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. Slowly but surely, she would start noticing little things about him that she never acknowledged before. Like how he would fiddle with the thin black bracelet on his left wrist when he’s nervous, how he would immediately bite his lips whenever she would crack a joke and he’d pretend it wasn’t even remotely funny. One of the things that endeared him to her was the way he would be passionate about dancing, she found it heartbreakingly beautiful. Usually, when she hangs out with Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongin, she would focus on the lovers and talk to Jongin only when needed. Now, she finds talking to others a difficulty, for her mind would always wander back to Jongin.

She could not talk to him without jumbling up her words into disorder. All the things that she used to do normally around him were things that start to be difficult now.

Heck, just the thought of them being in the same room and sharing oxygen particles makes her head swirl in a frenzy. She was that shaken up.

They finally finished practicing and Yoona looks at her watch; it was a quarter past nine o clock.

“I’ll walk you home,” He offers, grabbing his black backpack and walking towards her.

Too flabbergasted to say more, she simply nods her head and starts to walk a little bit faster in order to match Jongin’s long strides. Realizing that his doe-eyed friend couldn’t keep up, Jongin made sure to walk slowly; even though he wanted this to be all over and done yet so that he can run to the confines of his room and jump around in glee for he had walked her home. He simply cannot contain the emotions that he kept bottled in.

Yoona smiles at his gesture and that smile widenes even more as he opens the door for her and ushers her out into the dark night lit by a fluorescent street lamp. The dance studio is located at the farthest end of the street, where the heavy traffic and the honks from the cars fail to reach. And right along the end of it, were two teenagers, a boy and a girl.

Yoona looks up at the plain velvet sky overhead as she thinks of how they would look like to an angel or a supernatural being who could possibly be looking at the both of them right now. Even besides Jongin’s presence, she doesn’t fail to notice how the street looks so empty and dim; that if you look around and just observe the houses lined next to each other, you would never know what actually goes inside them.

To Yoona, it feels like the walls of the houses hide a million of secrets. The fact that these thick walls of concrete obscure your view from seeing a child who can possibly be laughing while being held high up in the air by his father, or maybe even another old soul wondering when death would take its toll on them delighted her.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Yoona literally jumps off the floor out of shock, for it was Jongin who broke the string of silence surrounding them for the first time.

“What?” This time, her attention is now on him.

“Isn’t that what British people say when someone’s deep in thought and the other wants to know what they’re thinking of?” Jongin clarifies and Yoona smiles at the way his eyebrows are arched up in question how confusion seeps through his deep voice.

Tonight, he seems much more humane to her than he ever had been.

“I know. I’m just surprised that you’re the one who started talking now and by the way, that’s the longest sentence I’ve ever heard you say.” Yoona tilts her head to her right, and this simple action made Jongin knew that he amuses her.

He knows, just like he knows that when she’s nervous, she would start drawing small circles in the air with her pinky finger and when she was thirteen and they had a sleepover at Chanyeol’s house; she was crying silently (and he was the only one who noticed because he was the only one awake and lying beside her and it was hard to ignore her ragged breathing along with the rise and fall of her torso) because she got her heart crushed by her first puppy love, Xi Luhan. He knows a lot of things about her, for he has always been keeping an eye on her.

“Yoona, tell me something about you.” He demands, making sure to walk to her left in order to keep her a little bit safer.

“I think that you know a lot about me all these years.” Yoona bites her lips and shakes her head in embarrassment. “Maybe I’m just being selfish but that’s what I think.”

She stares at Jongin and for the first time in years, he smiles at her. And the smile lit up his eyes and to her, it looks so perfect and flawless and nothing hurt; except her heart. For she suddenly feels the urge to reach out and hold his lips up like that to ensure that he keeps that expression with him.

She makes a mental note in her head that this night, underneath the bright street light; while they were on the way to her house, Kim Jongin actually smiles.

“I know a lot actually.” He stares at the road, too shy to look straight into her eyes. Afraid to lose track of what he wants to say. “But I want to know something about you that not even Chanyeol, Baekhyun or even your dad knows.”

She finds herself stopping dead in her tracks and staring at Jongin in shock for this is the first time he showed genuine interest in her. She’s now torn between melting at the paved road then and there and continues to walk with him. Choosing the later, she gracefully starts bouncing to where Jongin was now waiting for her. “I cry myself to sleep most of the time.”

