Nobody Can Know!

She sits on the couch of someone else’s house, watching TV and thinking. Thinking about her pain and loss and sorrow. She can feel the tears in the back of her throat, but she won’t dare shed them. She’s cried enough for now. She lights a cigarette and wrestles with the tears.

This girl has no home of her own. No roof over her head that isn’t someone else’s. This girl has been abused and used for longer than she can remember and she is broken.

She’s been verbally; emotionally and mentally abused by the one person she’s supposed to be able to trust the most. Her very own mother.

She’s losing the battle, the tears are coming. They’re streaming silently down her cheeks and burning the back of her throat.

She crushes out her cigarette. Wipes her tears. Gathers herself together. She is stronger than this.

She used to hate herself. Then she began to love herself. Then her mother broke her down day after day. Angry words spewed thoughtlessly at her have broken down what little love she had left.

Her friends don’t know this. Her Aunt doesn’t know how bad it is. She hides her pain behind fake smiles and forced laughs.

Nobody can know. It’s her deepest, darkest secret. Nobody can know!

The tears start again, sobs stifled so nobody can hear. Her eyes are burning from the tears. Her nose stuffed, her throat aching. She has to be strong. Needs to gather herself.

How can she get away? How can she make it stop? How can she burry the fear of being hit, because she knows it’s only a matter of time before the abuse turns physical.

She’s scared.

She’s lost.

She’s lonely.

She’s hurting and screaming for help inside. Never out loud. No never, ever. Nobody can know!