The Devil On Your Shoulder

"No please, don't, I can't do this without you," I screamed as I fell to my knees, totally alone in a crowded room.

~12 hours earlier~

I ran out of the building, the cold hitting me immediately. I hadn't run this fast since the day I bunked off school with Jack, the first time. If the sobs weren't overpowering my body at that moment, I probably would have laughed. It was an amazing day, a really amazing day, and I owed it to Oliver Sykes. If it weren't for him being a jerk, I probably wouldn't have met Jack that day.

I took a sharp left out of the gates and onto the pavement. The pavement was long and it was all down hill from here, which meant I had to try really hard not to face-plant. I didn't know where I was running to, what I was doing, all I knew was I needed to find Jack.

His name hurt every time I thought of it. Jack. In my language, translated to life. Without Jack, there was no life. No life worth living anyway.

My foot caught on a rock, causing me to fall over abruptly and smash my face on the gravelled ground. "Shit," I murmered as my face began heating up with pain. For a moment the shock of the fall stopped me from crying, but soon enough I was on the floor, sobbing so hard I thought my chest was going to capsize.

I lay there for what must have been around 15 minutes, pain throbbing throughout my body. I clenched my fists, hoping it'd help take some of the pain away but it only made it worse. I couldn't get up, couldn't move and my mind wouldn't leave Jack.

I then began singing a song, a song I'd written myself, the first time I'd ever felt real pain.

"Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye, it could be for the last time and it's not right, don't let yourself get in over your head, he said, alone and far from home will find you,

Dead- like a candle you burned out, spill the wax over spaces in place of angry words, scream- to be heard, like you needed anymore attention,

Drop the bottle, break the door and diss-" Before I could finish I heard a throat clear.

"Nice lyrics." Oliver Sykes smiled down on me when I looked up, still lying on the ground.

"Sarcasm never suited you, Oli." I told him, stopping myself from crying by biting my lip hard.

"Don't call me Oli," He groaned, "But I was being serious, your lyrics are good."

"Thanks.. I guess?" I half told half asked him. He grinned again and crossed his legs beside me.

"So what's up with you? Why you on the ground?" He asked, pulling his jumper down over his hands.

"I fell," I said, rubbing my eyes and biting my lip as hard as I could. I tried to force myself up but ended up falling on my face again. Oliver let out a small laugh. "Are you here to laugh at me or help me?" I grumbled, and he laughed again.

"A bit of both," He smirked, taking my hand and pushing me up. I glared at him, brushing myself down. "You need to go see a doctor or something, your nose is fucked." He told me, a small grin still playing on his lips.

"Your nose would be fucked too if you fell face first into this shit." I snapped, pushing myself to my feet. I didn't have time to talk to Oliver, I needed to find Jack.

"What you doing anyway?" He asked me, following my lead and standing up too. "Need a lift?"

I scoffed. "Oliver Sykes, trying to help me? Ha."

"Don't want my help? That's alright with me, have fun trying to get to a hospital with your face like that," He told me, his grin replaced with a defensive glare. "Just so you know, I'm not the heartless jerk you think I am, I write lyrics too, you think I've never gone through real pain? You don't even know what real pain is," He snapped, turning his back and walking away.

I grabbed his arm, pulling him backwards. "Turns out I do need a lift."

His grin immediately found it's way onto his face again, "Sweet! Where to?"

"Uh, I dunno," I said honestly. "I'm looking for Jack," I heard my voice crack as I said his name, the tears creeping up on my eyes again. I blinked them back, determined not to cry in front of Oliver.

"Why? What's happened?" He asked, genuine concern in his voice. He coughed a few times, trying to cover his worry up. A small smirk played on my lips.

"I'll explain later, can we get in your car now?" Oliver nodded, pulling me to his car. I began running, and he ran behind me. We reached his car and I pulled open the door, sitting in the passengers seat. I took a deep breath, placing my head on the mirror. My hands were shaking like crazy and I was using all my body strength to stop myself from crying.

He started the car, making me jump a little. He pulled out of the school and down the path. "So where are we going again? Why don't you call his mum or dad, or something?"

Shit. Bassam. "I need you to take me to the hospital." I told him, voice crackling once again.

"The hospital? What hospital? Is Jack in hospital?"

"Um," I racked my brain for answers. "I don't know what hospital, try them all."

"What?" Oliver snapped. "There's like 5 hospitals in Baltimore, do you expect me to stop by every one?"

"Yeah." I replied. My mouth suddenly tasted of blood and I realized I was biting my lip way harder than I'd meant to. I wiped the blood away from my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Stop tapping your foot," Oliver snapped. I hadn't even realized I was tapping my foot.

"Sorry," I blurted out. "I'm nervous."

He didn't ask anymore questions until we pulled up outside the first hospital. I jumped out of the car, running into the hospital. "Wait, Alex, what's the plan?" Oliver shouted after me.

"No fucking clue." I shouted back at him, pulling open the double doors and running to the reception.

"Can I help you, sir?" The receptionist asked, smiling. I ruffled my hair violently.

"I'm looking for um, Barakat, Bassam, Bassam Barakat," I said quickly, my words coming out all wrong.

She typed a few words into her computer and scanned the page in front of her. "We don't have a Bassam Barakat here, sir," She said. "I'm sorry."

"Fucking hell," I shouted, the room mostly filled with old people and people with kids turned to look at me. I bit my lip, running out of the hospital and back into Oliver's car.

"Okay, next." I told him and he exited the hospital car park immediately. I hadn't really had much time to process what was happening, but Oliver Sykes was helping me. Oliver Sykes, the guy who'd ruined my life ever since I'd joined Baltimore High School was actually helping me.

