The Devil On Your Shoulder

Hour 6

When me and Joyce had got back from the restaurant, I walked into Jack's room to see something I wasn't sure how to react to. Oliver-fucking-Sykes at Jack's bedside. I let the door close behind me and he looked up immediately, his hand moving to his face and away again so quickly I wasn't sure I'd even seen it.

"I.. I was... I was just..." He began and I grinned.

"Oliver Sykes turned out to be not-so-dickish." I teased and he frowned at me, but his smirk was growing lightly on his face.

I took my place beside him, looking at Jack as I did so. I felt an arm around my shoulder and then a couple of pats on the back. "Turns out I like you guys more than I thought I did." He grinned. And I grinned back. We sat like that for a while. Thinking. At least, I think he was thinking.

I thought about the fact if it weren't for him, Jack may not have been found on time. I thought about the fact if it weren't for him I wouldn't be here right now, considering he was my ride and Jack had had my car. I thought about the fact Jack was right all along, Oli really was a good guy, at heart. I didn't think about the facts that made him the way he was, but maybe I should have.

"Thanks." I said to him as I leant back in my chair, my head on his shoulder.

Hour 7

I woke up what must have been a few hours later, to find Oliver had left and Jack was still sleeping. I rubbed my eyes and picked myself up, walking out of the room to find Joyce.

"Sup Gaskarth." I heard a familiar voice grin and my eyes shot up to see Rian Dawson beaming in the hallway of the hospital.

"Dawson!" I grinned, my spirits quickly lifting as I pulled him into a hug.

He laughed, patting my back and grinning at me as we pulled away from each other. His grin lit up the whole room, quite literally as his teeth were blindingly white. "I haven't heard from you in ages! Had to find out from that fucking Oli guy that Jack was in here! Never heard of, oh, I don't know, a cell phone?!" He lectured me, punching my upper arm as he did so.

"Oh sorry for not informing you of my every move." I joked back, giving as good as I got.

"You should be, dammit Alex you make it so hard for me to stalk you."

I laughed as I eyed him up. There was something....different. Then I realized. "What the FUCK man?! You have HAIR?" I cried, my mouth opening in shock.

"Oh this," He grinned, patting his cheeks as if he were blushing. "Thanks man, I grew it myself. I just thought, what's a gay guy without hair? Y'know. I need something to style. Play with. Like you and your boyfriend. Oh, no, sorry. Your ""friend""."

I pushed him hard, making him stumble a little. Yet, I didn't tell him Jack was my boyfriend. I couldn't explain why, it wasn't like I had feelings for Rian. Even if I felt something tiny tiny for him before, I would never again. Right?

Plus, boyfriend sounded soppy and cringy.

"You wanna get outta this place? It's hella depressing."

"Well it is a hospital, Ri." I grinned and he hit me once again. "How many times you gonna do that? I'm smaller than you man! Don't hit people smaller than you!"

"Don't hit girls, you mean." Rian scuffed again.

"Wanna see a magic trick?" I grinned whilst he nodded. "1, 2, 3, poof. Friendship over."

----

We got out the "hella depressing" hospital, and Rian took me to a small building with the sign "estate agent" above it.

"You're taking me to an estate agent?!" I questioned him. "When you said you wanted to get out of the depressing hospital, I thought you meant to somewhere better." I joked.

"Shut up, asshole, we're not staying here." He said, punching me in the chest and pulling me through to a room that looked so worn out I highly doubted there was human life in there.

"Fuck, Rian." I groaned, looking around the small, weirdly smelling room with no wallpaper or flooring or life.

"Yo, Tay," Rian shouted, his voice echoing the building. "It's Rian."

A tall guy emerged from a door at the back of the room. I immediately recognised him from the reform type school me and Jack had gone to a few months earlier. He'd grown a beard since then, and I couldn't help thinking that this place with this kinda guy was gonna turn into a horror movie or something.

"S'up Riri." The creepy guy asked, punching Rian's knuckle. "This your BF?" I wanted to slap him for using Internet talk in real life.

"Yeah, can we get the key?" Rian answered. I looked up at him, confused by his answer and he way he looked so serious.

"What?" I snapped, my eyes squinting at Rian.

As Taylor walked away, Rian turned to me. "Shut up, you bellend, just wait."

I frowned again, insulted by the fact he'd called me his boyfriend AND a bellend in the space of 2 minutes. I didn't like being called Rian's boyfriend. I wasn't Rian's boyfriend.

Rian got the key and dragged me out of that place as quickly as he'd leered me in.

"What the fuck was that?" I said once Taylor and that horrible place was as far away as possible.

"He doesn't let me use his basement unless I'm at band practice or with a guy. Just go along with it, it's not like you're gonna see him again, anyway. And even if you do, you'll be with Jack, right?"

I didn't answer him after that. I wasn't sure why, because he was right, I would be with Jack. Somehow I just couldn't admit to him, or maybe to myself, that I was infact, Jack Barakat's boyfriend. I'd told people before. I'd told Oliver fucking Sykes. I'd told Jack's mom. Why was it that I couldn't tell Rian, when he was supposed to be one of my closest friends?

I shook off my guilt, focusing on my footsteps as Rian dragged me around half the fucking city.

"Are we nearly there?" I moaned.

"Not if you keep acting like a 2 year old." He said, his back turned to me sharply.

When we finally got there he seemed to calm down. I watched as he threw his jacket on a seat in, what I gathered was the living room, and ran down a flight of stairs. I followed him down, walking slowly as 1) I wasn't fit enough to run, and 2) I was clumsy as fuck.