“You still do?” He can’t help those words from spilling out of his mouth.

“How did you know about that?” she asks, tilting her head to the right. “It’s for different reasons sometimes but they all have the same root. I don’t think I’m perfect.”

This is one of the moments when Jongin wishes that he didn’t decide to avoid her all these years, for he would have understood her now instead of being the puzzled and freaked out lanky teenager walking beside her. Seeing her, but not really looking at her.

“It’s like everyone silently expects me to be perfect with their stares and when I fail to do that, they start joking about nasty things. I just laugh it off but really, it gets to me.” She doesn’t know why she’s spilling this to Jongin, maybe it’s just the atmosphere or the clear skies or maybe it’s just because it’s Jongin and really; she has no idea why. “It really gets to me.”

“You need to stop doing that,” he bluntly advised. No words of encouragement nor a warm hug but a ‘you need to stop doing that.’ “You’re never going to be perfect and really, don’t even try. This is cheesy but really, I know you and you’re amazing as it is. If you want to change, do it for yourself.”

Then she turns quiet, too lost in her own thoughts and Jongin knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea to interrupt her right now. The both of them turn quiet, yet the atmosphere is not the same as before.

For the first time in her life, Yoona feels like she actually spoke to Kim Jongin.

- - -- -------

“No, here; do it like this.” He offers, raising his hand swiftly to the left and leaves his right at the nape of his neck. Yoona looks at Jongin and tries to do just that, but the slight downward curve on Jongin’s lips tells her that wasn’t what he was looking for.

To save time, Jongin approaches Yoona and guides her hands from behind. The brief contact of his hands on her wrist makes her feel like burning up and the fact that he’s painfully near to her makes concentrating a difficulty. To hell with concentrating, she can hardly gather her thoughts into something intelligible.

“Do you get it now?” He asks, completely ignorant about the internal battle raging in her right now.

She nods her head and takes a step forward, anything to get away from Jongin.

They continue their interrupted practice and Yoona makes sure to get each move right (although the small and insignificant voice in her head keeps encouraging her to screw up just to feel Jongin’s hot breath against her ear once more).

She thinks that this must be what being crazy feels like.

- -- -------

You look prettier today.

You look prettier today.

You look prettier today.

The doe-eyed girl squeals into her pillow to muffle the noise--not that punching her bed out of excitement and bliss helped. She continues to yell to her pillow while replaying Jongin’s quick compliment as he left their practice earlier. It is such a simple sentence, and she is actually used to hearing people tell her that.

But it was Jongin. Kim Jongin.

It was Kim Jongin who told her she looked prettier today. And she knows that only Jongin would have that effect on her just by uttering a simple sentence with his deep voice and muddy brown eyes. As she finally sighs in exasperation; she realizes that she has fallen.

And she has no idea how or why or when (even though she strongly speculates that it started around the time she watched him dance) and maybe after that, the little things and little moments that they shared added up to this kind of frivolous feeling in her chest.

The feeling of butterflies, dizziness, and absolute idiocy.

Yeah, that feeling.

-------------

“You want to go to the candy store?” Jongin asks, turning to Yoona who was walking beside him.

To finalize their costumes, they decided to go to the mall and get everything that they need. Which was why Yoona is currently swinging her hands by her side while Jongin tries to act tough and make it look like the two large plastic bags weren’t that heavy. Ever since they walked out of the store, Yoona has offered countless of times to carry the other bag, but his manly pride wouldn’t allow him and besides—she was too fragile to him.

“You said candy store!” Yoona claps her hands in glee.

Jongin has no idea what she was actually about to do next, for it simply started into an innocent humming and for some strange reason, she has the urge to break out to sing. Take note that they were in the middle of the mall.

“I can’t wait another night to see you. Gotta satisfy my sweet tooth. A little like Reese’s fallin’ to pieces.” She sings even louder and by this time, heads started to turn to their direction. “Tell me there’s no way to do this. I just wanna kiss your hot lips.”

Jongin starts to walk faster, widening his steps yet he is not quick enough for Yoona’s hands which was now pulling him back to her. Almost childishly, she lifts their hands and twirls in them in a fit of giggles. “Boy, you make me melt like chocolate. Jaw breaker, you got the kiss and I wanna savor. Oh oh oh oh.”