"Care to explain why I'm driving you all around this fucking town?" Still a jerk, but a better jerk.

"It's a long story," I lied. It was actually pretty simple.

"Well we've got a 10 minute drive, think you can squeeze it in?" He took his eyes off the road for a few seconds, staring at me.

I knew if I started talking I'd start crying again. My hands had already began shaking again and my nose hurt like hell. "Um," I began tapping my foot again and Oliver placed his hand on it, pressing it down firmly.

"Stop." He told me, annoyance springing up in his voice.

After a few minutes of no-one saying anything he realized I wasn't ready to talk yet and opened his mouth instead,

"One more nail in the coffin, one more foot in the grave,

One more time I'm on my knees, as I try to walk away, everything I loved became everything I lost,

I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times, that I'm okay, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind,

Addiction's got the best of me and I can't seem to sleep, it's not because you're not with me, it's because you never leave." He sang, leaving me speechless.

His expression was unreadable. Was he expecting me to comment? To cry? To hug him? No, he wouldn't want any of those. I shrugged, "Nice lyrics." I mimicked him. A small grin appeared on his face, apparently I was correct. There was more to this guy than I'd thought there was.

I ran out of the car as soon as we pulled up outside the second hospital. The cold air didn't even bother me anymore, I was past caring.

"We don't have a Bassam Barakat here-" The receponist told me, but before he could finish I was back in Oliver's car and we were driving to the next one.

"Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams," I carried on my lyrics from earlier after about 5 minutes of no words. "Waiting to say, I miss you and I'm so sorry,

"Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing, I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?

Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain? Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?" Oliver sang the chorus with me as we pulled up outside the 3rd hospital. Three's the lucky number right?

Nope. No Bassam Barakat. No Bassam Barakat. "No fucking Bassam Barakat!" I screeched as I closed the door harder than I needed to.

"Don't take it out on the car man," He told me, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

"It's Jack's dad, Bassam." I told him a few moments later. "I don't remember what the doctor said was wrong with him, but they can't find Jack. They called his work, the house, his cell phone. They said Jack's ill, his medical files show something wrong in his brain but they don't know what yet. I knew Jack was sick, I fucking knew it and I didn't do anything about it and now he might be dead." I blurted out, faster than I meant to. It was all too much for me, and just as I'd expected the sobs came again.

I placed my head between my legs, hoping the drown out the sound. The sobs were coming heavier and louder than before, my whole body ached with pain and exhaustion. I almost didn't feel the car stop and Oliver's arms wrap around me, pulling me into a tight hug.

"It's not your fault, how were you to know there was something seriously wrong with him? Don't fucking blame yourself, it's far from your fault. Jack's gonna be okay, he's strong, you know that. He'll fight it, and whatever's wrong with Bassam, he's Jack's dad for fuck sake. He's stronger than all of us put together. You're gonna be okay, I promise." He told me, before removing his arms from around my waist and started the car again.

Nothing was said for the rest of the ride and when we stopped outside the fourth hospital, he ran in with me. I was still pretty messed up, so I watched Oliver make his way to the reception. I watched his eyes light up as he pulled me through a door and into a hallway with loads of rooms coming off either end. "This way boys," One of the doctor's called, leading us into a room where I saw the man who Jack loved more than he loved me. More than he loved anyone.

"Alex," Joyce's voice lightened up the room as she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Hey Mrs. Barakat, how you holding up?" I smiled at her as she pulled away from me.

"I'm good, I'm fine, what about you?" She lied through her teeth, smiling.

I patted her shoulder as I sat down in the seat next to her. "Tired." I replied, truthfully. I was tired, I was so. Fucking. Tired.

_______________

"Jack Barakat, 18 years old, passed out on the side of the road," Was the next thing I heard.

"What!?" I snapped, getting up from my seat and rushing over to where the voices were coming from. I must have fallen asleep, shit.

My eyes landed on a figure, strapped to a stretcher. My eyes fluttered up to his head, and sure enough, there was Jack fucking Barakat.

"Jack!" I screeched as I pushed my way forward, through the doctors. I hated hospitals, way too many bad things happened in hospitals. I hated doctors, I hated everything.

I felt a firm grip on my shoulder pull me back. I tried to push the hands away, screaming out to Jack. I heard a few 'he's on conscious, he can't hear you,' from the doctors but I ignored them. I couldn't care less if he could hear me or not, I needed to know he was okay.

"Alex," I heard Oliver whisper and I spun round quickly, tears falling everywhere. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying. I whiped back my eyes but it didn't help, the tears kept falling. Oliver pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly.

2 hugs from Oliver Sykes, that was like 2 hugs from the grinch. Before he loved Christmas.

Once I'd sobered up Oliver quickly let me go, rubbing he back of his neck and looking embarrassed. I let out a small grin. "Shut up," He told me, but he was grinning too.

"What's happening to Jack?" I asked him, and he looked down on me, his eyes suddenly full of pain... or maybe it was pity.

"He, um," He began, biting his lip hard.

"Just tell me." I told him, feeling strangely confident.

"We found him-"

"What do you mean we?"

"Are you gonna let me tell my story or not?" He snapped. "We, as in me and the paramedics,"

"So you found him?" I began, but my expression dropped when I saw his face. "Sorry, no more interruptions."

He let out a small smile, but it wasn't sincere. "Yeah, once you and Joyce met I went off to find him." How did he know Jack's mum's name? "Anyway, it's his brain.. as you said.. they think... it's... a.."

"Spit it out for fuck sake!" I screamed, pushing him back a little, all happiness being worn out by suspicion and worry.

"It's a tumor, Alex, and they need to operate."