I took a look at this guy, Taylor's, basement, and I had to say for a creepy guy with a beard, his basement was fucking insane.

There was beer coolers everywhere I looked, flat screen TV's and as many Apple products as the fucking Apple store.

"For an estate agent, he does pretty well." I commented, but Rian wasn't really listening.

He threw a beer at me, and turned on the TV and then the XBOX. "You like Fifa?" He asked me, turning his head slightly and gesturing for me to join him on the couch.

"Yeah," I replied and took a controller, sitting next to him and gulping down beer that I was pretty sure was cold enough to be pure ice.

We sat like that, for hours. Playing FIFA and drinking beer. I only had 2 beers, but Rian was drinking like beer was a pack of mentos.

"Jack would like this." I commented, after I lost my 5th game.

"You really like him, don't you?" Rian said, his face turning to look at me.

I thought about this question for a while. 'I really liked Jack'. I did really like Jack, and although this few hours with Rian was awesome, I'd rather have spent it with Jack, even if it meant in the hospital. It never occured to me before, but the feelings I'd felt for Rian before weren't real feelings. I never really wanted to kiss Rian, or date Rian, or buy nice things for him. I didn't want to be with Rian, not even a little bit. Being with Rian would mean I had to be away from Jack, and I couldn't stand being away from Jack for a few hours, never mind a lifetime.

"I more than really like him," I corrected Rian after a few minutes of thinking. "I'm fucking in love with him." And with that, I got up, leaving the beer and FIFA game, running upstairs, walking out the door and not looking back once.

Hour 10

It'd taken me over half an hour to get back to the hospital as I got lost about a million times. Plus, Rian was my ride, so I had to catch a cab but only had $15 on me which meant he only took me half the way to the hospital, and I had to actually ASK people for directions.

I walked into Jack's room to see Oliver and his mom sitting by Jack's side. Oliver was on his phone, talking to someone, probably Josh or a new girlfriend, but I didn't really care. I didn't even really notice they were there. I was too busy looking at Jack.

I thought about all the times I'd taken him for granted, thought that he'd always be around, always be there, waiting to pick up the pieces when things in my life fell apart. I'd always reckoned he'd forgive me in a heartbeat if I ever cheated or did anything to hurt him. Although I knew that I was such a fucking hypocrite, as I'd never forgive him for things like that.

I got closer and closer to Jack's bed, when I heard Joyce tell Oliver to get out the room, and after some groaning I'd heard many times from Oliver, he left.

"Oh, Al," He said before leaving and I spun round, "Don't call me-" I began,

"Call me Oli. I actually hate it when people call me Oliver." He grinned and left the room. I rolled my eyes and focused back on Jack who was sleeping.

I took my spot beside his bed, fiddling around with my phone when I came across the song 'Teenage Dirtbag', the song we'd had our first kiss to. I played it quietly, so not to wake him.

I sang along in a whisper, gripping onto his hands and tears forming in my eyes as a memory of that day, the day I'd felt real things for Jack.

"I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby, come with me Friday don't say maybe," I sang along.

"I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you." He sang back, his voice husky and sleepy.

"Hey," I whispered, switching the music off and my smile spreading like nobody's business. I ran a hand through his hair and looked into his eyes. "I gotta tell you something."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at me, "Is everything okay?" He said, worry already forming in his voice.

I nodded. "It will be." I cleared my throat, ruffling my hair a little. "You're not gonna like what you're about to hear,"

"I know, I can tell you've been hiding something from me for ages now." He stated and a small grin left my lips. "Don't grin!" He said, hitting me. "Tell me."

"I'm not grinning, trust me, I wish I was grinning." I tightened my grin on his hand and looked up at him, his eyes were.. well, they were perfect. I don't know how to express my love for Jack in a way that isn't soppy and doesn't make me sound gayer than I already am.

"Jack, you know when you were falling over and having problems seeing? Remember that time when we'd broken up in the woods and you fell over? Remember a week ago when you crashed your car? Don't you think it was weird all those things were happening to you in the space of a few months? When do you ever fall asleep at the wheel?"

"Yeah, I know, it is weird. I'm not dying am I? Shit, what's wrong with me?"

"Jack fucking shut up with all the questions! I'm getting to it. This is hard for me you know, you're so innocent and cute, stop for one second."

Jack grinned lightly and patted me on the nose. "Sorry, I just wanna make sure I'm not leaving this earth alone."

"I'm not Romeo and you're not Juilet."

"If we were though, I'd be Romeo. He's a hardcore-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, if I don't say this now I'll never say it."

"Okay, sorry." He giggled.

I thought about him giggling, and I thought about how much less giggling he'd do after I told him this. I didn't want to tell him, I wanted to protect him, but secrets were the worse. I'd learnt that before.

"It's, it's, your... brain." I said, my eyes diverting to the floor, shuffling my feet a little. "You've got a tumor. And it's big. You need an operation to remove it." I said, my hands shaking like a tree in the wind and my voice trembling. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't bear to stand his reaction.

After a few minutes, he laughed. He fucking laughed. "A tumor? I'm gonna be okay though, right?"

"The doctor's all seem to think it's a piece of cake." I replied, my eyes still fixed on the ground.

He laughed again. Was I sure it was laughter? Maybe he was crying? "That's nothing!" His voice chuckled. "I thought you were gonna tell me my dad died or something." He joked.

My breath caught in my throat. Fuck.