As Yoona sings louder, Jongin could not fail to notice the gooey looks of people around them and soft whispers along the lines of “Awww, look at them, aren’t they sweet?” and “I wish I had a girlfriend as cute and as sweet as that.” Or “They look so perfect together!”. A tiny whine of exasperation starts at the back of his throat yet of course, it was overshadowed by the erratic beating of his heart.

She holds his hands and pulls him in closer to dance, standing on her tiptoes. Yoona didn’t know what has gotten into her, but right now as she stares into Jongin and stands on her tiptoes; she’s incredibly thankful for the part in her that does everything out of sheer instinct.

“Yoona, stop this.” he pleads and she winks at him in reply, obviously not following his wish.

“Twirl, Jongin!” She pleads and he swears he could feel the heat reaching to his ears down to his neck but he finds himself ducking and twirling nevertheless. She sang, “Oh, oh oh oh, you’re my lifesaver.”

She laughs with her head thrown back slightly as she spun them gracefully towards the escalator. “I’m like oh-oh-oh-oh and I really want mo-oh-oh-oh. Yeah honey, you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen beforeee. I’m like a kid in a candy store.”

When the escalator finally slids close, Jongin yells in embarrassment. “Why did you do that?!”

“Just so you know, it was embarrassing for me to.” She admits, her cheeks flushing ruby red. “But I got you to twirl and I think it was kinda fun. You only get to be young once. So live a little, yeah?”

Jongin keeps his silence as he observes the gradual increase in their height. His plan to ignore her for the whole day was shatters as she utters, “Besides, we don’t know what might happen in the future or whether we’ll still be friends. But what I do know is, once your hair turns white and wrinkles start to line your face; I want you to look back and remember this time. That even when you don’t remember my name or what I look like, you could always look back and remember me as the crazy girl who sang to you in the middle of the mall, isn’t that wicked?”

-------------

Her feelings are starting to get out of hand, which was why she decides to rush over Baekhyun’s house; demanding for an immediate secret meeting.

“Guys, can it. I’m still here.” Yoona raises her voice in a feeble attempt to be heard over the loud sound of Baekhyun and Chanyeol eating each other’s faces. It’s hard to ignore them since they were sitting beside her in Baekhyun’s living room.

“Guys,”

“Guys,” This time, she’s near to the point of tears. “I think there’s something wrong with me. I might be sick.”

The couple stops and Baekhyun scrambles off Chanyeol’s lap into Yoona’s side. “What’s wrong, Yeobo? Do you have cancer?”

“No! Of course not. I’m not that kind of sick.” She quickly shakes her head in disagreement and looks down at her lap, finding herself unable to look at her two friends straight in the eye. “But you know, love sick.”

“Love sick?” Chanyeol echoes, confusion seeping through his tone.

Even with the knowledge that they have no idea about the thoughts that were starting to structure in Yoona’s mind; it still makes her anxious and it still causes a tinge of red on the apples of her cheek.

“Like the kind of symptoms that you get when you like someone. You know, the rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, stuttering in embarrassment, constantly wanting to be with someone, missing them two seconds after they leave; just these things.” She starts to feel comfortable sharing this to the two lovers sitting alongside her. “Chanyeol, I told you about that night I first started to feel that way towards Jongin, right? Well, it’s getting worse. I really like him now.”

Thirty seconds.

Thirty seconds of pure silence before Baekhyun and Chanyeol finally registers everything that Yoona had said. Simultaneously, Chanyeol and Baekhyun stars jumping up and down as they held each other’s hand while squealing like a couple of hopeless-romantic teenage girls.

Yoona was torn between being happy for their unwavering support and being worried because of their possible mental issues. “So, what do you think I should do now?”

“Duh.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at his naïve best friend. “Just go and confess.”

Chanyeol smiles as he adds. “Don’t forget to tell him that you like him in a mushy bushy hushy let’s go make babies duggun duggun kind of way.”

----

Yoona looks at her reflection, making sure that her neatly fishtail-braided hair hadn’t been messed up by the wind as she ran all the way from the campus to the dance studio. She pats her cheeks softly to give it a subtle rosy glow. And she straightens her loose shirt and makes sure that even the waistband of her chachimommas were perfectly aligned around her hips—after all, who would want to look anything less that absolute perfection on the day they declare they confess to someone they love, right?

