Fearless

“Rachel?” I called as I stepped into the apartment around ten thirty that night. They tried to beg me to go to a party with them, but I declined, telling them that I was exhausted. But there was no way I was going to be able to sleep.

I’d forgotten how wonderful it felt to be surrounded by people that cared about me. And not cared about me like family; people that didn’t have to like me at all, yet did, simply because we had compatible personalities. It was a strange feeling that I had in my stomach, and I wanted it to stick around for a long time coming.

“Rachel?” I repeated when she didn’t answer me. She wasn’t on the couch, though the blanket she’d been using earlier was sprawled in a clump along the whole thing.

Sighing, I went to fold it quickly before going over to her door. I knocked a couple of times, calling her name.

Still no answer.

Swallowing and bracing myself for a projectile being thrown in my direction, I eased open the door to find a pitch-dark room. I flicked on the light, and my stomach lurched.

Her bed was empty.

I put a hand to my mouth as I worked on breathing slowly. I had known this would happen. The one time I didn’t stick around for the worst-case scenario, she left, relapsed, whatever the proper term was.

Just to confirm my suspicions, she left a note on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. Im sorry Jaz was all it said.

“DAMN IT!” I screamed, smashing my hand against the hard granite of the sink. “FUCK.”

And she left no way to go get her, no address where the party was, nothing.

I had a brain blast and pulled out my cell phone, calling Niall. “Hello?” he answered, his voice still clear and normal.

“Where’s the party?” I questioned. I realized that my tone sounded entirely frantic, but I didn’t care enough to censor it.

“I thought you were tired,” he replied in a teasing voice. “Did you change your mind?”

I swallowed and lied, “Yeah, I did. So where is it?” It might not have been the party where Rachel was, but at least it was a place to start. And I didn’t want to think about what could happen if she wasn’t there.

He gave me directions, which I scribbled down on a slip of paper. A louder song started in the background, the base completely drowning out whatever he was saying.

“I’ll be there in a few!” I screamed before hanging up my phone, shoving it into my pocket.

My heart raced as I ran down the street toward the campus, thankful that I was wearing sneakers and not heels, praying to whoever was listening that Rachel was at the same party as my friends.

* * *

I wrung my hands together as I walked into the party in one of the couple of frat houses scattered along the campus. The living room was packed wall-to-wall with people, some of whom were shouting to be heard over the music, others of whom had already given up and had just taken to sticking their tongues down each others’ throats and groping each other’s chests.

I turned my face away, slightly disgusted at the public displays of affection, and did a preliminary scan of the room, looking for that platinum blonde hair that always had difficulty hiding, even in a crowd.

Nothing.

Although I wanted to give up, feeling discouraged, I forced a hopeful optimism into my heart as I urged forward into the kitchen.

That was where Niall and Harry were. Niall was standing by, drinking a cup of beer, while Harry sweet-talked a girl that looked like a freshman.

“Hey, Mocha,” Niall greeted with a smile. “How’s it going?”

I wasn’t willing to go through the pleasantries, so I just fired at him, “Have you seen a girl here who’s about five feet and has really light blonde hair? She’d probably be really drunk.”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion or worry. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Niall, just answer me,” I demanded. I was aware that I was probably hurting his feelings and being entirely rude to him, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to find Rachel, no matter what. God knew how long she’d been at the party, and something very bad could have been happening to her.

He shook his head. “I haven’t seen anyone that looks like that. But do you want me to help you find her? She might be, um…” He nodded over my shoulder, so I turned around to find a staircase.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I expressed dully before leaving him behind. But when I was about three steps up, I heard something behind me creak, and I knew he’d followed, even though I hadn’t given him permission to.

A sense of dread settled in my stomach as I realized I was going to have to open quite a few of the bedroom doors in order to find my cousin, and I was probably going to see some things that I could have gone my whole life without.

“Want me to check?” Niall offered, his voice low in my ear. “This isn’t my first time looking for someone at a party.”

“You’ve never seen my cousin, though,” I reminded him before gritting my teeth, realizing that I’d given away too much.

He didn’t even bat an eye, though. “Not too many people have the color hair she does,” he told me simply.

I shook my head in answer, walking up the door and thrusting it open.

A brunette girl and guy, tangled up together naked on the bed. They didn’t even notice I’d opened the door, even though a ray of light landed on them.

I snapped my head away and shut the door, feeling incredibly creepy as I moved on to the next door.

The fifth door was finally where I found her. “STOP,” her voice screamed, still recognizable despite the slurring and pain. “STOP, PLEASE. I’M TELLING THE TRUTH. I’M A LESBIAN. STOP IT.”

I felt my eyes start to itch with tears, but I pushed them back, knowing that I had to be the strong one. I always had to be the strong one.

I threw open the door and promptly stormed in. Rachel’s shirt and bra were gone, the guy working over her torso and kissing her neck, mumbling something to her.

“Get the fuck off her,” I demanded, running over. Since he wasn’t expecting an attack, I easily tossed him onto the floor. He blinked up at me, then over at the door, where Niall was standing, probably in complete shock. “Don’t you know the meaning of ‘no’, you fucking prick?”

“Jazmine,” Rachel cried out in recognition. “Jazmine, it’s you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I picked up her bra and shirt up off the floor and helped her put them back on, since she was so far past wasted. “It’s okay,” I soothed. “It’s alright. I got here in time.” I didn’t even want to think about what could have happened if I showed up ten minutes later.

She sobbed into my shirt, and I picked her up, thankful for her small stature. If she had been my height and weight, I probably wouldn’t have been able to get her home so easily.

I brushed by Niall in the hallway, not even looking over at him, as I started down the stairs and made my way home.