Yoona shakes her head as the realization of what she’s about to do starts to sink in. Never, in her nineteen years of existence did she thought that she would one day confess to the boy that always seemed to ignore her before. But then again, fate has a funny way of twisting things and like they said; expect the unexpected.

The door of the studio hinged open, making Yoona’s heart beat twice as fast than its normal pace. Not because of the door opening, but because of the boy who opened the door. “You’re early.”

There he goes again with his short sentences. She used to mind it before but as she turns slowly back (in a vain attempt to look graceful), she finds herself not minding it too much and in fact; that trait of him was one of the things that she adored. “I’ve got something to say.”

Jongin immediately notices the crack on her tone which meant she’s nervous and his eyes didn’t miss the small circles that her index fingers starts to draw in the air.

“I like you,” she finally admits. “Not as a friend but more than that, you know. Like the you-give-me-butterflies and make me giddy kind of like and—“

“I know and I’m sorry. But I don’t feel the same.” He interrupts, even though each word feels like a bitter pill that he has to swallow. But really, it was his decision and he isn’t one to disappoint himself. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you, Jongin. You didn’t even let me finish!” Yoona suddenly finds it hard to breath and she leans against the table to support her knees that currently feels like jelly. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to finally build up the courage to confess? Do you have any idea how many times I fixed my hair to make sure it’s okay because I don’t wanna look like a chimpanzee in front of you today? I really like you, Jongin. But seeing as how you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. Keep that up with your indifference and rude interruptions and I’m pretty sure that these feelings will go away. Hopefully. I have a billion things I want to tell you but right now I regret having to tell you how I feel.”

But I’ll never regret liking you, she thinks but didn’t say it out loud because asshole.

Silence fills the room and once the initial hate and embarrassment that Yoona felt dies down, she runs out of the room without a final glance. For she knew that if she looks at his expression right now, her decision would waver and she would forgive him; and she can’t have now.

---------------

“Yoona and Jongin, next.” Their teacher signals them to the stage and they walk towards it, in a completely awkward stance. But Yoona knew Jongin and she knew that they have to set it all aside right now and just dance.

They did just that, yet as they moved along to the music; Yoona notices that there was something different about Jongin’s dance this time. That unlike the usual choreo that they did while they practiced, this one was more heartfelt. His expression was that of total sadness that for a minute, she’s tempted to stop and hug him until he smiles but she knew it wouldn’t help so she continues to dance; all the while feeling Jongin’s sensations through the movement of his limbs.

It was so sad and filled with such agony she feels like crumpling under its heavy weight then and there.

Fortunately, she controls herself and concentrates on the matter at hand amidst the constant battle of emotions in her.

Needless to say, they won.

-----------

“Just sit there,” Yoona instructs him coldy.

Jongin nods and watches her as she makes her way towards the circle of children. If one of the perks of being the number one in the showcase meant going to the library with Yoona to read some books to second-graders, then he should not have tried as much. He actually wanted to decline the favor but Yoona, being the ever helpless and on-the-way-to-sainthood Yoona that she is had gleefully stood up and said yes.

And if it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t be stuck here. However, he finds silly pleasure in watching her from the corner as she imitates a sleeping snow white and after a while, she takes on the screechy voice of the evil queen. Watching her entertain the annoying kids, Jongin couldn’t help but feel the initial surge of happiness in him, although he doesn’t have a right to be happy because of her.

The fact that he once lied to her hurts him, and he knew that it hurts him more than it does her.

“Hyung!” A little boy about seven years old approaches him and Jongin winces internally as the boy smiles at him. “Can you tell me a story?”

“Yoona-noona is already telling a story over there.” Jongin pointedly stares at the now-laughing Yoona in the middle of the room.

“But I already know that! I want to hear a new story.” The boy demands and when Jongin doesn’t answer him, tears started to brim the corners of his eyes and Jongin’s eyes widens in dilemma for the only thing worse than a child is a crying child.

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you a story.” Jongin replies, just to calm the little boy down. Although he has no idea what he should recount for reading was something that Jongin does not do.

“What is it about?”

As his eyes wander over to the alligator-like-laughing girl in the midst of listening children; he finally finds all there is to tell. “It’s about a boy who tries to keep someone with him forever.”

“What happened then, hyung?” The little boy’s eyes widens in anticipation.

Jongin looks at him sadly and sighs. “I don’t know kid, for the ending hasn’t been decided yet.”

------------

He decides to walk her home after their tiring day at the library. The awkward and cold air between them unnerved him for he never has to be this way towards Yoona. It was then when he realizes what he should have done. He felt a lump in his throat as he tries to speak, but he tries nevertheless. “You know that my parents divorced when I was twelve.”

He hears an unintelligible grunt beside him but it was enough.

Yoona is taken aback by his sudden statement. She recalls that his parents had misunderstandings between them that ended to divorce and that they hardly speak to each other now.

He continues, “They loved each other but it wasn’t enough. I was cool with it but it was the aftermath that haunted me. The realization that no matter how much you love someone, you could still end up like total strangers in the end. So I thought to myself that if I ever find someone that I love as much as that, then I would find a way to keep them by my side forever.”

Yoona stops walking, unsure of where this conversation is heading. Kim Jongin smirks, sighs, and oozes sex appeal but he never talks about his feelings; at least not to another human being. Jongin stops, too and turn back to look at Yoona straight in the eye. “And I found her, but I never thought that my attempt to keep her by my side even as a friend could push her away from me. In the end, I lost her.”

The chuckle that she held in a second ago now bubbles up and Yoona finds herself laughing out loud in front of Jongin.

“Why are you laughing?!” He asks, blotches of red appearing on his cheeks.

“You and heartfelt sentences don’t really mix well, you know.” She laughs, for it’s something that she does to get herself out of embarrassing situations. But really, she’s happy. Because now, she knows that it isn’t just her but Jongin. Because now, she knows that this was what Jongin has been keeping with him for years now. Because now, the truth had been twisted open to the air like butterflies in a mason jar.

“So, are you saying we’re okay now?” Suddenly, Jongin finds himself looking at Yoona shyly.

It’s awkward once more but this time; in a good way. For that ‘awkward atmosphere’ is punctuated with cute things as in shy smiles, red faces, and feelings being suppressed.

“No,” She utters, closing the gap between her and Jongin. “I’m saying that you haven’t lost her.”

And he kisses her.

She smiles into their kiss, deepening it. For it says a lot. As their lips move in synch, Yoona feels heat rush up from her neck to her ears to her cheeks and she doesn’t mind that. As Jongin’s hands envelope her into a hug, she doesn’t mind that. For it was all smiles, laughter, and everything that they shared before and they will share again.

He leans down and touches his forehead with her, both of them still gasping for air. As if on cue, they find themselves staring into the other’s eyes and finding themselves stuck in the moment (for Jongin was a cryptic who didn’t believe in that cheesy stuff).

Jongin whispers the words he has been trying hard to keep to himself for all these years. “I love you.”

“What did you say?” Yoona smiles mischievously to herself, knowing how much Jongin dislikes saying his feelings out loud.

“If you didn’t hear it then you didn’t hear it. It’s a once in a lifetime thing.”

“Fine then, I didn’t hear it so you don’t. What is it, exactly?” She asks although she has heard it perfectly and it had caused a swirl of emotions in her.

“I said I love you,” He repeats, looking down at the ground.

Yoona bites her lips and grins, “What?”

“Hey, that’s pushing it.” Jongin glares at her, although love is apparent in his eyes. “Aren’t you going to say it, too?”

“Say what?” She starts walking ahead of him. Jongin follows suit, twirling a strand of her hair in his index finger.

“What I said.”

“What I said,” Yoona echoes and finally stops when Jongin starts to huff in exasperation. “I’m just kidding. I love you, too.”

----------

Once again, the doorbell rang and Chanyeol flung the door open in exhaustion; for who the hell rings at six in the morning, while he’s still half-asleep? To his surprise, Yoona and Jongin were at his doorstep.

Of course, Chanyeol did not fail to notice their intertwined fingers and the blissful and content look on both their faces. “Are you guys . . . ?”

“Guess what Chanyeol.” Baekhyun suddenly appears behind the couple with a maid cosplay outfit in hand. It’s all lace and frills and Chanyeol internally whines. “Looks like I’m getting myself a maid for a week.”

-FIN-